


The Thread that Binds Us

by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee), recklesslee



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Evak - Freeform, Getting Together, M/M, Miscommunication, Oblivious Isak Valtersen, Pining, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 53,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26620078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/recklesslee/pseuds/iwritetropesnottragedies, https://archiveofourown.org/users/recklesslee/pseuds/recklesslee
Summary: When Isak was a child, he was as excited as all his friends at the prospect of a soulmate. But when he grew up and realized that ‘Happily Ever After’ and Prince Charming only existed in fairy tales, Isak decided he wouldn’t allow himself to be hurt like his mother had been.Isak had no use for a soul mate. They would only cause pain. It was better not to have one at all. He was sure of it.Then Even Bech Næsheim appeared to bring everything Isak thought he knew into question.aka an Isak and Even soulmate AU
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 165
Kudos: 298





	1. Chapter 1

When children first learned about the red thread that connected them to their soulmate it was a moment of excitement. It was something to look forward to; an adventure waiting to unfold before them; a literal lead that would bring them to their second half. Who wouldn’t be excited at the prospect of love? Real love? Like the ones spoken of in stories, fairy tales of young orphans full of kindness who were destined to marry the prince of a far-off kingdom because their thread knew their worth. Children thrived on the stories superheroes and the person they had saved being destined for each other. Tales of happily ever after.

As children grew and matured, they were meant to pay attention to the red thread around their finger that only they, and on rare occasions their loved ones, were able to see. The thread, or lead as it was sometimes called, would grow longer and stronger every day as children became surer of themselves and as who they were as a person solidified with each new experience. One day, the lead would connect further than its owner could see, and as they followed it they would find it led to their perfect person.

Isak, of course, was as excited as all his friends and classmates around him at the prospect of a soulmate. He was hopeful to find love like the stories he read at night with his mother and the films he would watch snuggled next to his dad on the weekends.

However, as he grew and noticed the realities of the lives and relationships around him, Isak began to realise that those stories were only meant for the page and not actually attainable in the world that sprawled out in front of him.

All he had to do was look toward his mother, crying out into an empty home, begging the man that was supposed to be her soulmate to stay.

But his father didn’t. He severed that bond and didn’t even wait for it to fall to the ground before he made his exit.

That man had found his soulmate and started a family with her. He had made a promise to love her forever, just as she had made one to love him. But neither of his parents were perfect, as no one truly is. His mother had gotten sick, and his father in turn grew scared.

That was the end of their fairy tale.

When Isak’s father left that day, he broke his family. He shattered the bond he held with his soulmate, and he scarred Isak so savagely that he had promised himself that there was no chance that he would allow himself to be hurt like his mother had been.

So when Isak made it to high school, and he noticed his habit of letting his gaze linger on Jonas’ curls, or Chris’ smile, he started to worry. Isak was clever. When he began to realise that his soulmate would be a man, Isak was able to do the math. There was a high chance that his soulmate might end up like his dad, and Isak might end up like his mother. Or far more worrying for Isak, he was scared that it was him that might be like his dad. It was a fear Isak held so deeply, he couldn’t voice it to those around him, not even his mother.

So Isak ignored his feelings. He ignored the thread that marked him capable of them. If he didn’t have a red lead, he couldn’t fall in love. If he didn’t fall in love, he couldn’t get hurt. If Isak couldn’t get hurt, then he wouldn’t be broken. And that’s all Isak really wanted.

He still remembered that day in school.

His teacher stood at the front of the classroom as she explained her experience meeting her husband. Her thread hadn’t grown very long over the years as she grew, always just slightly out of reach but not winding the way some bonds did. When she was finally ready to search, the thread grew a deeper red, blinding as it seemed to turn down one street near her home but go no further. It wasn’t until a man exited a house on the street, intent on taking his dog for a walk, that her lead grew brighter still and longer, until it extended to its source. Hers was a simple love story.

She asked her students, just teenagers who were still young and excited, the length of their leads: short of long? His friends spoke of the thin red thread, wrapped around their left ring fingers, growing longer every day. Some were long already; some were still very short. When it became Isak’s turn, he studied his finger. The red thread he could see stretched ahead of him. He formed a tight fist and watched as the lead grow taught. He thought of his parents and the pain his mother was in, the pain he didn’t want to ever experience or inflict, and Isak made a decision.

Isak pretended he couldn’t see his.

Later, when his friends worried over it, Isak assured them that he was sure he just wasn’t ready yet. He placated them, told them it would come. But as he ignored it, as he fought its growth every day, it became easier not to see it.

And one day in the high school cafeteria, when Isak looked to his finger after his friends had mentioned it in conversation yet again, the red lead wasn’t there anymore.

Isak didn’t have to lie anymore.

He no longer had a soulmate.

++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a doozy, but we're doing this. Hopefully you're interested in taking a ride with me.
> 
> First full chapter should be coming up soon!
> 
> Let me know what you think :)
> 
> tumblr: Iwritetropesnottragedies
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	2. Chapter 2

“I was sure of it. So sure. She is perfect. There was no other option as far as I was concerned. My string was short when it got near her, longer when we were apart. But I guess she wasn’t ready when I was, because though hers was shorter, she didn’t see that it connected to mine. Not right away. But it was! They’re connected! Now we know that we are soulmates!”

The story of how you met your soulmate was usually one that was shared often. At weddings, parties, to children, and to family. When it first happened, it was worst of all. Isak had to hear over and over again about how it was so perfect, they were so happy, and it was the best moment of their lives. It was a bit sickening. And to be perfectly frank, the story was never as cute as the couple thought it was. It was obnoxious, slightly boring, and nothing near perfect.

Now Isak sat in the food court, focused on the sandwich in front of him, as he tried to drown out Magnus’ ramblings about how Vilde had finally realized they really were meant to be. It was turning him off his meal.

“We first met in high school.” Magnus waxed poetic.

“Magnus, we know.” It was quiet, and it was ignored.

“I saw her immediately. She was beautiful. Enthusiastic, authoritative, and yes, a bit scary. But all of that made me want her more.”

“We were there for that.” Mahdi was the one who whispered that one. Isak smirked at him.

“She was striking. Blond hair, piercing blue eyes, legs that could kill me.”

“We’ve met her.”

“She ignored me at first. It made sense; I was so enamored that I probably came off too strong. She was also obsessed with William at that point. It was okay, I just had to be patient. I could wait for her. And I’m so glad I did.”

At this point Isak decided to zone out. This wasn’t for him. Magnus was excited, he had been chasing Vilde since high school. Finally, in the first year of university she had taken the time to consider him, to see him for who he was, and all the things he could become. Isak had been surprised to hear that they were talking, but he was happy for Magnus. When Vilde decided to look at her finger, to check what Magnus was already so sure of, she found that her string was connected to his. Magnus was ecstatic.

Isak was excited for him as well. It’s was just that he didn’t want to hear about it. 

So Isak sat quietly and let Magnus rant. He rolled his eyes at Mahdi during the appropriate moments and nodded in agreement to Magnus when he looked like he needed it.

He waited for his next class to start, and then bolted to it when he had the chance.

++

It was the first class of the semester. Isak sat in the biology class, listening to the professor as she rattled on about the different topics they would discuss over the year. They were currently discussing the science of the bond.

“Natural biology creates the perfect imprint for humans, as someone grow it adds more genetic information to his or her bond and it grows stronger, imprinting on each member of the bond until its perfect. So, we have the bond. The connection to others that is perfect, growing and blending along with us until it has reached the perfect completion and we have found our person.” The professor finished.

Isak took his notes, making sure to underline the information regarding the chemicals present that create the red thread. Isak enjoyed listening to the science of the bond. It made it seem less scary than the ideas he had as a child. There was a reason to it, and there was an explanation for it. With science, Isak could better understand how the thread came to be, even though he still didn’t want it and everything that it brought with it. He let his pen drop to the tabletop, scratching at the palm of his hand, while the class sat quiet, waiting for the professor to continue.

“Excuse me.” A voice from behind him called. “Is there a scientific explanation for a thread disappearing?”

The squeak of chairs resounded in the auditorium like a symphony as many students turned to look at the person who spoke out. Isak didn’t join them in their gawking. He felt frozen to his seat. He felt called out. His shoulders tightened, his hand itched to close into a fist, and he fumbled with his papers for something to do.

The professor stood quietly at the front, considering the question. “It’s not common that something like that happens.”

“But it can?”

“Well, yes. I suppose so.”

“Do you have an idea why?”

“Why do our bodies change at all? There can be many contributing factors that can change the nature of our bodies. A change in chemistry of the brain, a trauma taking place that changes circumstances for a start.”

“Can you expand on that?”

“We’ll your body grows daily, and your brain with it. As your brain adapts and grows, the things you perceive and understand will grow with it. If somebody becomes sick, by developing an illness or having a foreign virus take over, it changes the chemical makeup of your body. That is, if it serious enough. There can be lasting effects. Those effects can result in a change of how a person views, understands, and interacts with the world around them. So yes, arguably that can create a situation within a body that can affect the soul bond. I don’t know of specific examples of it disappearing, but soul bonds have been affected by illness.”

Isak thought of his mother and his father. Her sickness had put a strain on their bond, his actions ended it completely.

“In regards to trauma, there are many examples of soul bonds being changed or broken due to it. Trauma can come in many forms, emotional and physical. If somebody has experienced trauma it can indeed affect the soul bond. There are cases of people who lost theirs, created a new one after that loss, or even were left without one for the rest of their lives. Trauma can have an extreme effect on a soul bond, but it can also strengthen it.”

“So, there is a chance for disappearing soul bonds to return?” The question had latched onto the hope in the professor’s words. The desperation Isak could hear in the asker’s voice, pulled at his heart. He wrung his hands, hoping the man could hear the answer he wanted, but fearing it as well.

“That’s not an easy question to answer. There are so many things that play into the circumstances that cause trauma. In some cases yes, and in others no.”

“But there is hope?”

“Well-”

The end of class came suddenly. No matter how interesting some may have found the conversation, they were quick to exit the lecture hall.

“We will continue the soul bond discussion in the future!” The professor shouted at their backs as they retreated.

Isak hoped that she would forget that conversation by the time their next class rolled around.

++

Jonas fell into the chair next to Isak unceremoniously. “Early morning classes are the devil.”

Isak tipped his extra-large coffee in Jonas’ direction in salute. “Early morning required literature classes are worse than the devil.”

Jonas rummaged through his bag and pulled out a notebook for class. “You have a point. This is an interesting subject though.”

“Soul bonds in literature?” Isak scoffed. “Right. We have definitely in no way been flooded with the stuff since childhood. This will be a wealth of information for all of us. We will only learn about things we didn’t know before this point.”

Jonas shrugged, accepting Isak’s sarcasm with a raised eyebrow. “Well at least it can be an easy grade than.”

That, Isak could not argue with.

When the professor began the lecture, listing film and literature that was heavily inspired by soulmates, Isak was prepared to put his head down and sleep the morning away. He listened idly to discussion of tropes found in stories, the same meet cutes that cropped up in film after film, and the attempts to be subversive in a genre that was generally accepted to be well known and predictable.

“We will be discussing the journey soul bond films take. The classics and the new. We will discuss what is realistic and what is fantastical. We will explore fantasy and reality.” The professor finished his sales pitch.

Isak gripped his pen tightly to his palm, feeling his nails bite at the skin below. He knew he had no interest in the course. It was only the fact that a literacy course was necessary, and that Jonas was set on choosing this one, that left Isak with little choice but to take it as well. He would much rather suffer through a class he hated with Jonas, than one that was mediocre alone.

“Will there be discussion of the trope of the journey to a soul bond? The lead to love trope?” A voice called from the front of the lecture hall.

Isak searched for it’s owner, sure that he recognized it, but was unable to find it’s source.

“Of course. The idea that soul bonds can conquer all manner of trials and tribulations is an archetype of the myths and creation stories from which we have built our ideas of love upon.”

“Will we be discussing the repercussions of these themes and tropes on those who are subjected to them on a constant basis?” Jonas called out from beside him.

Isak turned to his friend, always surprised by how easy it was for him to voice his dissent, to question the accepted reality of others.

The professor looked up at them, head cocked to the side. “Are we not a fan of the soul bond?”

“I have no issue with it.” Jonas himself actively looked for his soulmate, was sure at one point that it was Eva, until they had broken up suddenly in high school. “I just believe it is detrimental to the health of those bonds to portray love in the media as perfect and easy.”

Isak loosened his grip on his pen, rubbing at the itch it had left behind.

“Many find hope in the love that is so prevalent in those stories.” The same man said from the front of the auditorium.

“And more find it stifling and restrictive. Love is not always big, and it is not always easy. Portraying the search for the soul bond as the most important thing in any person’s life is condescending, quite honestly. We are more than the person we are meant to be with. We should be aware of ourselves to better the relationship we do end up with. There are not enough realistic stories to imprint upon us the realities of love, and there should be.”

“Then we write more! We showcase more!” The man turned toward Jonas, and Isak could just make out blond hair and tight shoulders. His hand movements were wild and excited. “We get a chance to look at the literature that inspired us, that give us hope for what we can find in our bonds. We take from that the new lessons we want to see and create for the realities of today, and we create honest literature about soul bonds. I for one, do not believe that big emotions mean that something lacks realness. Some of us can’t afford to be cynical about the realities of the bond. Those of us that need hope for our futures deserve it. In both fantastical ways and realistic ones.”

Isak looked between the two men, at the way the man’s shoulders heaved, and the way that Jonas blinked back at him at a loss of how to respond. It was quiet for a moment, but Jonas was never one to let a discussion lie dormant.

“Will there be discussion of the trope of the lost bond, then?”

The man’s shoulders fell, and he turned away from Jonas.

The professor took it for the chance it was and tried to restore order. “We will look at the famous works about bonds that are short lived. Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, and modern examples as well. We will explore tragedies and loss, but we will also be looking at the idea that love conquers all, and that even the broken stories can provide knowledge about the importance of love. Love is not easy, as you say.” He gestured to Jonas. “But literature exists for all types of people. We invite and encourage criticism. I look forward to these opinions being shared.”

When the bell to class rang it felt as if a tension was broken. Isak felt himself loosen as he looked to Jonas beside him. His curled head was down, and his eyebrows pulled together.

“Seems you have found a philosopher with a differing opinion to you.” Isak said, gathering his things as students hurried past him.

“I don’t like stories so focused on the bond. It’s not fair to people like you.”

Isak rubbed his hands guiltily. “It’s fine. I don’t mind not seeing it.”

“It’s not fine though, not really. Not when you are reminded of it all the time. Like you’re deficient.” Jonas studied the man that was still sat a few rows ahead. “Did you see how he reacted to the last thing I said, about lost bonds?”

Isak shrugged uneasily. He had. “Maybe? I don’t know Jonas. We should just go. It’s not our business.”

“You go ahead, Isak.” Jonas said, still not returning Isak’s gaze. “I just have a question for the professor.”

Isak did not want to leave him there with the blond in the front row. Isak could see the curve of his shoulders, how his jacket wrinkled as it moved with them, how he lifted his hand to run through his hair. Something about him intrigued Isak. Isak found that he wanted to continue to look. And that thought, more than his kind words about the soul bond, that thought filled Isak with fear. He wanted nothing more than for Jonas to come with him as he left the auditorium.

“Are you sure?” He asked aloud.

“Yeah, yeah. Just go.”

So, Isak did.

++

“We are so happy.”

Lunch provided Magnus with a new chance to discuss his newly formed bond. They sat in the food court. Magnus had his arm wrapped snugly around Vilde’s shoulder while she waited for her friends’ classes to finish.

“Good for you man.” Isak said, before turning to his sandwich and tuning out the discussion that was sure to continue around him.

He was just finishing when Jonas sat in front of him.

“What the fuck was that man?” He asked, cutting off Magnus mid word.

“What’s happening?” Mahdi asked beside him.

“I just had a question for the literature professor.” Jonas said easily, digging into the fries he had bought.

“Bullshit.” Isak accused. “You wanted to talk to the love guy.”

“Love guy? Who?” Vilde asked.

“Jonas has a rival.”

Jonas shrugged. “We had a difference of opinion. He had a point he wanted to make, and he didn’t shut down mine. We talked about it a bit after class is all. He seemed chill.”

“You’re chill with someone who wants to hope that the soul bond will be his salvation?”

“We don’t get to decide for others what they want. Only for ourselves. Maybe its not a big deal if we have a lot of love stories, as long as we make sure we showcase realistic stories as well. I get it. We don’t need to always be disillusioned.”

“One talk and this guy has you willing to see the merits of the bond?” Mahdi asked, and Isak could tell he was impressed.

“I want to meet the one who could do that.” Magnus was, too.

“I don’t.” Isak said coldly. He didn’t. Isak didn’t want to see the merits of a soul bond. They would cause him nothing but pain and discomfort. He scratched at the palm of his hand, balling his sandwich wrapper up to throw into the nearby garbage can. Isak had no interest in soul bonds. He had no interest in love. Isak was happy he had lost sight of his thread, and there was nothing and no one who could convince him otherwise.

“About that...” Jonas said as he looked beyond Isak’s shoulder.

A tray clattered to his right, a heavy body following shortly after. Isak felt his shoulders tense, turning to take in the new occupant at the table. Blond hair, long neck, fingers that toyed with the tray that held his lunch. Bright blue eyes, happy and welcoming as they took in first the table and then finally Isak.

“Hi.” That deep voice from Literature whispered again.

Isak didn’t respond with the rest of his friends.

“Magnus, Vilde, Mahdi and Isak.” Jonas introduced. He gestured to the stranger next Isak. “Meet the rival.”

The blond laughed, deep and sweet. He let himself settle fully into the seat beside Isak, eyes scanning around the table before settling his blue-eyed gaze directly beside him once again. “Nice to meet you all. I’m Even.”

++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the teacher talk is made up bull. I just wanted to portray how ridiculously intense I believe Jonas and Even would be in uni.
> 
> Let me know what you think. I really love it. :)
> 
> find me:
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	3. Chapter 3

Even was turning out to be a thorn in Isak’s side that he was unable to figure out how to deal with. He had an answer to everything that was questioned, and an opinion to every topic. Isak did not know how to deal with it. And with each new passing conversation, Isak found that he could not work up the courage to even speak to Even.

That first day was fine.

He had gotten away with it.

Even was happy to actually engage with Magnus and Vilde, excited to hear about their love story and how they realized they were bonded. Magnus had been so happy Isak noticed, as he refused to look at the man sat directly beside him for fear he might not be able to look away. Magnus was loud and boisterous as he explained the story to someone who had never heard it before. In return, Even asked questions, begged Vilde to repeat a part that seemed particularly poignant and laughed or sighed along with the couple when they spoke of their favourite memories of their bonding.

Isak had ben forced to sit and listen to the full story for once, feeling like he really hadn’t given Magnus a chance to truly share his joy. Well, that was because Isak hadn’t wanted to share his joy. He still didn’t, but the interaction between Even and Magnus was almost forcing him to. He noticed how Magnus really did seem happier now than he was back in high school, and even how he had been happier in the weeks before Vilde had asked to look if their thread connected just because they had been interacting.

Isak felt the warmth radiating off the couple, and he felt it reciprocated beside him. The stranger beside him felt more genuine happiness for Magnus than Isak did. He glanced at the man beside him, at his long fingers gripping his burger, and wondered about his thread. Isak clenched his own fingers, keeping himself from giving into his urge to touch. He brought his gaze up, past sleek blond strands and to the side profile of the new guy, Even, his mind easily supplied. He watched those bright blue eyes, weary of how welcoming they seemed, how open they were to what was new and unknown. Those blue eyes turned to him suddenly, eyes alight with a question strong within them.

“Everything okay?”

Isak didn’t reply, but those eyes never darkened.

It made Isak uncomfortable, and at the first chance he got he fled the table with the excuse of his next class.

++

Isak didn’t see Even every day. He had other friends, and they didn’t share many classes. Isak did, however, have an uncanny sense of when Even was near. He was aware of him in the classes they did share, he somehow found him in hallways, and he swore he could sometimes hear Even’s voice carrying from other rooms into the one Isak sat in.

And when Even sat at the lunch table they had commandeered as their own, it was always next to Isak some how.

It could be explained away. The seat next to him was always unoccupied, or the person who had sat there had just happened to move across to another seat because of the conversation they were having.

The first time Even settled next to him after Isak fled, he pushed a scrap paper into Isak’s space. There was a doodle of an empty chair, and the back of a man in a snap back rushing away so fast that he left a trail of wind in his exit. Isak blushed and pulled the sheet into his bag quickly. He had just caught the smile on Even’s lips when he looked up to glare at him. Isak’s obvious grumpiness hadn’t deterred Even’s cheeriness in the slightest.

++

The days passed in a similar fashion.

Isak always found himself sat next to Even, and Even always greeted him with a small smile and a quiet hello. Isak would do his best to ignore the heat beside him. He would nod or shrug or look away. He would never reply.

Even would ask Isak a question or refer to the classes they shared. Isak would pretend he hadn’t heard or try to speak with Jonas or Mahdi or Magnus before the question had formed fully on Even’s tongue. If none were free, Isak would flee the table with some excuse or other.

Even began to pass him notes and draw on the napkins near Isak’s tray. Always a boy in a snapback with a frown on his face. He would reach into Isak’s space, spread his arms out wide and lean in when speaking. His eyes would follow Isak, smile on his face and eyes welcoming. Isak would try his best to be small, to ignore the olive branch extended to him, to keep from looking to see if Even was still paying attention to him.

It had become a sort of ritual. This touch and go. Even would try to include Isak into his conversation, Isak would shut down any attempts, and Even would accept it pulling back and regrouping until he would inevitably try again.

++

“Do you know what they’re even talking about?”  
  


Isak turned to Even when he spoke up beside him. Isak had been tuning out a confounding conversation between Mahdi and Magnus which somehow seemed to include both cats and waffles as a topic. Isak had given up on following it almost immediately.  
  


Now Even had brought his attention to it, and with it to him. Isak could see his furrowed brows, his nose scrunched up in interest, his smile slight and quizzical. Isak looked away when he realised he had taken too long studying Even.  
  


He didn’t answer.  
  


Not even when Even repeated the question. Not even when he tapped Isak’s elbow with his own. Not even when he softly called out Isak’s name.  
  


Instead he looked to the table. To his hands and to his food. He did shrug his shoulders though, and that must have been enough to satisfy Even because he huffed a quiet laugh.  
  


“Good talk.” Even whispered, eyes soft and smile small.  
  


Isak tamped down on the responding smile that pulled at his lips.

++

“Do you guys wanna come over to play fifa later?” Magnus asked between bites of his sandwich.  
  


Jonas shrugged.  
  


Mahdi nodded.  
  


“I think so.” Isak said. “I don’t have work to do.”  
  


“I love fifa.” Even smiled. “I bet I could smoke you all.” He jostled Isak’s shoulder.  
  


“Oh you’re on.” Jonas laughed, leaning forward.  
  


“I am the king.” Mahdi declared.  
  


“You’ve never seen me play.” Even smiled. “I can beat anyone. Just because I’m so friendly in the game.”  
  


“That makes no sense.” Magnus laughed.  
  


“You’ll see. Isak will help me win.” Even smiled at him.  
  


Isak felt an unknown feeling drop in his stomach.  
  


“See? This is why I know you’re too nice. Isak is vicious in the game. He will eat you alive.” Mahdi sent a pointed look in Isak’s direction.  
  


Even made a considering noise. Isak felt his eyes on him as he sat quiet for a moment. He didn’t dare to look. “No.” Even said. “Isak’s a softie. He likes me more than he lets on. He’ll definitely let me win in the end.”  
  


There was the same swooping sensation in Isak’s stomach. He fiddled for his phone for something to do, ignoring the laughs from his friends and Even’s continued sure comments. Isak felt nervous at what a night out with Even might look like. He was worried that Even could be right in his diagnosis. He looked to Magnus. “I don’t actually know if I can make it.”  
  


There was a chorus of groans around the table at his words.  
  


“Boo, Isak.” Magnus said.  
  


But Isak had already decided it was in his best interest to stay away.

++

It was becoming obvious that Isak wasn’t responding to or interacting with Even.

Jonas was the first to call him out on it, and then Mahdi. It was worst when Magnus stated it plainly.

“What is your problem with him?”

“I don’t have a problem with him.” Isak didn’t. In theory.

“Why don’t you give him a chance then? You can’t be antagonistic to everyone you meet.” Mahdi was also ready and willing to be blunt on a regular basis.

“I have not been antagonistic.”

“He’s right.” Bless Jonas. This is why he was Isak’s best friend. “You have to actually engage with someone to fight with them. Isak is just rude.”

Isak blanched. “I’m not rude. I just don’t have anything to say to him.”

“Like hello?” Magnus asked.

How was he supposed to respond to that? Okay, maybe he had been a little rude, but it was self preservation really. Even had a completely different viewpoint than he did on so many subjects, and Isak knew that the way he voiced his opinions could come off strongly. He knew his friends would side with Even, because Isak wouldn’t know how to say what he really meant, and Isak in the long run wouldn’t be able to blame them for that. So, he saved them all the trouble. He simply didn’t engage.

Isak didn’t know how to voice his reasoning without sounding rude, so he stayed silent.

“No excuse? Good, then you could try to talk to him next time. Don’t be an asshole.” Jonas reasoned.

Fine. He could do that. Maybe.

++

His chance came later that week, after another explosive literature lesson. Isak marveled at Even and Jonas as they made their way to the food court in a small group. They could have been alone, they were so interested in their own conversation, and Isak offered nothing to it.

Isak took a seat at the empty table, noting how Even sat next to him even through there were other open seats. The two blonds sat facing Jonas in front of them.

Isak listened idly to the two as they discussed the bond in Romeo and Juliet, taking a bite of his lunch any time that he was asked a question or included in the conversation. He would reply, he would. Just not yet.

The conversation was just beginning to get heated when Magnus and Mahdi arrived.

“But its glorifying the bond! How else can they possibly end the strife besides the dying bond of a couple from rival houses?” Jonas said sarcastically. “It’s stupid. Have a conversation.” Jonas slumped back in his chair, affecting a disinterested look.

Even leaned forward, Isak had to move his tray to keep flailing hands from knocking it to the floor. “The theme is love conquering all. A soul bond should have been enough to end the strife, but the families did not want to see it, they held on to pain and anger and it cost them their children. Children who were literally destined by the stars!”

“Yeah this conversation needs to end.” Mahdi said casually, falling into the seat beside Jonas.

“What’s up with your whole soul bond thing anyway?” Magnus added, sitting next to Even.

“What can I say? I’m a romantic.” Even laughed, easing the tension at the table when he turned to Magnus and swiped a fry from his tray. “You should now how great that feeling is. Meeting your soulmate, falling in love, and knowing you have someone to love you through thick and thin.”

Isak snorted beside him.

“Did I say something funny?” Even turned fully to Isak, eyes questioning.

“Hardly.” Well, at least he replied.

“What’s wrong with looking forward to having that person, the one person who will love you despite the things that might make you hard to like, maybe even because of it?”

Isak could feel Even’s presence looming over him. He leaned closer, interested in what Isak could have to say. Isak leaned back, fingers scratching at his palm. “It’s just not realistic.”

“There are literal threads that attach us to our perfect person. It is scientifically proven that our biology creates this bond. What isn’t realistic here?”

“Yes, appeal to Isak’s scientific side.” Mahdi whispered. “Get him.”

“Biology can change. Why can’t bonds as well? Something happens today that compromises my immune system, a virus, a cold, a sickness. I have no control over it, but suddenly something has changed. Maybe something that is out of our control like the trauma the professor spoke about in our science class. Boom. My bond changes. It breaks, and there is nothing we can do about it.” Isak ignored the look Jonas shot him. It was both pitying and filled with worry. Isak knew what he would see in those eyes, and he wanted neither.

“We can grow from it. Or with it. If the love is there, the bond will mold, as it did the years it was forming. The soul bonds find us the perfect person for us, and we work together to create the perfect union.” Even was so optimistic about the abilities of the bond. About the people within it.

“Not everyone is willing to work together. Things get tough and people bail.” Isak said, curt and defensive. Not everyone could afford optimism. Some knew the realities of relationships.

“Why are you so cynical about it?” It wasn’t asked rudely. Even seemed like he was truly curious as to why Isak was so against the bond.

“I need to head to class.” He ignored Jonas shaking his head in disapproval as he gathered his things and left.

++

“Maybe less intense next time?” Mahdi suggested. “We want him to like you.”

“He’s intense!” Isak complained. He didn’t want or care if Even liked him.

“Yeah, but it works for him.” Magnus said. “You just seem rude.”

“I think he likes you, though.” Jonas said.

“Why do you think that?” Isak asked, mindful to keep his tone neutral. Jonas didn’t usually claim to know what others were thinking.

“Well, he asked me about you. Nothing weird.” Jonas assured. “But it just seemed like he was interested in knowing your deal. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he didn’t care about you at all. You haven’t given him any reason to.”

“That’s a good point.” Mahdi agreed.

“You don’t deserve him being nice. We’ll be his friends and just ditch you.” Jonas said.

Isak threw a wrapper at him.

“We can still be friends with both of them, can’t we?” Magnus asked.

Isak hated that Magnus was being sincere with the question.

++

Science class was about to start, and Isak had settled himself in the row directly in front of where Even had sat and gestured Isak to follow him to. He heard Even’s huff of laughter when he walked by, but he refused to look back to see it on his face. He needed to focus on the lesson. He did not need to be seated next to a debater who would only distract him from the science available to be learned.

Isak had forgotten his charger for his computer at his dorm, so he knew that his note taking wouldn’t survive on a word document for this period.  
  


Isak bent low to the ground, reaching for his backpack and rummaging within it. He pulled out his laptop, his notebook, and needed to look a second time for a pen. Then a third. Then he lifted the backpack to his front and dove his head into the bag to rummage around it for a writing utensil. He moved his loose papers and notebooks about until he heard the clearing of a throat above him.  
  


“Do you need something?” Even asked, smirking at Isak from where he sat behind him.  
  


Isak’s shoulders tensed, as he pulled his head out from his bag and looked resolutely forward. He ignored the chuckle that he heard from behind him.  
  


“Really, Isak?” Even’s voice sounded flustered, but when Isak threw a quick look behind him he caught a delighted smile forming on Even’s lips. “Just let me help you. Do you need anything?”  
  


Isak looked at Even, at his earnest eyes and his friendly smile. He never seemed to stop smiling, no matter how rude Isak was to him. That smile didn’t leave Even’s plush lips. Isak was flustered every time his eyes dropped to it. “Uh...” He started at the sound Even made to pull him back to the matter at hand. “A pen?”  
  


Even smiled. He reached into his own bag and pulled out a pencil case. Isak craned his neck to see as Even’s long fingers reached in the case to pull out various art pieces. “I don’t know what you prefer...” He told Isak, settling on something in the case. “But I have a lead pencil or a pen available.”  
  


Isak watched as those long fingers pulled out both items with a flourish. Even extended them forward with a smile in Isak’s direction. The pencil was pink with floral designs down the sides, the pen was purple ink with bows, hearts, and presents placed sporadically along its length. Isak looked up into Even’s growing smile. He could tell Even was extremely happy with the direction their exchange was headed in.  
  


“Are you serious?” Isak asked.  
  


Even put on a feigned look of confusion. “Is something wrong?” He asked.  
  


“Why do you have such girly pens?”  
  


Even let out an affronted noise. “Isak! Nothing about these pens are girly. Do you not like flowers? Do you not enjoy presents? Do you not love love?”  
  


Isak rolled his eyes, reaching forward and grabbing the first one to reach his hand. He turned around quickly, ignoring as Even muttered a reminder that Isak should thank him. He looked down at the pencil in his hand, pink with daisies down the length. He gripped it tightly between his fingers and got to work.  
  


Isak did not return the pencil at the end of lecture, but he supposed Even must not have missed it too much because he smiled, from the other side of Jonas, when he saw Isak pull it out to use in their next shared literature class.

++

“Did you meet your soul bond then?” Magnus asked. He and Even had been discussing movies during their lunch break, and as usual with Magnus, that turned into a discussion of the last film he and Vilde had went to see the week before.

“Not yet.” There was an odd fierceness to Even’s words. Isak watched at how his hands gathered into fists when he said it. It made him want to clench his own hands into fists, to keep him from reaching forward.

Magnus looked confused. “I thought you said you had a girlfriend?”

Even laughed, playing with his hands when he noticed all eyes were on him. He was looking at Isak when he answered. “Had. Sonja.”

“You dated someone who wasn’t your bond?” Isak hadn’t meant to say it out loud, and he ducked his head in embarrassment at having been caught off guard enough to let the words slip. When he looked back up, Even smiled softly at him.

“We had been friends since primary school. It was more that we were a comfort to each other than dating, but yes we were in a relationship.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, grin widening at Isak’s blush in response.

“You’re okay with not being someone’s first choice?” How could a man so in love with love be willing to settle for less than that?

“I’m okay with finding solace in another person. It’s the idea of loneliness that eats me alive. Don’t you agree?” Even’s gaze was curious, but Isak did not want to share any secrets. When the silence stretched, Even continued. “We both knew what we were getting into. When she met Matz, we were finished, and that was okay. We still care for each other, but she found her true love.”

He seemed so much more mature than Isak could ever hope to be. “I don’t think I could give my heart away like that.” He whispered.

“Falling in love is easier than you might think.” Even’s gaze was intense.

“That’s what always scared me about it.” Isak whispered. Even leaned back at that, eyes sad, and Isak was reminded that they weren’t alone at the table. He avoided Jonas’ eyes. “Anyways, I best get off to class. Don’t want to be late.”

“I’ll come with you.” Even offered, standing up from his seat.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

Isak was afraid of that.

++

“It was nice to talk to you.” Even said. They had been waiting outside the lecture hall for their shared science class after walking together in an awkward silence.

Isak winced, embarrassed. “Sorry about that.”

Even laughed. “Don’t worry about it.” He smiled, teasing. “Being friendly isn’t for everyone.”

“Shut up.”

“But it was so awkward before!” And it was, but that tension was dissipating by the second. Isak smiled softly at Even, and it was returned easily. “I hope you know that means we are sitting together in class. I need help with all the hard Science stuff.”

Isak rolled his eyes, but he knew his answer was sincere when he spoke. “Okay. I can help you.”

Even smiled. He leaned into Isak’s space, whispering into his ear in the crowded hallway. “We are going to be friends before you know it.”

Isak scoffed. “I’d like to see you try it.” A smile pulled at his lips. He made sure it didn’t reach them.

“Before you know it.” Even promised.

Isak shook his head, an exasperated laugh bubbling within him. “I’m only friends with people I care about.”

“I’m gonna make you care so much!”

Even sounded so sure of himself.

Isak was afraid Even would be right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer one for you all. 
> 
> I have a good idea where this is going, but I'm trying to work out the having an actual schedule thing when it comes to upload time. Rest assured you'll get once a week.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I enjoy feedback a lot :)
> 
> Find me:
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	4. Chapter 4

Things began to subtly change over the course of the next few weeks.

Isak would reply to Even’s greetings. Sometimes he would even say hello first. On those days, Even would smile wide, or elbow Isak’s shoulder, face softening and eyes kinder than Isak ever thought possible. Isak’s cheeks would heat at the sight, and he would dive into focus on his meal, or the papers in front of him, or his phone if all else failed to distract him.

Sometimes, he would still be quiet and standoffish. Slow to answer or harsh in his words, but Even seemed to forgive those moments. His brow would furrow, or a frown would make its way to his lips, but he would always shrug away Isak’s apologetic looks, or his quiet sorry when he had realised he had been harsh.

++

Even slid a new drawing over to Isak in the middle of lesson.

Somewhere over the course of the last week or so Even had arranged it so that Isak sat in the middle of Jonas and him. He had done it smoothly, innocuously, and it seemed that Jonas hadn’t taken note of it at all. Now Even was able to steal Isak’s attention whenever he wanted without taking Jonas’ as well. It worked so well that Isak would be distracted when Even poked him with a pencil or pointed out the floral one in Isak’s hand that he had yet to return without Jonas ever sending an odd or calculating look their way. Each new occurrence had Isak’s shoulders relaxing that little bit more in Even’s presence. It had his guard lowering, and Isak found that he was less and less frightened each time he opened himself to Even that little bit more.

Isak looked down at the paper before him. The drawing was split in two separate images. On one side there was an image of Isak, Jonas and Even sat in class. Isak looked bored, falling asleep on the table. Jonas sat focused on what was happening at the front of class, and Even sat head tilted just slightly to suggest his attention was captured by two things simultaneously, eyebrows taught and mouth wide as he yelled at the professor no doubt meant to be at the front of class. Yet he also seemed to be focused on the space beside him, the space which Isak and Jonas occupied. The second image showed Even beside Isak rather than Jonas. Only now, Isak was focused and looking forward, and Even was looking at the miniature Isak with a smile as he wrote using the floral pencil.

Isak didn’t know what Even meant to convey with the image. Was it meant to show that he liked the way they were beginning to interact? Isak didn’t know how to respond to such a notion, but if he was being the least bit honest with himself, Isak found that he liked the second image more than the first. But he wasn’t prepared to explore the reasons why that may be.

Isak held the paper tightly, creasing its edges. He pulled it roughly into his backpack beside him before Jonas might glance over and see it.

Even didn’t say anything, looking to the professor and listening to her as she discussed the journey trope in literature. The prevalence of the search for soul bonds present in so many love stories.

Isak started to make notes on the subject, but soon became distracted by the idea of the paper in his bag. Isak reached for his backpack and pulled it onto his lap. He placed his hand into his bag with the pretence of searching for something. When his hand found the paper, he smoothed it out and rearranged it so that it would not crease any further. He looked at the image one more time.

It wasn’t until he heard Jonas’ voice beside him that Isak looked away from the paper in front of him. He just caught sight of the smile on Even’s lips as he turned away from Isak and looked to the front of the class.

++

Isak sat with his hands in his backpack as he searched for his lunch. And then searched again. He was sure he had made it that morning, a sad thing of cheese and bread with a yoghurt to spare. He had made it, he was sure of that, and yet it was nowhere to be found in his bag. Isak gave up when he had a sudden moment of clarity as he remembered leaving it in the shared kitchen of the dorms that he lived in. It wouldn’t even be worth it to go back and look for it, because someone would have thrown it out by now.

Annoyed, Isak scrounged about his pockets to see if he could find the change for something small to ease his hunger. He had made the mistake of overspending the allowance his father had provided for him last week. Where he was usually fine by the end of the month, Isak was living within tighter means all because he had splurged on a game for his x-box.

Now Isak sat with his shoulders slumped, prepared to suffer through lunch without anything to eat. He could feel his stomach rumble beneath his shirt and hoped no one had heard it at the table.

His attempt to quiet it must have been unsuccessful, because Even made a spectacle of himself as he loudly pushed away his fries in Isak’s direction.

“Oh, I’m so full!” Even declared to the table around him. “I don’t even know what I was thinking grabbing such a large portion. Please eat it.” He said it to the table but had already ensured the Styrofoam plate was directly in front of Isak.

Isak sent Even an unimpressed look, but it was undermined by the loud rumble his stomach chose to release at that moment. Isak grumpily took a fry and bit into it while glaring at Even’s smiling face.

++

It was just after literacy class, and Even was no where to be found. Isak noted immediately how much quieter the table was with his absence. His shoulders sagged, and he relaxed. It had been days since he had the ability to think clearly, to form thoughts and words that weren’t slowly influenced by a quick response or a differing point of view. It’s nice to have the space to think, even if Isak did find it a bit too quiet at the table.

There was no conversation. As if the group of friends had become accustomed to answering questions rather than asking them.

The silence stretched to the point that even Isak started to find it uncomfortable. By this point Even would already be engaging Jonas in a discussion of their class or asking Magnus about his plans with Vilde in the coming days. He would have made Mahdi laugh at one of his jokes. Isak would have been entertained in spite of himself.

Isak cleared his throat. “So, class? The talk about repeated tropes reminded me of the multiverse theory in science. I liked the connection.”

His friends turned to him, quiet for a moment before they burst into response.

“You still talk?” Mahdi asked.

“I missed your voice.” Magnus added.

“Why do you like it? What does it suggest?” Jonas asked quietly, responding to Isak’s actual statement.

Isak ignored the first two comments, focused on Jonas’ question instead. “I just like the idea that there are tropes that can be repeated and recognised as easily understandable. Even if the events differ, the same tropes can be told, the same ideas shared. It’s like there can be another version of me out there with similar ideas and issues, but what I do about them is different. Maybe there is a version of us that don’t have to be worried about the soul bond at all, and they are just as happy or unhappy as we are here. Other Isak made different decisions from me and because of that he is dealing with some other event or problem created around the same themes. I don’t know, I just like it.”

“That’s kind of sad though.” Isak felt Even’s presence above him before he even took the seat beside him. When Isak chanced a glance, he found Even smiling. “What if all the other Evens out there have made bad decisions, and I’m actually the happiest one of the bunch? That’s kind of depressing, isn’t it? I want every me to be happier.”

Isak was quiet. What a sad thought that was. Was it possible for an Even somewhere to be sad? Even after saying that, Even was smiling at Isak. It didn’t seem possible he could be sad. “I think you’ll be happy. All of you.” His voice was hushed. It felt like he was letting out a secret.

“Even if I’m not now?” Even questioned.

“Without the sadness, how would we know the good moments when we get them?” Isak frowned, unsure what he wanted to say exactly. He let the silence linger, and Even didn’t move to end it. He just looked at Isak, with wide blue eyes.

“Our Isak is an optimist. He just doesn’t know how to word it to us.” Magnus stage whispered.

“I am not!” Isak grumped.

“No, you are.” Even’s voice was soft. “You see sunshine in others, it just takes you a minute sometimes.”

Isak didn’t know how to reply to that.

++

Isak was not used to seeing Even so quiet, it never seemed to happen in the short time they knew each other. Usually Even would try to keep a conversation going or disagree with Jonas about whatever new educational focus he was stuck on. But today, after their literature class, Even just seemed out of it. He didn’t engage with the conversation, and he didn’t seem happy. Isak didn’t like it.

Unsure what to do, Isak resorted to what made him feel best. A habit Noora had built into him from his time at their flat share in high school. Excusing himself from the group, he went on a short mission. When he returned, he settled next to Even and nudged the items in his hands towards him. Even looked at Isak in question, but Isak just continued to offer him what was in his hands.

“Did you get me tea?” Even asked, quiet, like it was a secret between the two of them that those around them weren’t privy to. 

Isak nodded. “And a cookie too.” He admitted. Noora used to do it for him in high school, and Eskild too, in moments when Isak had been really down. It had always helped to make him feel just a little better.

Even was looking at him now, and though his expression changed, there was still a sadness present. “Why would you do that for me?”

Isak looked away from those searching eyes. “You looked sad today.”

Even reached for Isak’s hand, smiling softly when Isak’s head shot up at the contact. He let it go before Isak could fully comprehend the warmth on his hand and took a sip of the tea in an over the top manner to make Isak roll his eyes. “Thank you.” Even said when he finished. Isak was embarrassed by its sincerity. “I was sad.”

Isak ignored his warm cheeks, hoping Even wouldn’t comment on them. “Can I ask why?”

Even’s fingers gripped at the cup in his hands, and Isak felt his own hand scratch at his palms in response.

“I didn’t like the conversation in class today.”

“About the Great Gatsby?” Isak asked, confused.

“Yeah.” Even let out a long sigh. “I don’t like the sad ones very much.”

“You were literally raving about Romeo and Juliet the other day.”

Even laughed, nodding his head in a way that suggested he was conceding Isak’s point. “But they ended up together. For a time anyways. Their love was confirmed, even if it was short lived, and you have to believe they meet each other again in the stars above. The story’s sad, but their love isn’t.”

Isak played with his fingers, unsure how to ask his next question. There was a story there, but Isak didn’t want to pry. “So, you don’t like the Great Gatsby because Jay doesn’t get to be with Daisy?”

“Kind of.” Even said. “It’s more that I don’t understand how Daisy can ignore the bond. She knows she is meant to be with Gatsby, but that doesn’t matter to her. She causes them both unimaginable pain.”

Isak felt his stomach bottom out. He looked away from Even. Even didn’t know, so Isak shouldn’t feel so hurt, but he felt judged by those words. Isak chose to ignore his bond. He was causing someone somewhere pain unless they had somehow found another bond to be happy in. And the thought of that hurt too. He didn’t want to contemplate that that may happen. Isak was selfish in his choices to end his bond, but he had reason.

He glanced at Jonas and saw how the brunet was watching Isak. Isak must have been quiet too long, because Jonas was the one who responded. “It happens though. People have chosen to break their bond.”

Even looked to Jonas. “Who would do that?”

Isak could feel Jonas’ eyes on him, and he could feel when Even’s eyes joined him. “Isak?”

He didn’t like to talk about it, but for whatever reason, Isak felt like Even should know. “My dad left my mom.” He shrugged, hoping it came off nonchalant. “She had gotten sick, and he didn’t want to deal with it. Instead of working with her, he left.”

It was quiet for a moment, then, “Fuck.”

It startled a laugh from Isak. “It’s fine. Happened a long time ago. I just learned that soul bonds could suck.” He saw the concern in Even’s eyes and waved it off. “Drink your tea.”

Even was still concerned, Isak could tell, but he let the conversation drop. “Only if you eat half the cookie.”

Isak let his lips lift softly into a facsimile of a smile, he could do that.

++

Even was away from first their lunch table, then their science lesson the next week. Not a big deal. It happens. But for whatever reason, it set Isak on edge.

When he didn’t show up the next day for literacy, Isak worried further. The worried feeling wasn’t all consuming, but rather like a strange thin frequency that seemed to dig into Isak’s skin. He didn’t seek Even out, but he couldn’t help but notice his absence.

Magnus helped by vocalising Isak’s thoughts. “Does anyone know what happened to Even? I haven’t seen him all week. Five days off is a big deal.”

“Uh...” Jonas looked up from his meal to take in the curious eyes of the table around him. “I dunno. I texted him, but he didn’t really respond.”

“What’s his number?” Isak hadn’t meant to ask it out loud, at least not so eagerly, but no one seemed to take note of it. “I mean I share a science class with him. He’ll need the notes. He doesn’t really get what’s going on when he is there, so he’ll need them now that he’s away.”

Jonas studied him for a moment, but whatever thought had captured his attention, he let slide a moment later. “I’ll send it to you.”

When Isak got into his bed that night, he sent a text Even’s way. A promise to share his notes if needed and a casual check in. Even didn’t respond.

Isak fell asleep with a feeling of disappointment.

He awoke late in the night to an unsaved number responding to his text.

_I’m okay. Just feeling a little off. Be back soon._

_Keep those notes handy._

Isak smiled at his phone. He clicked the number and saved it to his phone. _Even Rival_. He fell back to sleep feeling more relaxed than when he had went down earlier.

Although Even was away the next Monday too, Isak felt more settled with the knowledge that he was fine. Isak didn’t need to pry further. He believed Even when he said he was fine.

And when he did come back, the day after that, softer and quieter than when he had left but smile still present on his lips and in his eyes, Isak did not join his friends in asking Even where he had been. He listened to Even’s words, about feeling down and how he was okay, and Isak believed him. He was quiet in his belief, but by the smile Even sent his way, Isak thought that Even might have heard it anyways.

++

“It’s safe to say he doesn’t think you’re an ass, anymore.” Jonas said.

They were walking home together. It was the first time in a couple weeks that Isak had gotten to be alone with his best friend. He had missed it.

“Who?”

“Even.” Jonas pushed at his shoulder playfully. “You know the rest of us still think you are, though.”

Isak laughed. “Thanks. It was just notes for class. It wasn’t a big deal. Wanted to make things a bit easier on him, because he doesn’t suit sad.”

Isak could see the cogs turning as Jonas refused to look at him for a moment. “You know,” Jonas started. “You look sad too sometimes, but less so when he’s around.”

Isak played with his fingers. “We’re not talking about this.”

Jonas sighed, but relented. “Okay. Not yet.”

There was a promise of later in that statement. He didn’t like what that meant, but Isak would take whatever reprieve he could get.

++

“Is your thread still long? Or is it smaller?” Magnus asked one day out of nowhere.

Isak glared at him so fiercely he actually saw Magnus flinch a bit.

“What do you mean?” Even asked, unaware of the chilly reaction Magnus was receiving from Isak beside him.

“Sorry? Is that rude to ask? You’re just so open about looking for your bond. I was wondering if you felt like it was close?”

“No, its okay.” Even smiled so brightly, there was no room for doubt that he may have been offended by the question. He pat Magnus’ back, showing he didn’t mind. “I don’t really know. I can’t actually see my bond.”

The table went quiet.

“What?” Isak breathed, throat tight.

Even shrugged his shoulders, affecting an air of nonchalance, but Isak could see how his smile seemed strained and his eyes looked dull. “It’s not a big thing. I had one… I have one, but it disappeared on me one day. I’m looking to find it again. It’s just a matter of time.”

“What happened?” Mahdi asked. “I’m sorry if that’s rude to ask.” His tone wasn’t rude though, it was quiet, saddened and curious.

“I was in high school…” Even started. He stopped, taking a moment to regain his thoughts. “I used to look at it a lot, it gave me this sense of purpose, like something big was just waiting for me to find it. But things got a bit heavy in my third year though, and one day it was gone.”

“How does that just happen?” Magnus asked.

“I mean, I don’t know. Bad luck?” Even phrased it like a joke, but it fell flat when no one laughed. “My parents brought me to a doctor, and they ran some tests. It’s actually how we found out I was bipolar and in the middle of an episode when it happened. There was a lot of discussion around that being what triggered it, but there was no history of it ever happening with any other cases of people with different mental health needs, so there is no actual understanding for why it disappeared. That’s actually why I chose to join the science course that I share with you.” He looked to Isak when he said it. “I wanted to gain more understanding for myself. Why can someone lose their bond, and how does one find it again?”

Isak’s heart hurt. Even was a man who wanted his bond so much, but he had lost it through no fault of his own. Isak felt guilt well within him at the thought of losing a bond. What he did was by choice, and Even didn’t get to have his. His hand itched to reach for Even’s. He had to grip tightly at his own hands, nails digging into his palms, to keep from reaching forward and trying to comfort Even.

“My mom has bipolar disorder too!” Magnus yelled, off topic and excited. “That’s something we have in common! We can get closer talking about stuff and experiences. This is awesome.” Even laughed, and Isak took a moment to recognize that Magnus offered a good source of happiness, and a good source of conversational derailment, to the group when it was needed. Even if his words were sometimes over-the-top or without thought. Isak liked the way Even’s shoulders perked, and he ran his hand through his hair sheepishly at Magnus’ words. Magnus continued unaware, “Actually, you and Isak have something in common too! Isak can’t see his bond either.”

Isak felt his cheeks heat, sure they were bright red. He took back everything he had just said.

Even had turned to him, curiosity bright in his blue eyes. “Isak?”

Isak looked down in embarrassment, playing with his hands for something to do. “It’s not a big deal, like you said.”

When he chanced a glance at Even, the look he received was piercing. “Did you lose yours too?”

Isak did not want to lie to him. The urge to spill out a truth he had hidden was immense. In the end he did not need to choose, because Jonas answered for him. “He has never been able to see it. Ever since he was a kid.”

Isak felt his cheeks heat further. He didn’t know it would sting so much to hear Jonas confirm a falsehood he had uttered so easily years ago. “It’s cool.” He tried deflecting. “I never minded not having it.” That had always been the truth, but saying it to Even, caused something unpleasant to stir within his stomach. Something like regret.

“It’s really sad.” Magnus said, looking at Isak in a pitying manner.

Isak glared at him in response. There was nothing wrong with Isak’s choice, and he knew he was better off having lost it than his parents before him.

“Maybe he’s complete on his own.”

Isak looked to Even. He was completely serious, more so than Isak had ever seen him before, and he spent more time than he’d like to admit looking at Even during lectures or as he ate.

“Doesn’t that mean you could be too?” Isak whispered.

“I don’t feel broken, Isak. I just want my bond back, and I am willing to work to get it.” Even’s tone was fierce, and Isak did not doubt for one moment that Even would fight to get his soulmate back. “I think that it is okay if someone feels like they are complete without the bond, but it is also okay if they feel like they want that connection. Each person is different, and they are allowed to feel however they want. Isak can feel complete and not want to search out a bond. I can feel like I’m enough and still want to search out the bond in order to share who I am with the person I am meant to. Neither of us are broken, and neither of us are sad.”

He smiled at the table, looking to Isak last, and nudging his shoulder. Isak rubbed at the area of skin that Even had come into contact with.

Magnus looked embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to suggest you weren’t complete…” He said.

Even waved off his apology. “It’s chill Mags. I just love the idea of seeing my thread again and following its lead to my perfect person. Then I will spend my time telling him or her the story of how long it took to find them.”

Isak perked up at the wording Even chose. “Him or her?” Isak questioned, stomach feeling tight from anticipation of how Even would answer.

“Yeah, whichever. Doesn’t matter to me as long as they’re my person.” Even wriggled his eyebrows playfully. “Why you looking to apply?”

Isak choked on the water he had been sipping, dropping some out of his mouth, and spluttering as his friends laughed around him. “That’s not- I mean- I wasn’t!” He tried to explain, flustered at how fast his heart was beating.

Even took pity on him. “Isak, I was only kidding.” He pat at Isak’s back, hands slow to move away when Isak had calmed down. Isak took another sip of water to clear his mind. Even smiled. “You wouldn’t even need to apply. I’d take you any chance I get.” He winked at Isak and broke into laughter again when Isak choked a second time.

He was kidding, of course.

He had to be.

Isak watched as Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus laughed along, making jokes about Isak and all of the things that would make him annoying to bond with. Even’s eyes were still bright with mischief, but he let Isak regain his composure, and he let his hands settle closer to Isak’s own than Isak was necessarily comfortable with. If Isak were honest with himself, he was uncomfortable with just how comforting he found Even’s hands to be when they were close.

Isak couldn’t help but remember how Even had spoke of having an ex-girlfriend. Someone he was with to stave off the loneliness of being bondless. Isak laced his fingers together, trying to keep from reaching forward for the hands that were still so close to his own. Even was kidding. He wanted the love of his bond mate, and he was willing to wait to find it. Isak did not have a bond, and he had been the one to choose that. He wouldn’t allow himself to start to feel like he could stake a claim on a man he had no control of his feelings over and no true claim to.

Isak was averse to heartbreak, and as he watched his friends at the lunch table before letting his eyes fall to the man beside him, Isak realized an ultimate truth. Isak had done right to guard his heart. There were people that could hurt it with little effort. And If Isak would let him, someone like Even had all the makings of a man who could break his heart in two.

++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens. Kind of. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Love to get feedback.
> 
> Find me:
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	5. Chapter 5

They had fallen into a rhythm, the group of friends. Jonas, Even and Isak would sit together for literature class, and later Even and Isak for Science. When literature class finished, they would make their way to the food court where they would meet with Magnus and Mahdi, and sometimes Vilde if her friends weren’t about. They would talk and laugh and joke about whatever silly topic they were having a conversation over. They didn’t hang out every day. Each of them had different timetables and different friends to work with those class schedules, but on days when they shared a class, that was how it always ended up.

It was nice, it was easy, and Isak didn’t want it to change.

So of course, it did.

It started in Literature, when Even said he would just need a moment after class to do something. “Don’t worry, I’ll meet you at the lunch table.” He had winked at Isak’s noise of confusion. Isak knew he was frowning, but he let Even go. What was Isak to say but okay?

Even didn’t come to lunch that day though.

And when Isak asked about it, making sure it was casual and nonchalant, he was brushed off with a shrug of shoulders and a sorry. Even’s easy smile and quick change of subject had everyone happy to move on from the topic, but Isak couldn’t shake the little inkling of worry that had crept up within him. He had to let that slide, unless he wanted Even to know just how annoyed it had made him. Isak had no right to be annoyed. He had no reason to be greedy for Even’s time.

“So, where were you?” Isak asked later, when it was just the two of them headed to Science. It was only meant to be a curious question, so Isak hoped Even wouldn’t read the accusation in his tone.

If he did, Even didn’t comment on it. “I just got caught up in a conversation, and before I knew it time had flown by.”

“Oh.” Isak felt something heavy settle in the pit of his stomach. “What was the conversation about?”

Even’s smile was sweet, but his eyes filled with mischief. “A nosey one, are we?” He laughed at Isak’s heated cheeks. “We were just talking about one of the comments in class. Not a big deal.” His eyes lost their mischief when he said seriously, “You didn’t miss out, Isak.”

Isak scratched at his palms. “I didn’t think I did.” He said, annoyed. “You just usually spend time with us after class. Without you to wax poetic about the books we’ve been reading, I had to listen to Magnus talk about Vilde again. It’s like he forgot there are other things in the world besides her.”

Even smirked. “I’m so sorry you had to be put through that, Isak.” He poked at Isak’s cheek, and Isak felt it flame further. “I promise to come to the next one. I wouldn’t ever want you to have to deal with that ever again. Not on your own.”

Isak knew he was being sarcastic, that Even didn’t understand why Isak didn’t like hearing about Magnus, why Isak didn’t like that Even had been gone. But Even had promised he wouldn’t disappear again, even in jest, and it made Isak feel better. “Well, now you have to come to lunch. I’m taking you at your word.”

Even’s smile was softer now. His eyes focused on Isak, as if there weren’t hundreds of students milling about them. “My word is my bond.” His voice was deep; it was sincere.

Isak felt his stomach hollow out at Even’s words. He would never admit it, not out loud, but the feeling was not at all dissimilar to butterflies.

++

Even did come to sit with them after the next literature lesson, but he did not come alone.

“Guys, this is Mikael.”

Isak looked to the stranger that was now at the table. He had long brown hair, golden skin, and warm eyes. He gave off an aura of friendliness immediately. His smile was bright and inviting. And though Isak said nothing as his friends greeted the new addition to the table, he couldn’t help but smile at Mikael when his eyes found Isak’s.

Then, Even gestured to the table. Mikael looked to the spot beside Isak, and the brunet took the seat.

Isak’s smile faded as he watched Even hesitate before taking the seat beside Mikael, where Isak would have to shift his position to be able to see him. A frown developed when Mikael turned so his back was to Isak, cutting off his view of his view of Even entirely.

“Favourite movie, then?” Mikael asked.

“Romeo and Juliet or Pretty Woman.”

Mikael laughed, pushing at Even’s shoulder. “Those are completely opposite spectrums of film. I mean sure they are romances, but most people prefer happy endings or sad ones, not both. You’re ridiculous.”

His laughter was infectious because soon the whole table was laughing with him. Isak stubbornly refused to follow their lead. Mikael rested a hand on Even’s shoulder, laughing in the space between them. He had clearly been wrong in his original assessment of the new addition at the table. Mikael was too kind. If anything, he was overly friendly.

“Let me be ridiculous then. Can you do any better?” Even wasn’t even a bit hurt by Mikael’s words. He looked delighted.

“Obviously. Moulin Rouge. That’s a love story! Funny yet poignant. Things aren’t golden, but the love is real and it doesn’t get off on just being sad to be sad. It’s realistic to the time period. Soul bond against money. Love versus the necessities of life. It even has the same director as Romeo + Juliet. The set design too! It’s beautiful with its costumes and the way everything is shot. A superior film.”

Mikael was just as loud in his movements as Even was. His arms flailed about excitedly, and he leaned back more than once when explaining, taking up Isak’s space and nearly bumping into him. Isak was reminded of the first day Even had come to sit with them. Isak hadn’t liked Even then either. But as Mikael and Even continued to talk without any interest in the rest of the table, Isak found himself more annoyed with Mikael than he had ever felt with Even. And the more that Even laughed and joked with Mikael, the more annoyed Isak felt he was becoming with the both of them. How obnoxious of the two of them, in their own world like that. They hardly even gave the presence of mind to notice the group around them.

“I love Baz Luhrmann!” Even said, mirroring Mikael’s movements. “Are you interested in film too? It’s my major here.”

“Of course I am! The only reason I gave you the time of day after the lit class was because I recognized you from film theory. We’ll have to sit together from now on!”

“Oh my god, yes! I love this.” Even’s hand had snuck around Mikael’s shoulders, pulling him close in a side hug. Mikael reciprocated it easily.

Isak heard his spoon clatter to the table before he realized he had let it drop. He looked down to it, and the mess that his soup had made because of the impact. His shirt was a mess.

He looked up to all eyes on him. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt important conversations.” He joked, but he knew it sounded bitter.

Even had stood up to get napkins to help with the mess and when he returned, he and Mikael attempted to help Isak to wipe the table down.

“Hey, let me help with that.” Mikael smiled, finally having turned away from Even to take notice of the table around him.

“No, it’s okay.” Isak said accepting the napkins but refusing the help. “Talk more about movies you both love. Better yet, boys why don’t you contribute? Jonas talk about some political documentary you’ve just seen. Mahdi is there a movie about food you’ve seen at all recently? Magnus have you created a student film of all your favourite pictures of Vilde set to the wedding march yet? Keep talking and ignore me, I’m just gonna go clean myself up.” Isak left the table to do just that, ignoring the unimpressed looks he was sure to be getting from his friends.

Isak couldn’t help but to turn back to catch a glimpse of Even though, and he just caught the confused look Even was giving him and the shrug he sent Mikael’s way before Isak stormed towards the bathroom.

Isak looked to his ruined shirt, stained from the broth. He dabbed at the stain but knew there would be little he could do to fix the mess. Trying to calm himself, he washed his hands then his face. He would need to chill out before he returned to the table and made a further fool of himself. He didn’t know what had bothered him, though. The conversation isn’t one Isak would take part in normally, so why should he care that he wasn’t included in it? He shook his head, zipping his hoodie to hide his stained shirt, before he made his way out of the bathroom and towards the table he had left in a fit.

He walked slowly, watching the group from afar. Everyone was smiling and he watched Jonas throw his head back in laughter at something Mikael said. Isak felt his stomach tighten, his hands itched, and he fought the urge to turn away from the table again. The urge to ignore the harsh words he had said by leaving the lunch hall entirely. He would go back to his friends, and he would apologise.

Isak watched as Even’s hand settled on Mikael’s shoulder again, as he pulled the brunet in and whispered something to him. He watched how Mikael leaned forward to hear him better. Isak no longer felt like apologizing.

Even was smiling at him when he made it to the table. “Welcome back, grumpy.”

Jonas snorted. “That’s putting it nicely.”

Isak ignored them both, bending to pick up his things and stuff them into his bag.

“What are you doing?” Jonas asked, watching him with furrowed brows.

“I have a class to get to.” Isak said, tone sharp.

Now, it was Even’s turn to look confused. He knew they both usually hung out together until their science lesson, hours later. “But-”

“Really busy. Bye.” Isak refused to acknowledge the table any further. He did feel it when his bag collided with someone’s shoulder though, probably Mikael’s. Isak cringed, knowing that made his tantrum more embarrassing, but once again, he didn’t turn around to apologise.

++

The hours before science were excruciating. Isak sat alone in the corridor waiting.

When Even arrived, shortly before the lesson was due to start, Isak pointedly ignored him. He would sneak peeks when Even wasn’t looking, and Isak felt bad for the way that Even’s lips were downturned, and his eyes were narrowed and pointed when he caught Isak’s gaze. Or at least when he tried to, Isak kept letting his gaze flit away whenever he was caught.

It wasn’t until after the lesson that Even caught Isak out.

“Okay, what happened? Why are you in such a bad mood?” Even asked, letting others stream out the door while he crowded Isak at his seat.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I am in a perfectly wonderful mood Even.” Isak gathered his things and stood, trying to bypass Even as he did.

“Bullshit.” Even had reached out to grab Isak’s arm. Isak stared at the point of contact and startled at how quickly Even released him when he noticed. “What has you so grumpy?”

Isak didn’t want to say. He knew it was petty and ridiculous, but as Even looked at him, eyes earnest, Isak could feel his resolve weakening. “You said you would be there next time. You promised.”

“Isak I was literally there. At the table. With you.” Even’s tone was confused, as if he didn’t understand why Isak would think anything else.

“Physically sure, but I may have as well been a building away. One greeting and then you didn’t even talk to us, you just ignored us at the table!” Isak knew it sounded bitter, he knew he was being silly, but it still hurt.

“You’re seriously pissed because I wasn’t having a conversation with you?” Even ran his hand through his hair, shoulders quivering. It took a moment before Isak realized he was laughing.

Isak slammed past him, and out the door. “Fuck off, Even.”

Even followed, laughing. “Isak! Do you even care about what we were talking about? Do you even have a favourite movie?”

Isak slowed, embarrassed. “Not really. But its not like you even asked! Mikael joins the table and neither of you include us in the conversation?” He had to make it seem like it wasn’t about him. Like he wasn’t just annoyed that Even had ignored him. “How is Mikael going to feel that you didn’t want him to talk to the others? How are we supposed to make friends?”

Even caught up to him, he took Isak’s arm again, to stop him walking completely. “I can see how that might look to you… I think.” He didn’t let go when Isak tried to pull his arm away. “But Isak, you didn’t talk to me at all the first couple times I sat with you. I thought I was doing you a favour by keeping the conversation light. Just so you know, we did talk to everyone else when you disappeared, and Mikael asked about you. It’s not like we know what you’re thinking half the time anyways.”

Isak was still upset, but he knew he was being a child. It probably wasn’t fair to be mad that Even and Mikael didn’t immediately start holding a conversation with everyone, especially with how well known it was that Isak was not the best with first meetings. “Fine. I may have behaved a bit badly, only a bit mind you. I’m just a creature of habit and you didn’t give me enough warning.”

Even rolled his eyes. “Right. That was unkind of me. I promise that I’ll ask you every question first and warn you if something new is happening when I know.”

Isak felt the guilt and embarrassment at his actions. He was behaving like a child, and everyone knew it, himself included. He really had over reacted. “I’m sorry, okay? I was being an ass. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you have every right to have any conversation you want without warning me. I get it. I was embarrassing.”

Even nodded, easily enough. “You were, but I forgive you.”

Isak pushed at his shoulder, breaking their hands apart. He hadn’t realized they were still touching. “Thanks.” He whispered. “I promise to be nicer next time, and just talk to you instead of blowing up.”

Even smiled again, slipping his hands into his back pockets. “I don’t know if I can trust those promises. I don’t think there will be a day you don’t blow up on something silly. But I know once the haze of annoyance lifts, you’ll talk it out with me. If only we can work together to have the conversation come before the annoyance. I might like you better that way, but nobody’s perfect.”

“Shut up!” Isak started walking again, ignoring Even’s squawk when he left him standing alone.

++

The next time they sat for lunch, Isak was pleased to note that Even sat before Mikael, taking the seat next to Isak almost unthinkingly. Even paused mid word, smiling at Isak easily, before he turned back to Mikael and their conversation. Even was already in Isak’s space as he moved about eagerly, leaning back and grabbing at Isak’s shoulder to ensure he was listening. After all, they were now in a debate about Even’s favourite subject.

Isak watched them talk, excited and happy. He felt better than the last time they had sat together, calmer and less volatile. With distance, Isak could tell he had been harsh in his judgement of Mikael, and as he watched him talk to Even, Isak was frustrated with himself at the reason why. He just couldn’t help but find something about Mikael’s presence worrying.

“Hey you okay?” Even reached across the table, tapping at the tray in front of Isak, very close to his hand.

Isak pulled his hand away quickly, wincing at the look of confusion on Even’s face. He shrugged noncommittally. “Sure.” He said, quiet.

Even didn’t take his eyes from him, searching Isak for some sort of clue as to his feelings. Isak looked away.

“Okay.” Even said, nodding his head and turning back to the conversation with Mikael. Even opened his mouth to take part in the conversation but turned to Isak one more time. “You can tell me, you know.”

Isak sat straighter as he looked into Even’s serious eyes. “Yeah.” He agreed.

Even nodded again. “Okay.” He smiled. Then he dived into his conversation with Mikael.

“It’s the accomplishment of it all, really.” Even said, once again caught up in a conversation of soul bonds and literature. “That’s why the journey trope is so popular. The harder it is to reach, the sweeter the treasure of finding your soulmate is.”

“We love a romantic.” Mikael teased from across the table.

It’s something Isak would have said, making fun of Even’s romantic tendencies. But from Mikael’s lips it felt too personal, Isak couldn’t help the frown working on his lips.

“Do you think you feel different? Like they say in the stories.” Jonas asked from beside Mikael.

Isak had never seen Jonas take so much interest in a soul bond conversation unless it was to criticize biased opinions. The way he spoke was so earnest, not even a hint of sarcasm in his usually stoic tone.

Mikael shrugged, and even that felt friendly. “I don’t have my bond yet, so I wouldn’t know.”

“They say when you know, you know.” Even added, though it was more conciliatory than helpful. “Magnus did you feel different?”

Magnus perked up, excited to have the chance to speak of Vilde without having to bring up the topic himself no doubt. “I knew in high school, so I can’t really remember. I mean did I feel different? More than she did, I guess. Mostly I just felt certain. I knew Vilde would be important. I don’t know if I felt that coming though.”

“Hmm.” Jonas looked to his hands. He studied his fingers where a red thread connected him to his soulmate. One that only he could see; it’s burden falling only on his shoulders. “We put so much emphasis on our soulmates. I want to work on me. I want to make sure I am benefitting the world, not just some person that has been predetermined.”

“Whose to say that person won’t help you be better?” Mikael asked.

Everything about Mikael was kind. No words from his mouth were said in malice. Though he joked and teased, it was sweet and never bitter on his tongue. Isak hated that his instinct was to be worried about him. There was nothing to dislike. Isak wished Mikael made it easier to explain Isak’s frustration with him. But he was frustrated, there was no doubt of that.

Jonas turned to Mikael with a nervous smile. “You think?”

Mikael nodded. “The universe doesn’t provide you bad people. You’ve chosen so many good friends.” He paused gesturing to the occupants of the table, as even Isak smiled at the compliment. “How could you possibly have a bad bond mate when your taste is clearly impeccable?”

Jonas smiled wide for the first time that day, his nervous energy finally dissipating. “I mean not that great. I kind of got stuck with Isak.” He sent Isak a smirk. Isak sent him a middle finger in return.

Mikael laughed. “I didn’t want to single anyone out.” It was a light tease, but Isak frowned heavily. “But seriously, if so many of you here like him, he must be a good guy under all the frowning.”

Even laughed, putting his arm around Isak and pulling him close. “Our Isak hides under frowns and grumpiness. Secretly, he’s pure sunshine.”

Mikael’s smile was soft, but his gaze was sharp. “Really?”

Isak didn’t like that tone. He didn’t like the way Mikael’s eyes searched his. He shrugged off Even’s arm, acting as if he wanted to search his bag as an excuse for the movement. Even looked to him but didn’t say anything of the action.

“Are you okay with me asking about this later?” Jonas asked, returning to the conversation they had been having.

Mikael turned to look at Jonas beside him, and Isak let out a breath of relief. “Sure.” He smiled.

They were like complete opposites. When Mikael smiled, all Isak wanted to do was frown.

++

“It’s just a fact that Pretty Woman is better than Romeo and Juliet.” Mikael said, pausing to smile at everyone in greeting.

Even sputtered. “You said yourself that they are completely different movies! You can’t compare them!”

Isak couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped at Even’s angry reply.

“Why are you laughing? I’m right!” Even glared at Isak, but it held no heat.

“You’re just so worked up. I’m sorry. You two are arguing over chick flicks.” But Isak was still struggling to hold back his smile.

Isak may have been tricking himself, but he could have sworn he saw Even deflate a little, a smile sneaking onto his face that he tried to smother immediately.

“Aha!” Mikael said from across the table, where he had settled, finger pointing accusingly at Isak. “You can settle this then. Which is better? Pretty Woman or Romeo and Juliet?”

“I’m not saying one is better! It’s just that you can’t compare them. One is a century old tale of star crossed lovers that ends in tragedy. The other is a comedic look at the blooming relationship between a wealthy man and the impoverished woman who has had to turn to the streets to survive, and it has a happy ending. They aren’t comparable.”

“Bull shit. You can compare anything if you put your heart to it, and Pretty Woman is better. You’re just bitter because you waxed poetic about the acting and cinematography in Romeo and Juliet the talents of Leo as an actor. When in reality you just think he is hot. Own it and move on. Isak will let us know which one is better. He’s the deciding vote.” Mikael stuck his tongue out at a sputtering Even.

“Fine. Isak?” Even looked to him, it was as if Isak’s opinion was the most important thing in the world.

“I haven’t seen either.” Isak admitted. “But from your description, Pretty Woman sounds a lot more interesting.” He ignored Mikael’s squeal of success, and pat Even’s back when he released a dramatic upset wail as he fell forward. “Stop being dramatic. I just think it sounds funnier. No one needs to watch people dying.”

Even lifted from the table. “See this is why its unfair to compare them! Isak is secretly a sweetheart, so he doesn’t want to watch upsetting themes. He is a biased viewer.”

“I would have thought you were a sweetheart before I ever saw Isak as one. Yet apparently tragedies and upsetting deaths are your sweet spot in film.” Jonas said from beside them.

“I am an enigma.” Even sniffed. “Isak wears his sweetness on his sleeve.”

“Does he know a different Isak?” Mahdi asked out loud. Isak threw a fry at him.

“He’s just trying to throw you guys off his scent.” Mikael said. He leaned forward to poke at Even’s cheek. “I’m sure Isak is marshmallows, but Even is sugar personified. He only watches sad films to look tough and knowledgeable, but no one is buying it, sweetheart.”

Even made an obnoxious sound, mockingly blowing a kiss at Mikael from where he sat. “Who’s the sweet talker now?”

Mikael laughed leaning back.

Isak knew it was a joke, but it reminded him so thoroughly of their joking exchange from early last week. Even being friendly, winking at Isak and flirting. Isak’s drink turned sour on his tongue. There was something about the way that Even and Mikael interacted, that didn’t sit right with Isak, but he couldn’t say what.

“Everything okay there, marshmallow?” Even had placed his hand on Isak’s shoulder. He could feel the weight brushing back and forth on his back. Rather than providing comfort, Isak only remembered that that hand had just waved a kiss in Mikael’s direction, that that nickname had come from Mikael’s mouth first.

Isak shrugged off the arm around him. “Peachy.” He knew he sounded irritated, and that he had promised Even to try to talk to him before blowing up on them, so he tried to change the topic. “Anyways Even is right. I haven’t seen Romeo and Juliet, so I can’t actually say which is better.”

Even crowed with victory. “He hasn’t seen it! Oh! You haven’t seen it. Isak, we should watch it together, sometime.” He turned his bright smile on Isak.

But Isak was still annoyed with him. “Maybe you should watch it with Mikael.” He suggested.

Mikael leaned further back in his seat. “No, thank you. That can be bonding time for you two. I’ll watch Pretty Woman with Even. Teach him the finer things in life.” He looked to Isak. Isak didn’t know what his face showed, but the smirk on Mikael’s lips fell. “Or like, you can come as well. We can both show him what good films look like.”

“No thanks.” Isak said, hoping his tone came off like Mikael’s earlier, breezy and uncaring. He hoped no one noticed the way his fists were clenched beneath the table. “Wouldn’t want to break up buddy bonding time.” He tried to joke.

It must not have succeeded because the table descended into an awkward quiet at that. Normally Isak would look down in embarrassment, look away from where he had been caught out by his tone, but Mikael was still looking at him with a gaze more curious than offended. It felt a bit like a challenge so Isak refused to look away from the brunet in front of him. His stare only broke when one of the others at the table spoke up.

“I like watching the Avengers, can’t we do a group watch of that?” Magnus asked.

++

“What’s your plans after class today?” Isak asked the table on a Thursday. It was quieter than usual, Even and Mikael missing, and Isak took the moment to ask his friends for a chance to hang out. It had been too long. “I’m thinking beer and xbox?”

“I’m in.” Mahdi said. “I feel like we haven’t even really got a chance to hang just the four of us since high school.”

“Shit, you’re right.” Magnus said, resting his chin on his hand. “I’ll try to talk to Vilde. I’m sure she won’t mind me ditching her if it means she can spend the night with her friends.”

“Great.” Isak said, as all eyes turned to Jonas. “And you?”

“Uh...” Jonas scratched at the back of his neck. “I kind of already said I’d study with Mikael for that poli-sci class we share together. We have a test coming up. But maybe after?”

Isak’s shoulders slumped. It felt like forever since he had got to spend time with his best friend, and the short walks between classes just wasn’t feeling like enough anymore. “Sure. Whatever.”

Mahdi placed a hand on Isak’s shoulder. “Do you still really like Jonas more than me? I said I’d come so I don’t think you should be looking all sad. Besides we could invite Even, and it would feel like there is a cooler Jonas there anyways.”

“Fuck off.” Jonas laughed.

The group joined as Isak pulled out his phone to do just as Mahdi suggested.

_Predrink and gaming at mine tonight?_

Even: _You have no idea how badly I want to say yes and see how your room looks._

_Is that a no?_

Even: _I told my Mom I’d help her tonight. Can probably come after._

_You suck._

Even: _I have been told I am skilled at that yes._

_Even._

Even _: Kidding._

Even: _Mikael says he has plans with Jonas._

_Yeah, Jonas said. He sucks too._

Even: _Hopefully not as well._

Even _: Kidding._

_So I’ll see you tonight?_

Even _: I couldn’t say no to seeing you Isak._

Even: _I bet your room still looks like you’re in high school. Dirty and shit._

_Fuck you._

Even _: Promises, promises._

“Even has plans, but he said he’ll come after.” Isak told the table. He hoped his warm cheeks weren’t noticeable to his friends.

“Sweet.” Mahdi said, as Magnus nodded in agreement.

Isak spend the rest of his evening thinking about how he would have to clean his room to prove Even’s words wrong.

++

It was 22:14 and still only Magnus and Mahdi had shown up to the dorm. Isak was trying to have fun, but his mood was souring by the minute as he nursed a warm beer.

He glanced to his phone where it had yet to light up with a message from either Jonas or Even. They said that would try, but it annoyed Isak nonetheless that they really were ditching him.

At least Mahdi and Magnus were finding entertainment in the night as they hollered every time they scored on each other.

“Dude, it happens. You missed Magnus’ birthday once. You don’t get to be annoyed at them when they gave you warning.” Mahdi said, ever the voice of reason.

And he was right. Isak had no reason to be annoyed with his friends, but he was. He knew that Even was with his mother so he was forgiven, but Jonas was only studying. There was no reason for him to be ignoring Isak’s messages.

Isak opened the messages for what felt like the hundredth time that night to see there was still no reply. He changed tactics and opened his Instagram to see what others were up to. He ignored his notifications and scrolled through his timeline. It wasn’t long before he came across a post by Sana’s brother.

“Those fuckers.” It came out harsh, but Isak didn’t care. He couldn’t help the fury building within him.

“What?” Magnus asked.

Isak flipped his phone in their direction to show his friends the video Elias had shared. Jonas, Mikael, and Even at a party. The were in a crowd of people screaming and yelling and they looked like they were having the best time.

“What the fuck.” Mahdi said, voice as annoyed as Isak’s.

“Why weren’t we invited?” Magnus asked, let down.

“Fuck those guys.” Isak spat.

The night was spent trying to get a hold of their friends with no luck.

++

The next day made for an awkward reconnection.

“Did you guys enjoy the fifa and beer?” Jonas asked to the quiet table. He was met with silence. His gaze shifted about awkwardly from one friend to another. He flinched at Isak’s glare. “Everything okay?”

The group continued to stay quiet.

“It’s a bit frosty out here.” Mikael said, joining the group with Even in tow. “What happened?”

Mikael moved towards the seat next to Isak, but stopped short when Even moved quickly ahead to take the seat. Even jostled Isak’s shoulder, perky in his happiness. He soon slowed when he caught the mood of the table. “Why are we upset?”

Mahdi spoke first. “We had a good time at Isak’s yesterday.”

“Did you guys enjoy your party?” Isak added, shifting his gaze from Even to Jonas.

“I would have enjoyed the party. It looked fun.” Magnus added, eyes sad.

“Fuck.” Jonas breathed out quietly.

Even looked to Isak pleadingly. “We can explain.”

Mikael started laughing, all eyes swung to him. “How did you guys even hear about it? It was with my old friend.”

“If your old friend is Elias Bakkoush, then we know his sister. I spent a lot of projects at Sana’s house.” Isak bit out. Why wasn’t Mikael at least apologetic?

“No way.” Mikael smiled. “Small world.” He seemed to realise that his words were not welcomed. “Isak we sent you a message.”

Isak’s brow furrowed. “I didn’t get a text.” He would know, he spent the night waiting for Even’s text. And Jonas’.

“Not a text. I sent you a message request over Instagram. You should really follow me back by the way.” Mikael tore into his lunch.

“What?” Isak opened the app to check Mikael’s story himself. Mahdi took his phone from his hand to check himself. “Why didn’t either of you text one of us?”

“My phone died.” Even told them. “I wouldn’t have even been out with them on, if I hadn’t run in to them at the store. I wanted to go to yours, but I didn’t know the address.”

“Oh that makes sense.” Magnus said easily. He seemed to have forgiven the others already.

“He’s not even kidding.” Mikael informed them. “Even is the one who messaged you through my phone. Knew your username by heart. Couldn’t remember yours though.” He told Mahdi and Magnus.

Isak felt his cheeks heat at Mikael’s teasing tone, but he didn’t feel too bad when he looked up to see Even’s cheeks had warmed too.

“Okay. I accept the unfortunate turn of events for you two, but what is your excuse?” Mahdi asked Jonas.

“Boy was drunk.” Mikael laughed.

“Couldn’t even walk straight.” Even added.

“It was impressive.” Mikael placed a comforting hand on Jonas’ slumped shoulders.

“A bit worrying too.” Even said.

When Isak looked to Jonas he couldn’t deny how pale he looked. “Why?”

Jonas shrugged, the usually easy movement forced and stilted. “Just feel off. Like somethings about to happen. I don’t like it.”

Isak watched his friend, the coolness, the easygoing nature that he usually exuded lost to the emotions he couldn’t deny inside him. Isak felt more than ever, that Jonas and he were friends because of their similarities. It just that they usually dealt with their feelings differently.

“So drunk Jonas couldn’t call us?” Magnus asked, lightening the dour mood of the table.

“He couldn’t get his face recognised on the screen, and when we tried to ask his passcode, he actually ended up getting us locked out of his phone.” Mikael said.

“Then he shut it off on us because we kept trying to ‘steal his identity.’ Or something like that.” Even added.

They accepted the explanation provided to them. Listening as Even and Mikael went back and forth explaining the events of the night. The tension eased, and all too easily Isak found himself invested in Even’s recounting of the night. He just couldn’t help but notice Jonas was upset.

“We should meet up. Just the two of us.” Isak said to him, quiet as Mikael spoke to the rest of the table.

Jonas looked at him, tired and uncomfortable. “Yeah. I think I need my mind off things.”

“Okay.” Isak nodded.

“You never invite me out alone, Isak.” Even joked as he elbowed Isak’s side.

Isak turned to him, eyebrow raised. “Going out with people alone means you like them a lot. You don’t even come when I invite you with my friends.” He accused.

Even placed his hands over his heart, mouth open in an exaggerated show of pain. “Ouch, Isak. I really am sorry about that. I wanted to come.”

Isak considered him. Even didn’t seem to be lying at all. “Well maybe some other time you’ll be lucky enough.” He joked.

“A man can dream.” Even replied. He didn’t seem to be joking at all.

++

_Jonas: Are you free this weekend?_

_Can be._

_Jonas: Beer and kebab? Maybe a chat?_

_You’re paying._

_Jonas: See you Saturday._

++

“You know, you should come over this weekend. To make up for last weekend. We can watch something, and it doesn’t need to be Romeo and Juliet. We can make it the two of us, make this friendship official. After all, you said that’s how we know that we actually like each other.” Even said to him later.

Isak looked to him, to his blue eyes wide and inviting, like his words. “That sounds nice, Even, but I’m hanging with Jonas this weekend. We’ve missed out on best bud time.” He could see how Even’s shoulders fell and felt guilty at the thrill of happiness that it sent through him. “Rain check?”

“Yeah… sure.” Even smiled, but it wasn’t the sunshine it usually was.

++

When it hit 15:00 and Isak had still not heard from Jonas, his mild annoyance had morphed into full blown frustration. He opened his phone to their texts, taking a seat on his bed.

_Where the fuck are you?_

Jonas: _Ok, so SOS_

_What the hell is happening?_

Jonas: _I can’t meet up right now_

Jonas: _It’s kind of big so I won’t explain over text._

Jonas: _I’ll call you though?_

_Jonas what am I supposed to do now?_

Jonas: _Sorry. Hang with your mom?_

_I hate you._

He changed chats.

_So, I’m suddenly available. Jonas sucks._

Even: _Oh!_

Even: _That’s great_

Even: _You can come over and meet us here?_

Even: _Mikael was free, so it’ll have to be a comedy we watch._

Isak looked at the message. He had yet to open it so that it could register he had read it, and he didn’t know if he wanted to. Even was hanging out with Mikael. On a Saturday. Alone. Even really liked Mikael.

Even: _Isak? You coming over?_

Isak left the messages unread. Turning his phone off, he pulled his bed covers over his head and closed his eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sensitivity warnings in the end notes!

“Hey.” Even greeted, taking a seat beside Isak in the hallway before their class. “Didn’t see you Saturday, did something come up?”

Isak smiled tightly, before turning his attention back to his open notebook. “Sorry, Jonas ended up showing up, and I couldn’t leave. Didn’t mean to leave you hanging.”

Even was looking at him, eyebrow raised skeptically. “It’s totally cool. Hopefully, we can actually meet up next time we’re both available. Jonas has to stop being so wishy-washy.”

Isak’s cheeks heated. “Yeah. I’ll tell him to get his act together.”

“Good. Because I want to hang out with you when we agree to, and I don’t want to be let down again.”

Isak couldn’t read any insincerity in Even’s eyes, in the way they didn’t look away from him or his searching gaze. “Okay. No let downs.”

Even smiled. “No let downs.”

The door opened and, as the previous class filed out, Isak felt Even take hold of his hand to navigate the crowd until they reached their usual seats. The room emptied, but Even didn’t drop Isak’s hand until they were sitting. Isak clenched his empty fingers, aching for the heat that had engulfed them mere moments ago. He took out his notes for something to do, scratching at the itch in his hand with Even’s stolen pencil.

Even spent the majority of their class doodling.

Isak knew that Even was happy to let Isak take notes and would simply ask for help when projects or tests were given. It was more work for Isak, but he didn’t mind it.

Even would periodically rip out a page from his notes and send the doodle in Isak’s direction. One of Even waiting for Isak to text, sitting bored on his bed. One of Mikael’s text _, that’s it I’m coming over._ One of Even smiling at Isak’s text about coming over. One of him frowning when he gets no reply.

Isak took each doodle, folded it nicely and placed it in the part of his bag that had become the space for Even’s drawings.

He didn’t say anything, but that was alright, because neither did Even.

++

They were the first to the table that had become their home base in the food court.

Isak enjoyed how it felt to have Even’s full attention on him. Even when they were discussing silly, inconsequential things. He liked how Even smiled wide or acted shocked when Isak said something funny or teased him. He liked how Even pulled him closer when he laughed, arms reaching for Isak’s shoulders or hand. He liked when he saw how focused Even could become, how serious and stoic he was when he looked in Isak’s eyes, or at his hands, or sometimes at his mouth. Isak was never sure what Even’s gaze meant, but he found he liked it all the same.

Even did everything wholly. He didn’t hide his feelings or his thoughts, and though Isak never felt that he was particularly skilled at reading people, he felt like he had moments of understanding Even better than anyone else at the table. Isak liked it immensely.

He didn’t like how that spotlight shifted when Mikael was present. It wasn’t that Even didn’t give Isak attention, it was that Mikael demanded it from Even. It irked Isak in a way it didn’t when it was Magnus or Mahdi that stole Even’s gaze from Isak. Isak didn’t know why Mikael irked him so, but Isak couldn’t help but watch how Even looked at him, smiled so easily and spoke so comfortably. He didn’t like how Even would pull at Mikael’s shoulders, let his eyes rest on Mikael’s face, how his cheeks would redden when he caught Mikael’s gaze on him once he pulled away from Isak. Mikael was always watching them, his eyes calculating. Isak couldn’t read it, but Even seemed to know what Mikael was saying explicitly. They shared some unknown language between the two of them, they understood each other so well, and Isak couldn’t understand how they seemed to just click.

In fact, he was so caught up in watching the two laugh together, that he didn’t notice Jonas sidle up to him.

“Isak.” Jonas cringed at the jump his sudden outburst caused, looking apologetic. “Can I talk to you?”

Isak looked at his friend, unimpressed, before turning away to take another bite of his sandwich.

He could hear Jonas sigh. “Look Isak, I’m sorry I ditched you this weekend, but something big happened and I kind of really want to talk to my best friend about it.”

Isak pushed himself up and pulled Jonas from the table. He didn’t look at the eyes following them, but he knew Even’s would be on him. Afterall, Jonas had just outed Isak as a liar. “Fine. Let’s go that way.” And he pulled Jonas out of the food hall, and into the outdoors. “What’s your problem?”

Now that he was looking at his friend closely, Jonas really didn’t look like he was his usual calm and collected self. His skin was pale and his hair a mess. He looked wild with excitement. “Are you okay?” He asked the brunet.

“No. Yes. No.” Jonas ran his hand through his hair, trying to find where to begin. “I found my bond mate.”

Isak felt as if his jaw hit his chest. It wasn’t often he was left speechless, but by the look Jonas was returning, he wasn’t alone. The two shared a long look until Isak regained his ability to think in long sentences. “What?”

Okay. Perhaps they both weren’t quite composed.

“I know.” Jonas ran his hand through his hair, paying no mind to when it caught in his messy curls. “So hopefully you can stop being an ass about this weekend?”

Isak deflated. “Start from the beginning.”

“So, I was out at the grocery store getting some snacks for our hang and I ran in to Eva.”

“It’s Eva?” Isak asked, incredulous. It had been years since the two dated, and they had decided that they would stop trying after their second time didn’t work out.

“Can I tell my story?”

“Okay, but do I know the person?”

“Okay, but can I tell the story?” Isak could see how Jonas looked more comfortable, his shoulders less tense as he leaned into the building beside him. Isak gestured for him to continue, and Jonas let his legs buckle beneath him, sagging fully into the wall as he let gravity drag him to the floor. “So, I saw Eva, and we got to talking… you know just the casual hey how are you and all that. But Eva wasn’t alone. She was with all the girls, so I felt like an ass not saying hi to them too. So, one by one I’m saying hi to Chris, then to Sana, I asked Vilde how things were going with Magnus, and then I turned to Noora. The thought just hits me, right in my chest, full force. She’s beautiful Isak. And I already knew that, so I don’t know why it hit like that. She stood there in jeans and a t-shirt, hair a mess, and the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. And my hand was itching. It itched like crazy Isak. I’ve never so wanted to not feel, it itched so bad. So, I looked down, and she did too. And right there, on her finger connecting to mine, was a thin red thread.”

He quietened, heaving as if he had run a mile he had spoken so quickly. Isak reached forward, rubbing his best friend’s shoulders. “Jonas… but we know Noora. How did it take so long for you to notice?”

“I don’t know! I mean, we have a poli-sci course together, and it has meant we have been together a lot more than back in high school. We’re the only too that know each other, besides Mikael, but we haven’t really interacted. I mean we’ve gotten into debates, and she makes some amazing arguments Isak, like I’ve never thought to look at things from that perspective before, but I never thought that meant anything. We never were particularly close. Even though my thread has been getting shorter for a while, I didn’t think it meant that it was coming. Not now.”

They sat there, quiet, shoulders slumped, both thinking of what having a bond mate would mean for Jonas.

“So, what did you do?” Isak asked quietly.

“Well, we both kind of freaked out. She said she needed to go home, and I felt like that was the best idea I had heard all day. So I went home, I answered your texts and canceled, and I had a meltdown. That brings us to today.”

“Meltdown? Why?”

“Isak. I spent years arguing that the bond wasn’t worth everything, that who you are with does not change you as a person. And then I find out I have Noora and I’m over the moon. I don’t even know how to explain how happy it made me. It’s like I’ve failed you. You’re still whole. I shouldn’t feel so happy about this.” Jonas looked genuinely sorry about it, like he had hurt Isak in some way.

“Jonas, no.” Isak still didn’t know how to react. He blinked several times, trying to rid his mind of the fog within it. “You deserve this happiness. It has nothing to do with me. Congratulations. I’m happy for you Jonas.”

Jonas head fell back to the wall behind him, but Isak didn’t miss the small smile that broke out upon his lips. “I have a bond mate.”

“You have a bond mate.” Isak felt a laugh break out, and Jonas followed suit shortly after. “Let’s go back inside.”

## ++

The uproar that Jonas’ news created around the table was deafening. There was so much excitement and movement, that Isak excused himself for sitting back and taking it in. He watched the back pats, the shoulder shakes, and the high fives. He watched how Magnus pulled out his phone to take a shaky video of his friends. He watched how Even and Mikael joined into the laughter as much as his friends that had known Jonas since high school. Everyone was genuinely happy for Jonas.

Isak was too. He was. But he couldn’t get it out of his head that he now had two friends with soul bonds and one that wanted one badly. Isak focused on Even, he didn’t look sad or like he was trying to play up his happiness. His personal situation didn’t affect his happiness for Jonas.

That made Isak feel like a bad friend. Here he was actively fighting against his bond to the point he lost it, and he had his friend supporting him in that action unknowingly. Jonas fought for others to not see the bond as everything because he wanted Isak to feel like he was whole without it. Isak was letting down the people at this table, the ones who cared and loved for each other even when circumstances might be personally painful.

Isak became suddenly embarrassed, scratching at his hands as he watched the table laugh and joke. He was selfish. He was a selfish person, and he didn’t know how to change that.

++

Isak excused himself from the table with the excuse of needing a drink. He walked aimlessly about the food court, under the guise of trying to decide what to buy, but secretly hoping for a moment to himself.

Jonas had found his soulmate. In Noora. It was a shock to say the least. The two had known each other for years, but Isak couldn’t help but think about how they had not interacted much in high school. They wouldn’t have suited each other then, with Jonas being so focused on fighting the system and trying to change the people who he talked to, and Noora so focused on self destruction in the form of a boyfriend who brought out the worst in her. Isak knew Noora from his time living with her, and she would not have taken to Jonas as her bond mate lightly.

But as he thought to them now, he couldn’t help but think how well suited they were. Both so bright eyed and hopeful about how the world could improve. Jonas had lost his cynicism of the world in general and the people within it. Noora had found herself and the kindness she so desperately desired to spread to those around her. Part of Isak wanted to see the two of them interact, to see how being soul bonded changed them, but he was scared what that might mean as well.

“So… Jonas showed up on Saturday?”

Even’s voice startled Isak out of his thoughts, causing him to jump and nearly lose his hold on the can in his hand. “Even!”

Even laughed. “Sorry.” He said, placing a comforting hand on Isak’s shoulder, and reaching to grab the can with his other one.

Isak found his hand clenching onto empty air. “It’s cool.” He ran the now empty hand through his hair.

“You lied to me Isak.” Even reminded him, joining Isak in the line to pay for the drink.

Isak winced. “Okay, so I wasn’t really in the mood after Jonas ditched me. Besides, I thought it would be rude to interrupt bonding time with you and Mikael.”

Even pulled a face. “Bonding time.” He scoffed. “Isak I enjoyed spending time with Mikael, but I wanted to spend time with you.”

Isak ignored the light feeling in his chest. “You’re spending time with me now.” He deflected.

Even laughed. “And it’s like pulling teeth. I’m chasing you for a hang out, and you are running every chance you get. Isak, we’re friends right?”

Isak looked to his hands, embarrassed by how they trembled at Even’s sincere question. He was happy he wasn’t holding the can so that it wasn’t obvious. “Of course we’re friends, Even. I want to hang out with you.”

“Are you sure?” The question was timid, but Even’s smile was bright. “Because I find you very hard to read sometimes Isak, you’re like a book in a different language that I only understand some of the words of.”

Isak felt his cheeks heat. “That’s part of the charm.”

Even smiled wider. “I do feel charmed sometimes.”

Isak couldn’t look away from that smile. “Only sometimes?” He asked.

Even shrugged, turning to the cashier and paying for Isak’s drink. “I don’t get enough time with you to really know.”

“That’s because you hang out with Mikael all the time.” Isak muttered. His cheeks grew hotter when Even looked to him in confusion. He had not meant to be heard.

“You should have been there too.” Even said, just as quiet. And by the red of Even’s cheeks, Isak thought that maybe he was not meant to hear that either.

++

By luck or coincidence, Jonas was absent from their next literature class, and Mikael had already texted Even to get notes because he would be late to classes that day. That meant that Isak and Even were alone in the class. Isak took notes diligently, as Even spent the period intermittently sending Isak doodles or questions about lunch and arguing with the professor and students over the themes in their latest classic literary masterpiece.

Isak would be lying if he said he didn’t spend those moments looking in awe at Even and letting his notes lie temporarily forgotten until the professor could reign in the conversation to a more neutral topic. He had also taken some moments to look at the drawings of Isak and Even with pizza, which was then scratched out to be fries, and finally scratched out to be cheese on toast.

When lesson finished, Even let out a loud yawn and stretched out his arm until he hit Isak’s shoulder with a smile. “Arguing always makes me hungry, what are we having?”

Isak raised an eyebrow in Even’s direction. “The same thing we have every time? I brought a yoghurt from home.”

Even’s gaze turned pleading. “I’ll pay Isak. Please let’s get something good.”

Who was Isak to say no to that offer?

++

It was like some cosmic interference.

Even had bought a pizza and drinks for them to split, and they made their way to the lunch hall with no intentions of sharing with Magnus and Mahdi. But they hadn’t needed to worry because neither boy had been present when they had arrived. Twenty minutes later, and Isak was still sat at the table with only Even for company as they fought for the best slices.

Even kept pushing at Isak’s shoulders or holding his hands back when he reached for a slice, but somehow Isak always got the slice he wanted in the end, no matter how long Even held him back. Isak would make fun of Even’s bad luck, but Even always seemed more amused by Isak’s words than annoyed.

“You seriously suck at getting food. How can you be this bad?” Isak asked Even around a bite of the last slice. “You’re epically bad. I’m like a god at this. I deserve something for winning.”

Even laughed, leaning back in his chair. He had still chosen to sit next to Isak even though the table was empty. “Oh yeah? What prize would you like?”

Isak looked about the space for any idea, it was crowded but quiet. “Maybe you can use that big mouth of yours to sing my praises? Let everyone know how much better I am than you. Tell them I’m a god.” He said jokingly.

Even cocked his head as he regarded Isak before he opened his mouth to speak. “Everyone!” He shouted.

Isak lurched forward to cover Even’s mouth with his hand, embarrassed at the eyes that had fallen to him. “Even! I was kidding.” Even’s eyes sparkled with amusement, and it took Isak a moment to remember he was in his space. Isak’s chair squeaked at the speed with which he pushed it back to regain a sense of composure. “Were you really going to just yell out?”

Even shrugged his shoulders. “Well I can’t sing, so it was that or try rapping.”

“You would have rapped about me?” Isak laughed, falling more comfortably into his chair.

“All the best raps are about how cool the rapper is, so it could have worked.” Even reasoned.

“Like Biggie or Tupac?”

Even looked to him, impressed. “Yeah. Or like Nas.” Even just caught Isak’s look of confusion. “Oh my god, you don’t know Nas?”

Isak shrugged his shoulders, excited by Even’s own interest in his words as he began to rummage through his bag. “I didn’t know you listen to rap...”

Even looked up from his bag and into Isak’s eyes. His hands clenched around a pair of headphones. “We are listening to rap. Right now.”

Isak smiled, charmed by Even’s excitement. He accepted the earphone offered, leaning forward to watch Even’s phone screen as he navigated it. “Okay, what weird thing are you going to show me?”

Even waggled his eyebrows and pressed play.

Isak sat rooted to the spot as the words flowed smoothly against the beat. He was mesmerised, by both the words flitting quickly across his mind as he tried to make out the English words and their subtlety, and by Even’s bobbing shoulders as he mouthed the words along with the rapper. Isak couldn’t help but move to Even’s rhythm as they listened to the song together.

Isak listened to each song Even played, and he listened intently to Even’s explanations of Nas’ intent behind each lyric, who he was dissing and why. He hadn’t even noticed at first that Even had moved closer, how their shoulders were touching and how Even’s hand kept returning to Isak’s knee to tap the rhythm.

“Isn’t this cozy?” A voice called out from in front of them.

Even startled backwards, pulling himself and the earphones from Isak’s side and leaving him alone.

Mikael was watching them with sharp eyes and a soft smirk. “Enjoying bonding time?” He asked.

Isak frowned. Even’s shoulders were tight and there was a blush on his cheeks. He took hold of his second earphone, the one that Isak had been using, and offered it to Mikael. “Want to listen to some Nas?”

Mikael snorted, but he took the earbud to listen for a moment. Isak couldn’t keep the frown from deepening on his face.

“Not really my thing.” Mikael mused, letting the earphone fall and taking one of the empty seats. “So, what did I miss?”

Even launched into a conversation about their literacy class. Whatever quiet had been at the table previously, had been shattered by Mikael’s entrance.

Isak was left to wonder why he resented it so much.

## ++

With Jonas and Noora’s bond newly formed, they were spending more time together to get to know each other. This meant Jonas was spending less time with his friends. This in turn meant that Isak did not have a buffer to take his mind off of the friendship of the century that was Mikael and Even.

He watched the two, excitedly discussing the gossip and everyone’s impending happiness.

“Have you found your soul bond Mikael?” Magnus asked, interrupting to the two mid rant.

Isak perked up at the question. It was the first time that he was actually excited by a conversation started by Magnus.

“No.” Mikael said, turning back to the conversation he had been having with Even.

Isak’s shoulders fell, that was the smallest amount of words out of Mikael’s mouth since they had met. Usually he would be happy for the brunet’s silence, but he was hoping there would have been a different answer to that.

Isak wasn’t alone in noting the brunet’s unusual quiet however, because Even soon spoke. “Is that it?” He rustled Mikael’s hair to soften the harsh tone of the words. “Not gonna tell your friends about it?”

Mikael fixed his now messy hair; he looked a bit uncomfortable. “It’s not that. It’s just that in my family we don’t discuss soul bonds like this.”

Even pulled away, expression contrite. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

Mikael shook his head, dismissing the apology. “It’s fine. It’s not a big deal really. The customs are just different.” At the blank looks he received, he elaborated. “We believe that family and friends take an active part in your bonding. We don’t discuss our thread regularly, but those close to us have an active idea of what we are looking for in a bond mate. If someone important to us notices our thread suddenly, or maybe realizes that we seem to have a strong bond with another person, they might suggest that we look to it and see if the bond supports us.”

A bond formed after knowing yourself. Isak liked the idea of it. That your time with someone could influence the bond, and that you don’t need to spend your time actively looking for it. He hadn’t realized he had leaned forward until Mikael’s eyes were looking at him curiously from much closer than they had been before. “So, you don’t see your thread?”

If Isak was asked to describe the way Mikael’s face shifted, he would say that it had fallen, apologetic. “I can see my thread. I just don’t pay it mind. Sometimes it is less noticeable because of it. But I’m sure your bond will be seen too.”

Isak fell back in his chair with a clatter. He looked to Even, who flinched at his gaze. “Right. I was just curious. I didn’t mean to pry.” He focused on his food, refusing to leave the table the way he usually would have. Even had told Mikael that Isak couldn’t see his thread. For the life of him, Isak could not understand why. Just how close were the two of them really?

He could see Mikael glancing back and forth between the two of them confusedly. “Yeah, we place less emphasis on love at first sight, and more on the bond that grows over time.”

Even sighed wistfully from beside him, ignoring the tense atmosphere around him. “That’s a great way of finding the bond. It is just so unfair that you could meet someone who seems so perfect, that you can meet someone you want so badly to be yours, but fate hasn’t chosen that for you.” He was looking at Isak when he said it, but Isak did not miss how Even’s gaze shifted from his when he returned it. Even’s eyes settled on Mikael beside him. The brunet smiled at Even, bright and sunny. Isak felt a thunderous pain at the look they shared, at the way it was reciprocated by Even.

Isak did not like what that look suggested. Even thought someone here was perfect. He met someone he wanted to be his, and Isak watched as he smiled and laughed with Mikael after he said it. The two shared everything. Even secrets about Isak. They talked of Isak and his lost soul bond, and Even grew closer to Mikael every day. It made Isak feel dark, it made him feel like lashing out. Things had been going so well for everyone in the last couple weeks, so it was no surprise that something was about to go wrong. When he next spoke, he knew it was condescending. “Anyways that’s a really cool way of working with the bond. I wish it wasn’t so prevalent in our culture to hinge everything on finding a soulmate. People get obsessed with it.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Even’s tone was sharp, and when Isak dared to look in his direction his eyes were too. He was no longer ignoring Isak.

“I just mean, people shouldn’t be getting to know people with only the intention of meeting them to maybe get in their pants. They shove their friends aside the minute a new opportunity arises to ‘find the one.’ It’s bullshit.” Isak wouldn’t back down. Not this time.

“That’s fucking rude Isak.” Even looked disappointed, but Isak refused to acknowledge how his words might sting. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, I guess I don’t, but neither do you, Even.” He spit the words out, bullets intent to hit their target. He could see when they made impact.

Even looked as if he’d been hollowed out. Hunched over as if trying to protect his heart from the onslaught. When he responded it was quiet, and Isak felt like his next words were going to be just as dangerous as Isak’s.

“Fuck you.” Even stated. “Is there something really wrong with wanting to be loved?” His voice was wrecked, and Isak became instantly aware that Even was trying not to cry.

Isak could feel his hands shaking. He needed to explain himself. “Can’t your friends love you too?”

He cared so deeply for the people at this table. Why was his love deemed less so because it didn’t have a red thread connecting them. He chose these people to love, and he knew this love was better than what he could offer a soul mate. After all, his love for his mother was much stronger than his father’s love for her ever was.

“It’s not the same.”

“Why can’t it be? Why is what we all share here not good enough?”

“I want someone who is mine, and I am theirs!” Even had stood from the table. “I want what others seem to have so easily! I don’t want to watch others be intimate with their person and know that I will never get to experience that. Maybe it might seem like I care more about soul bonds than I should, but you of all people should understand how lonely it feels to be on the outside of that, with not even one true hope of finding someone who you have the ability to be with completely.” Even gathered his things, shoulders heaving from the strain to hold back his emotions. “You’re being a dick Isak, and I don’t want to be around it right now.”

Isak watched as Even walked away, rooted to the table before him. It was quiet, and everyone looked stunned by Even’s outburst.

“I’ll go check on him.” Mikael said, standing to excuse himself.

“Fucking great.” Isak said. “While you’re at it, why don’t you look to see if your bond connects? You two seem to fawn after each other like nothing else.” Even as the words fell from his mouth, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. 

Mikael regarded him coolly, but didn’t respond, heading to follow Even out of the building.

“Dude what has you being such a dick?” Mahdi asked.

Isak stood from the table and headed in the opposite direction than Even.

++

When Isak’s anger had run its course, he regained the courage to make his way to his next class. Entering the empty lecture hall, he found Even sat alone drawing.

He watched Even. How he was focused on the paper before him, as if no one else was around, his tongue poking out between his teeth, and his fingers stained with ink. He looked beautiful, and in that moment Isak became profoundly aware of an uncomfortable fact.

Isak was in love with Even.

The unflinching truth of that statement hit Isak square in the chest. It was so visceral; he lifted his hand to rub at the space between his ribs. He watched Even before him, beautiful and kind despite the shit hand he had been dealt in life, despite the words of cynics like Isak constantly being hurled at him. Even didn’t deserve Isak’s jealousy. He deserved love and affection and all the things Isak couldn’t provide. If Mikael was the one to offer that to Even, who was Isak to stand in the way of that?

Isak startled as he was bumped into, realizing he was stood in the centre of the lecture hall just watching Even’s movements. Isak took a deep breath and walked toward the man he could finally admit that he had come to love.

“Hi.” Isak whispered when he had grown close. Even raised his eyes but gave no response, turning back to his art. Isak deserved that. “So… I owe you an apology.”

Even continued to work on his drawing. “Isak what is your problem? With me? With Mikael?”

Isak sighed, letting himself fall into the seat beside Even. “I don’t have a problem with him. Not really. I just don’t like how you ignore me when he’s around. How you ignore everyone.” Isak was quick to correct himself.

Even let the pen fall from his hand. “I don’t.”

Isak’s huff of laughter did not hold any humour. “You do. But its okay, I was being selfish with my desire for your attention.”

Even looked so confused, so at a loss to what Isak was saying. Even wasn’t even aware how he focused so heavily on Mikael. “Sometimes I don’t know what you see, Isak. It’s not like I only talk to Mikael. It’s that I can’t talk to you when he’s around. You don’t really talk when he’s around, no matter how hard I try, or anyone else for that matter.”

“Listen, I’m sorry for how I’ve acted. I know it made things awkward for you, and I’m happy you found someone else to be friends with. Especially because you have so much in common. Its like you have found someone else who sees like you. It makes sense that he’s your favourite.” Isak was aware he was rambling. He kept ringing his hands, scratching at them with his nails until he was sure that the skin had reddened. “Even, I really like being friends with you. But I am being a really shit one. I think that I may have took it too far when I was rude to you and Mikael. I said some stuff after you left too, I don’t know if he mentioned that?” At Even’s sharp nod, Isak blushed. “Right. Well, I’m sorry. I am being ridiculous and mean and honestly its about time I get over it. I haven’t been explaining myself well, but maybe if you saw how the two of you act together, you might see that I’m on to something. I’ve never seen you talk to someone else, like you’ve talked to him. Maybe your bond was waiting for someone like Mikael to make it’s presence again.”

It was quiet for a long while. Isak watched how emotions flit across Even’s face, confusion, frustration, sadness, acceptance. Isak didn’t know what emotions he was conveying. Even didn’t look to him, instead focusing on the doodle in his lap, sharp eyes lined with anger, a shine in them that hinted at a repressed sadness.

Even opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by the arrival of the professor, and the beginning of their lecture.

Isak spent the lecture acutely aware of Even’s every move, but he could admit to himself that that wasn’t a change from the usual. 

When the class finished, Isak was slow to move. He gathered his things idly, hoping that Even had decided on what he wanted to say. He turned to Even when he made a soft noise. “I don’t know what you’re on about,” Even began, “But I like hanging out with you too, Isak. I just wish it came with less confusion. I wish you didn’t complicate everything when it really could be so simple. I need to talk to Mikael, sort out the things that were said. I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you yet, but thank you for the apology.”

Isak nodded, it was completely fair of Even to need time to decide whether he wanted to pursue a friendship with Isak, especially after how he acted with Mikael. “I want you to be happy Even. I can see that Mikael makes you that.”

Even looked away from him, raising his fingers to feel at the bridge of his nose. “Isak I can tell you care. I just wish you were a little more observant about the things you see. You make up so many answers in your head, you don’t see the ones right in front of your face.”

Even let his hand drop to his things, gathering them and making a quick exit.

Isak sat alone in the lecture hall for just a few moments longer.

++

When Isak next saw Even, he would swear he had never seen him looking so happy before. His smile was wide, and his eyes crinkled at the corners where they closed in joy. He was loud and moving a lot, exchanging handshakes and fist bumps with their friends. He kept returning his hand to Mikael’s shoulder and squeezing it, but Isak tried to keep the sting of that at bay. Even looked so happy, Isak had no choice but to feel its infectious warmth.

“What’s going on?” He asked loudly, sitting in the free space beside Even. He made sure to make eye contact with Mikael trying to send a small smile in his direction, in hopes he could mend burnt bridges. Mikael returned the smile softly.

Even broke the moment, yelling out loudly at Isak’s arrival. “So!” He began. “I was talking to Mikael yesterday, after our conversation. We got caught up in a discussion of how his culture deals with the bond, and I remembered how you said that Mikael and I were close. So I thought, why not ask Mikael if he believed we were close enough to check out if we could see anything.”

Isak felt something sinking in his stomach. He knew he said he would be happy for Even no matter what, but Isak wasn’t actually prepared to be right. He looked at how close the pair were sitting and how happy they both looked over whatever had come to pass. Isak took a fortifying breath, unsure he wanted to hear the answer when he asked, “And you two are soulmates?”

Mikael looked to him, confused, before looking to Even who had let out a loud laugh. “No Isak. Mikael and I aren’t soul mates. But we are friends, so I asked him if he could see anything. You know, like family and friends sometimes can?” Even explained. “Well, he could! Mikael saw my thread! And when he told me, it felt like something just shifted and suddenly I could see it too. Like it had never truly left me. I have a soulmate!”

Isak sat back, awestruck at Even’s words. His hand itched, and he couldn’t fight the urge to look to Even’s hand as if he would be able to see the string that Even now sported. There was an urge, dark and encompassing for Isak to look to his own hand, a small flicker of hope that he may find his own thread which he had discarded so easily as a child. He gave in, looking to Even’s hand and then his own. He could see neither.

The hollow feeling that settled in his chest was short lived, however. He had other things to focus on rather than small hopes of igniting desires that had laid dormant for years.

The happiness bursting from Even was electric. Isak felt his heart grow fonder each moment he took to just experience Even as a person. He ignored the sharp pain that thinking of Even with a soulmate provided, focusing on the happy warmth that radiated from Even’s blinding smile.

Isak reached forward, placing his hand on the warmth of Even’s shoulder. “I am so happy for you.” He said, sincere.

Even’s smile grew smaller, more private as he looked to Isak. “I don’t know who it is. My lead is long and winding, but I am so excited to look. I’m ready to find him. Or her.”

Isak felt his smile dimming, but his desire for Even’s heart to be full outweighed his own breaking. “I’ll be there to support you every step of the way.”

Even took Isak’s hand cupping it in his as he pulled it from his shoulder to his lap. “Thanks, Isak.”

Isak, ignored the growing ache within his stomach. “Anytime.”

++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some discussion of Mikael's family and their cultural practices in this chapter, and I don't want to come off as insensitive regarding different cultural practices or norms. This is of course an idealized view of how a different culture might look at soulmates, but I dont want to be appearing to trivialize anything or make it seem like one belief is better than another. I think there is a lot of overflow so both versions are acceptable. One just gels better with Isak I think. Let me know if it bugged you, or if it seemed a bit too much.
> 
> Spoilers!
> 
> Someone was ahead of the game and guessed the Jonas twist! I was super happy to get that comment but I didnt want to just say 'yep!' so well done!
> 
> This one is a bit of a doozy, so let me know what you think!!
> 
> Find me:
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	7. Chapter 7

Even made it clear that he didn’t want his search for his soul bond to overtake his time spent with his friends. School days were for studying, so he was always present at classes. He did not wander off alone in his free time, but rather sat with everyone and remained attentive and kind. Isak felt even worse for his unkind words about Even’s search for his soul bond.

It wasn’t that now that Even could see his lead, he was no longer looking for it, quite the contrary. He made it clear he was actively looking now that he knew his soulmate was out there. It’s just that Even didn’t want anyone to think that they were lesser because he was focused on other things. Isak’s words had made a difference, and though Even was being very understanding about his feelings, it made Isak feel worse. Even was so good, so considerate, and still Isak wanted to be selfish. How was he supposed to let someone else have Even? Let someone else get the parts of Even that were most personal? The parts Isak would never truly get to see. Even if that person would be better for Even than Isak himself would ever hope to be.

“But I will be cancelling any weekend hangouts for the foreseeable future.” Even finished, leaning over Isak to steal a fry from his plate.

“What? No!” Magnus pouted from the other side of the table. “You can’t just be available to us in all your glory and then take it away!

Even laughed. “Mags, I’m available. I’m just gonna be a bit busy going on something of a treasure hunt.”

“Okay, but I love treasure hunts, and I can come to help sometimes! That way you are still around to hang out with, but you also don’t lose any time in your search.” Magnus leaned forward, excited as he laid out his plan. “Maybe we can help you figure out why the thread is bringing you to where it is!”

Even had a bright grin on his lips, as he shook his head fondly at Magnus’ excitement. “That sounds lovely Magnus. If you’d be willing.”

“It’s actually not a bad idea.” Mikael added. “Even if we can’t help you with locations, you can explain how they might be important to you. And if they have no bearing on your life so far, that would mean they are important to your soulmate.”

There was a chorus of agreement around the table, and Isak could see that it meant a lot to Even by how he blushed at the implication of the words, looking to the table.

“Okay. Well. If you’re sure about this, then you guys are welcome to come with me this weekend. I’m starting Saturday.”

Isak ran a hand through his locks, looking away from the happiness displayed in front of him. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to actively help Even find his perfect person. It was different to support from the sidelines, without feeling like he was actively searching out the pain he had tried so hard to keep from himself up to that point.

Even must have noticed his quiet because Isak felt his hand resting on his shoulder. He had to shake his head at Even’s curious glance, suggesting that nothing was amiss. Even smiled, but his eyes remained soft, curious at Isak’s mood, and if Isak didn’t know any better maybe a little melancholy themselves.

At least he had a couple days to decide whether or not he would be able to make it on Even’s journey.

++

Isak found Even sitting quietly by himself outside the lecture hall. He hadn’t noticed Isak yet, so Isak took the moment to watch him. Even was looking at his hand, where the red thread no doubt shone upon his ring finger. He looked mesmerised, unaware of everything that was taking place around him and outside of his thoughts.

Even looked contemplative, but he didn’t look pleased.

Even had spent the last few days smiling and happy, but in a moment where he thought he was alone that smile had lost its shine. Even clenched his fingers together, then loosened them. Again and again. His expression serious, eyebrows furrowed as he thought about some unknown future and the journey ahead of him.

“Everything okay?” Isak asked.

Even startled from his position, his hand falling to the floor beside him. He smiled tightly at Isak. “Hey! All good here.” His eyes weren’t sincere.

“You sure?” Isak settled next to him, his own hand landing close to Even’s. “A lot has happened to you. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.”

Even gaze returned to his hands again. He raised his and ran it through his styled hair, loosening it. “Can I be honest with you?”

Isak’s breath shortened. “I think so... I hope so.”

Even nodded, his hands settling curled together in his lap. “It’s not what I expected.”

Isak tiled his head, confused. “What did you expect?”

“I thought it would be obvious. Like I would feel it in my bones, and I would know who it was. I thought I’d know immediately. I didn’t think it would be so winding or so nerve wracking. My thread is long, and it’s gonna take awhile before I have any ideas.”

Isak laughed. “You were that eager to find out who it was? Were you hoping the lead would be short? Like it would be someone close by?”

Even laughed too, softly and a little sadly. His eyes didn’t leave Isak’s. “Honestly, kind of.”

Isak’s breath caught at Even’s earnestness. He didn’t want to talk to him about his soulmate, he could feel the pain in his stomach at the topic, but there would be no way Isak could let Even feel this way without supporting him. “That will make the meeting that much sweeter. Your bond mate is perfect for you. Which must mean they are amazing.”

The softness of Even’s face didn’t leave any option but Isak staring. His eyes didn’t look any less sad. “I have amazing friends. You said they should be just as important to me.” Even said quietly. A callback to Isak’s words when they had fought. “How can my soulmate be better than the people I already know? How do they compare?”

“Because they’re for you.” Isak was shocked by his own sincerity. He was being too honest, too vulnerable, but he couldn’t help it. Not when it was with Even.

Even looked to him, really looked. Isak felt like he couldn’t look away. It was a long time before Even said anything. “Let’s go to class.”

“Okay.”

++

Isak moved back and forth on his decision as to whether he could stomach the idea of attending Even’s bond search with his friends.

In the end, he made it.

Isak knew he would feel nothing but worry if he had stayed home. What if Even’s search ended early? What if he got hurt? What if something happened to his lead?

So Isak met with his friends outside the KB where Even worked, waiting for the blond to make his way out of the café and begin his journey. When Even arrived, it was with a large smile and coffee for all. He handed out drinks, excited for the day ahead. Isak was the last to receive his, and he accepted it with a small smile for Even.

Isak was pleasantly surprised when he took a sip. “You know my order?”

Even looked proud of his accomplishment. “I know your secrets, Isak.” He whispered with a wink. It was true. Isak usually ordered black coffee when with friends, but this one had a dash of cream with cinnamon. It was an order he only ever made when he thought he was alone. Isak could feel his cheeks heat and took a sip of the coffee in hopes of hiding it.

“Shall we go?” Jonas asked from where he was watching the two curiously.

Even moved away from Isak slowly, shaking himself as if he had been in a fog. He looked to his left hand, to the thread that only he could see, and took a moment to orient himself. “Okay. Well, luckily my lead seems to be happy to start here, its deep and vibrant. Maybe I encountered my person here before.”

“Or maybe you spend a lot of time here, and you two will in the future as well. Good date spot.” Mahdi reasoned beside them.

“Fair enough. Let’s go then.” Even started in the direction his lead led him, and Isak followed after him with his friends.”

++

In the end they walked about the city, and Even only found the thread to be bright and vibrant one more time.

“A kebab shop?” Mikael asked, unimpressed.

Even let out a noise of affront, turning to glare at his friend. “And what do you have against kebabs?”

Mikael shrugged, a smile pulling at his lips. “Nothing, but either you or your soulmate is basic as hell.”

Even broke out in laughter. “I love this place. Spent many nights here after a party.”

“You and all of Oslo.” Jonas laughed.

“He‘s right.” Mahdi agreed. “This place is right near Nissen. Everyone’s been here.”

Isak nodded in agreement. This is the chip shop that they would go to on their way home from late ending classes or after hanging out at the park. It’s one of the many places that Jonas and Isak pigged out on kebab and fries as Magnus waxed poetic about his love of Vilde.

Isak wouldn’t be surprised if most of Oslo frequented this kebab shop.

Mikael smiled. “See? Basic. Even I’ve been here with Elias when we waited for Sana after school one day. This is a clue that isn’t helpful really.”

Even pulled a shocked face. “How dare you? It is totally helpful. It seems that both I and my bond mate have amazing taste in food.”

“Well, I’m glad your happy with your clue.” Mikael told him.

It was breadcrumbs, even Isak could see that, but it seemed nothing would put a damper on Even’s search now that he had found his thread again. Not in front of the group anyways. There could be quiet moments of nerves, but Even would always be more excited at the chance he had to find his soulmate than his worries over who it would be.

++

Legs tired, and minds worn, the group settled where they had started. Even was still determined, buoyed by the fact that his lead had given him a clue, an area that was important to Even and his soulmate in some way.

His friends were happy for him but fatigued. And when they departed for the night, it was with the knowledge that Even would likely complete his search on his own or with the occasional friend. As fun as it had been to go, the group had been no help to Even.

Isak would be lying if he said it wasn’t hard to watch Even excitedly search for his perfect person. For the first time in a very long while, Isak admitted quietly to himself that he maybe did want the warmth of his soulmate. That is, if they could at all compare to the warmth he felt around Even.

++

Even kept them updated on his search every weekend. And though the group didn’t search with him again, there had been times where Even was joined by one or two of his friends for the journey.

Isak had yet to go on a second search with Even.

He often warred with himself over the fact that he had wanted to attend Even’s walks so that he could learn more about Even, but the more he learned about him, the more Isak did not want him to find his soulmate. It made Isak feel dark and mean. He didn’t like that about himself, so he tried to avoid going. Isak was becoming overwhelmingly aware that this plan was not going to work in the long run. He felt more and more like he was missing out on important parts Even, and each time he heard after the fact about the search, his stomach hurt, and he felt like he had missed something important. It didn’t help that Isak was the only friend to not help Even on his own, and Isak felt like he was acting like the asshole he had tried to will himself out of being.

This was why Isak interrupted Even mid word to announce, “I’ll come with you next time. On your search.”

Even leaned back, surprised at Isak’s words. His eyebrows pulled together in confusion, and he looked like he was fighting a laugh. “That sounds great Isak. Anyways like I was saying, I don’t know what to add to my paper to get the word count up. It’s due soon too.”

Isak blushed, embarrassed he had clearly been ignoring a mundane conversation to worry over someone else’s soul bonding.

Even must have noticed because he reached for Isak’s shoulder, shaking it gently until Isak lifted his head to acknowledge him. Even’s smile was kind if teasing, but his words were honest when he said, “I’d like for you to come.”

Isak’s cheeks heated for a different reason now, and he returned his gaze to the table, playing with his hands for something to do.

++

“Where are we headed to today?” Isak asked, leaning against the KB wall, and waiting for Even to collect his things.

“Well, when I started here the last time it brought me to a skate park. So, I figure we start there and continue.” Even grabbed Isak’s hand and started in the direction of the park.

As they got closer to the park, Isak began to recognize the area. Excited, he said, “Jonas used to skate here! He made me come with him all the time!” Isak looked about the concrete structures, pointing out metal railings, ramps and inclines, and remembered fondly his days sat on the lip of the bowl watching as Jonas glided across the concrete at speeds that made Isak nervous.

Even watched him, smiling at the descriptions Isak had for Jonas’ stunts, the way they would get hungry while out, and how they would always have kebabs from that shop down the street. He listened happily, before asking, “Do you think my soulmate is a skater than?”

Isak balked at the question. “Do you not have a connection here?”

Even shrugged. “I mean, not really? Sometimes I would come by here yeah, and maybe I might sit around and doodle, but I don’t really have a connection to this place. It must mean something to my bond mate.”

Isak thought back to his time at the park. Had he maybe seen Even’s bond mate before? Could it be one of the girls who sat with him, watching their boyfriends or taking part in the activities? Could it be one of the boys who would show off their skills after Jonas tired of his exercise? The idea hurt Isak’s stomach a bit, but rubbing his hands to still the urge to clutch at it, he tried to change the subject. “Maybe… Do you want to start looking for your next soul bond clue?”

Even nodded, agreeing to Isak’s suggestion. He looked down to his left hand, really looked to it, focusing on the red thread that only he could see at the moment. When he looked up, he gestured to a direction leading out of the park, and Isak followed him when Even began to move.

They walked aimlessly, talking of films and tv, video games and music. Even spoke of his favourite director, of how he enjoyed watching things that gave him both a hope for love and the knowledge that even having a soul bond can be bittersweet. Isak listened to his words, how Even spoke quickly when excited, how he emphasized his words with his hands dancing about in front of him or shaking at Isak’s arm when he wanted Isak to know how important what he just said was. He liked how Even’s voice grew quiet when he talked about his favourite movies, his favourite songs, how imagery helped to tell a story with lovely dialogue.

“Do you have a favourite song Isak?”

Isak was so engrossed in the way that Even spoke, that at first, he didn’t even notice that he hadn’t answered his question. “What? No.”

Even caught Isak’s attention with a suspicious glance. “Really? Not even a favourite artist? Just gangster rap?”

“I mean, I guess.” Isak rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to reduce the heat that was settling there. “You know that I like the rap. I don’t really listen to much else. N.W.A and Notorious B.I.G. Snoop is good too.” He didn’t want to let on how their conversation about rap had influenced Isak’s current spotify playlist. How he had taken Even’s interests and incorporated them into his own.

Even laughed. “Okay, okay. I get it, you’re hard.” He laughed harder when he caught sight of Isak’s face. “I’m just teasing. They’re all good. Have you checked out anyone else I introduced you to last time? Nas?”

“Oh yeah. Nas. I really liked him.” Isak was attempting nonchalance, but his warm cheeks must have tipped Even off to Isak’s falseness.

Even beamed. “I think you listen to him a lot.” When Isak didn’t deny it, his smile brightened. “Isak you listened to my suggestions? On your own?” He asked mischievously. His smile grew private, more personal when Isak felt his cheeks heat further. “God, you’re so cute sometimes.”

Isak shrugged noncommittally, but he knew when he returned home he would be looking up more of Even’s suggestions. Isak didn’t like the way that having Even’s full attention on him made him feel, or more accurately he liked it too much, so he tried to change the topic to their task at hand. “Any signs from the soul bond heavens?”

Even looked down to his finger, studying the red thread and where it was leading him. “It’s getting warmer, but I don’t think we’ve reached the spot yet.” He pointed to his right, and pulling at Isak’s arm, they headed in that direction.

Soon they found themselves on a street in the middle of residential houses. Even came to a stop in front of a white house, nothing seemed to really stand out about it, so Isak watched Even for his reaction.

When Even didn’t say anything for a long moment, Isak decided to prompt him. “Anything familiar?”

Even shook himself from whatever thought had been occupying him. “Do you know this area?” He asked Isak.

Isak looked to him, confused. “Me? No. I used to live in a kollektivet a couple streets down, but this place means nothing. Just a place I probably biked passed. Do you think it relates to your bond mate?” He asked, apprehensive.

Even was focused on the house before him, if he heard the timidity in Isak’s voice, he didn’t mention it. “A girl I used to go to school with lived here.” He shifted abruptly catching Isak by surprise when Even’s eyes found his own. “She has a pool in her basement. I know this because one Halloween back when I was in high school, I broke in and went swimming by myself.”

Isak choked on his breath, shocked by the event Even described. “You broke into a house to swim by yourself? Even, what the fuck?”

“I think I was entering a manic phase at the time, but that’s not the point. Why would my soul bond lead me here? What important thing could this have to do with?”

Isak could hear the catch in Even’s voice. He could see how his shoulders rose and fell rapidly. He stepped forward to lay a comforting hand on Even’s tense shoulder. “Even.” He whispered. “Should we stop? If it means something is feeling too difficult for you, then its okay to stop.”

Even leaned into his hand, but he shook his head to negate Isak’s words. “It just isn’t a good memory. It took place the first Halloween after I had lost my bond. I wasn’t in a good state. I think that’s what triggered another episode for me.”

Isak let out a shaky breath. He remembered the first time he had to celebrate Halloween after ignoring his bond until it disappeared. He had agreed to spend the night with this girl in a year below him, Emma, who had become a bit obsessed with him since their meeting at a school function. She had spent the night with him asking Isak if he could see his bond around her. He had been so frustrated by her constant request for him to look at his hand, even after he had explained he didn’t have a bond, that he had left the house party in a huff and biked about Oslo for most of the night. He remembered feeling so upset that night even though he was happy that he had lost sight of his thread months before.

When Isak had made it back to his apartment, he had gotten plastered to the point that he had opened up about his sexuality and soul bond to Eskild when his roommate came home. To this day, Eskild was the only person who knew the full extent of Isak’s situation.

Isak rubbed at the shoulder still under his hand. “Even, are we done for the day?” He asked gently.

Even’s eyes were downturned and his voice harsh in its quietness when he responded. “Yeah. I think so for today.”

++

Even: _Thanks for coming with me._

Even: _Even if it was awkward._

_It wasn’t awkward. It was personal._

Even: _It was both… but seriously._

Even: _It feels less daunting when its with you._

_Then I can be there._

Even: _You’re a really good guy, Isak._

_I’m really not._

Even: _You really are._

++

Isak thought of Even’s eyes that night, usually bright with hope, haunted instead by a memory of loss. He clenched his hand into a fist, feeling as his nails bit into his skin, sharp and jarring. They would leave marks when he loosened his hands.

Isak tried to keep thoughts of Even out of his mind, he tried to keep his fingers from reaching for his phone to make a call.

He gave in when his hand began to cramp.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end of the line sounded rough, tired.

Isak looked at the time, 3:15, and wincing returned to the voice demanding an answer of him. “Hi Eskild.”

The line went quiet. “Do my ears deceive me? Is that the lost child who abandoned me when he was no longer in need? Waking me from my beauty sleep?”

Isak scoffed. “Fuck off. No way you were sleeping.”

Eskild heaved a sigh loud enough to be heard over the phone. “Maybe not. But you aren’t calling to ridicule me on my sleep habits, and anyways you are not one to talk. To what do I owe the call baby gay?”

Isak took a moment to gather his thoughts. He looked to the empty pillow beside him on his bed, the sliver of light from the window that cut across his dorm room floor and barren wall, the clutter on his desk. So many things that were supposed to represent Isak, and everything empty just like him. Isak supposed that meant they did their job. Breathing out heavily, he said, “Do you remember the night I told you?”

“I am going to need more specifics than that.” It was quiet, tender in its tone, and Isak knew Eskild remembered despite his words.

“You never told me if you thought it was wrong.” Isak felt like he had when he listened to his father scream at his mother from the other room, when he would hear his mother talk of god and righteousness, when he was dragged to church and learned what it was to sin. Sin left marks upon the soul, and Isak’s sin had left his finger bare where red once was. He had done something wrong, by hoping for more for himself than what his mother received, and he now had a stain on his hands to mark him as tainted forever.

“Isak…” He could hear Eskild shift about, his voice catching and becoming unclear. “You were sixteen. There is no wrong yet, just lessons.”

“You said you wouldn’t have liked it.”

“I said you were young. I said you made a decision in fear and you would live with the consequences. Isak, you severed your soul bond. Can you blame me for not liking that?”

Isak leaned further into his pillow, the hand holding his phone caught between the bed and his body. He stared at the empty pillow beside him, unseeing. “You never told anyone. Not even Noora.”

The laugh was sharp, but not unkind. “It’s not my story to tell. Though, I think the burden of holding it in is worse for you… Isak, why did you call me?”

Eskild had always been quick to arrive at a point.

“I met someone.” The silence that met his statement was deafening. Isak waited, but he knew it was his words that would break it. “His bond was severed too.”

“Oh Isak.”

“It isn’t a big deal, really. It’s just the first time I’ve met someone else who lost the bond. But Eskild, he didn’t want to lose it. He fought to get it back.”

“Can you tell me about him?”

“I don’t know how to explain him, Eskild. He’s big. All encompassing. It’s like his presence won’t leave me alone. I don’t agree with anything he says, and yet I find myself thinking like him more and more. He thinks love is beautiful, even when it hurts, and I want him to find his soul bond. He deserves happiness, and I want to help him find it. I think if my father had been a bit more like him, than maybe he would have stayed.” 

“Isak, it sounds like you found a good one. His bond is gone too?” Isak wasn’t used to Eskild speaking tentatively. Usually he would be brash and open in his thoughts. “What do you think that could mean?”

Isak knew what he was suggesting. “His bond came back Eskild. He wanted it so bad that it came back, we were out following his lead today, it made me think of you.”

“They can come back?” The quiet was gone. “Isak! This means you can get yours back too. After this guy finds his soulmate, you can ask him to help find yours. Has he inspired you to start looking again, to try feeling again without being afraid of getting hurt?”

Isak traced the folds and wrinkles of his pillow before clenching his free hand. “Yeah… maybe.”

“Isak.” Eskild could always read Isak better than the others. “Is it more than inspiration?”

Isak felt more tired now than he had all of his high school days. “I guess I just learned that you can’t escape getting your heart hurt. No matter how hard you try.”

“We should see each other more.” Eskild said, changing the subject.

“Good night, Eskild.” Isak answered. He didn’t know what else to say.

## ++

“Was it that rough going by yourself with Even?” Magnus asked jokingly.

Isak was currently lying face down on the table. He was trying to ignore the world around him, but it seemed Magnus did not want to let him. He hadn’t been able to get much sleep after his call to Eskild hadn’t helped him feel better. He grunted out a reply rather than lift his head.

“That bad, huh?”

“Isak, I’m hurt.” Even said, voice teasing. “I thought you truly enjoyed walking aimlessly about the city for something that would only be my benefit.”

Isak wished he could deny that. He shouldn’t enjoy it as much as he did, but Isak really did like hanging out with Even for any reason available. Even if the reason was to help Even as he searched for his perfect person.

“So you just found a house? One that you barely interacted with? Could your soul bond have lived there?” Mikael asked from across the table, returning the conversation to its original topic.

“Yeah it wasn’t important.” Isak looked up as Even scratched his head, downplaying his involvement with the house. “Unless my soul bond is a little girl named Susanne or her very much married mother, I think it’s safe to say that location is a bit of a mystery.”

Isak watched as Mikael’s brow furrowed. Was he so good at reading Even that he could tell there was more to the story? Whatever he was thinking was left untold though, because soon Mikael shrugged. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to try at the next place.”

Eyes downturned and shoulders slumped, Even sighed. “Yeah.”

++

“Where are we going next time?”

Even looked up from his hands where he had been playing with them. “Sorry?”

“Do you want to start at that house or do you want to go back to the KB and see if we’re led in a different direction?” Isak asked, taking his seat next to Even in the lecture hall.

“Isak, you don’t have to feel like you should come.”

Isak watched how his fingers still danced listlessly about his palms. “Even, I like hanging out with you. No one said it would be easy searching for your bond…“ He needed to work through the lump forming in his throat. “But you’re worth finding. So please don’t give up, and take my offer of help when I give it to you. It doesn’t happen often.”

Even’s hands stilled, right cradling left, thumb pressed against his left ring finger where Isak knew his bond had taken root. He was staring at it, but whatever he saw, Isak couldn’t tell. When Even looked up, his eyes tracked the large lecture hall and its occupants. He looked curious, but Isak could see his mind running wild behind those eyes. When his eyes fell to Isak, after a long while, something seemed to have settled. “Thank you, Isak.”

Isak longed to run his fingers through Even’s styled hair, mess it up like he did to Isak. His fingers hurt from where he clenched them in place. “Anytime.”

Even smiled. It was small, and didn’t quite reach his eyes, but it was real. “Can I meet you at yours? And we can start from there?”

Isak hadn’t let anyone but Magnus, Mahdi and Jonas come to his dorm since he had first moved in. Inviting new people, important people, to his room felt like Isak was sharing himself with them. Though he had invited Even, it was before he really knew what Even meant to him, what bringing Even to his room might signify. And after the initial rush of anger at Even when he stood him up, Isak could admit that he was a little relieved that Even didn’t see so much of him.

Even didn’t see the parts of Isak that his room, with its empty walls and old accessories, that might hint at the truths that Isak felt about himself. The room was empty, clinical and barren. His father paid for it when there was no room left in the Kollektivet. Isak had lost that small sense of family moving to the dorm, with being forced to be honest. And for a while it relieved him. Now it always reminded Isak of how he would never quite be his honest self with his friends, how he had chosen to severe that relationship too. How could he so easily let someone in after trying so hard to keep people out?

But Even asked it of him. He had asked to see a part of Isak freely and with no ill intent. Even asked to see Isak. 

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch everybody! Let me know what you think!
> 
> find me:
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	8. Chapter 8

“It’s nice.”

Isak snorted. He watched how Even took in the small space, the equally small bed, the cramped mess that was his desk and the open window that Isak had yet to buy proper curtains for before taking a seat on Isak’s bed. “Don’t be an ass.”

Even pulled a stern face. “Seriously. It is very… minimal.” He settled on. Isak must have displayed his disdain on his face, because soon Even was laughing at him. “Where is your personality, Isak? I know its in there.” He said, gesturing to Isak’s front. “But I don’t see it anywhere over here.” Even’s finger looped about the small space, unimpressed.

“Hey! You don’t get to comment on my lack of taste.” Isak huffed, but he held no true anger. “I bet your room is just filled with shit! So much stuff that people trip over things trying to get around. Can you Even see in your room Even? Be honest. I bet you don’t even know what colour your walls are.”

Even laughed, delighted. “You know me so well, Isak! I can share some of my stuff with you. Having nothing on your walls is just sad.”

Isak felt his cheeks heat at the offer. “Whatever. Let’s head out of here and do what we said we would.”

Even stood to join him at the door. “You know, I’ve seen my lead grow and brighten around the campus, so maybe we should just walk around here for now.” He suggested.

“You have?” Isak asked. Could Even’s soul bond be at the university?

“When we were in class the other day, it brightened. Like something or someone was significant there. I talked to Mikael about it, he seems to have some ideas, but he can be an ass sometimes so I can’t tell if he’s teasing me or not.” Even said it like it was a secret. Like there was more to his conversation then he was willing to let on, but Isak wouldn’t push him.

Isak looked to Even’s hand, considering. It frustrated him that he could see nothing where he knew Even’s thread to be. Why was it that Even could see it? That Mikael had been able to? “It might not mean too much though. I mean, you go here so it wouldn’t be surprising that important things for your soul bond have taken place here. It could really only have something to do with you. But this is also one of the biggest universities in the area. If your person went here, would it really be that surprising?”

Even shrugged. “It could mean nothing, or everything. But either way it doesn’t hurt to look does it?”

Isak couldn’t argue that. “Fine. Let’s go.”

++

They walked about campus, down hallways and into empty lecture halls. Even would get quiet every time they entered a room, looking at his hands and then the area around them. He would ask things like, “What classes take place here?” or “Why could the library possibly mean anything to anyone here?” and Isak would respond with information about the faculty of sciences and get upset on behalf of those, like him, who thought that studying was important enough to take place in the library. Just because Even only set foot in it to collect films for a collection didn’t mean that others didn’t have legitimate needs to study in the stacks and levels.

Eventually they tired of the university. Even was so entangled in the area, that he had no way of knowing whether the places he was being led to meant anything to his soul bond alone or was actually just Even becoming the person he was meant to be for his person.

“Should we take a stab at another location?” Isak suggested. “We can grab a kebab and head around town?”

Even clutched at his stomach where it had just made a noise, pulling a face. “Oh Isak, you’re my saviour!” Laughing, he turned around and headed out into the city.

Isak followed. Always followed.

++

The Kebabs went down well, sated and energized, the two friends made their way across the city aimlessly.

They had been walking half an hour before Even had even found a kebab shop he was willing to stop at. Of course, it was the location that had a connection to his bond. Even raved about their fries and the toppings they could get so energetically that Isak had no choice but to order every one that Even mentioned. The fries had ended up tasting horrible, due to an over abundance of seasonings, but Isak felt it was worth it to see Even first laughing at the look of disgust made by the cashier and then by Isak upon biting into the concoction. It was a good thing he had ordered something on the side.

Isak watched now as Even looked periodically to his hand, correcting course sometimes, but often just happy to continue walking with Isak and continue conversations about their interests.

It wasn’t too long before Even started to quiet however. He looked to his hand more often, and when he did a small grimace took hold of his face.

“Is everything alright?” Isak asked, quiet. If Even didn’t feel like answering, Isak wouldn’t push him.

He watched as Even shook the tension from his shoulders, taking a moment before he turned to give Isak an unconvincing smile. “Yeah totally.”

“We can stop again, you know?”

“I just think I might know where I am going. Where it is leading me.” The statement made Isak curious, but the tone with which Even said it suggested he didn’t want to talk about it.

So, Isak bit his tongue. He followed an ever more quiet Even further into Oslo city centre.

As they continued, Isak began to recognize where they were. The more they headed in the direction they were going, the more sure Isak became. “Even are we going to the hospital?”

Even’s shoulders tensed further. “Yes.”

As they grew nearer to the entrance for Oslo Hospital, Isak reached forward taking Even’s shoulder and pulling him to a stop. “Tell me about the hospital?”

Even’s eyes were glassy and unseeing when he looked away from the formidable building and towards Isak smaller frame. “Its where I found out I was bipolar after losing my bond.”

Isak watched as Even closed off, building a wall about him to stave off the memories. Isak could see how the hospital was a prison for those who found no refuge there, he had seen it in his own mother.

“Do you want to talk about that night?” He asked, softly.

“Not really.” Even had that far off look in his eye again. Despite his words, he continued. “I don’t remember it much. I was coming off of a manic episode, slipping fast, and my mom brought me here because the bond had just disappeared. I was doing some weird shit at the time, up all night, not eating, running myself wild in class and out of it. I didn’t even notice I had lost it, not at first. That made it really hard to pinpoint what had been the cause. I was stuck here coming back and forth for tests and prescriptions, to speak to therapists, to make sure I wasn’t hurting myself. I don’t remember anything feeling right at the hospital, or any part of it helping me. I only ever felt worse here, until I was given a therapist to go to and speak with. That was the only thing I got out of being here, a different person to talk to.”

“I never liked it here, either.”

Even startled, turning to Isak with curious eyes. “You’ve been here?”

“My Mom, not me. She came after a particularly bad breakdown. My dad had just left, and she couldn’t take it anymore. The hospital did everything it could for her, but I just remember it for being the time that my mom lost control and tried to hurt herself. Her bond had broken, and she let herself go with it.”

Even reached forward, placing a comforting hand on Isak’s shoulder. Isak could feel it’s intense heat as it moved back and forth softly. Isak felt an incredible itch to reach for it but held himself back.

Even’s hand stilled, then it fell. “Should we go back?”

Isak wanted so badly to ease the tension in the atmosphere around them. “If we head back to mine, can we try to recreate our franken fries?”

Even smiled softly. “Sounds delicious.”

++

“Isak…” Even sat on the corner of his bed, taking up as little space as possible. Isak nodded his head, urging his friend to continue. “Can you tell me about what it is like to never have a bond? You never had it right?”

The soft words hit like a truck. Isak felt himself tense all over, wanting to run from the room rather than lie to Even. The idea of treating Even like the others, of keeping something so personal from him, of stepping even further back from whatever pseudo closeness that he was able to maintain with Even as a friend, it hurt. The pain was unfathomable.

Isak sat quietly, trying to think of how to approach the question, of how not to alienate Even further. He didn’t mean to say anything, he really didn’t. But all too easily, the heavy words fell from Isak’s mouth. “I didn’t want it.”

He could see the impact his quiet words had on Even’s mind. Even stilled, as if still processing the simple statement. Eyebrows furrowed and mouth downturned he asked, “What do you mean?”

Isak dropped his shoulders, afraid of his own words. “I had the bond. I could see it fine. I just didn’t want it. Not with what it did to my Mom. Not when I knew that my person could still leave, that I could hurt them if they didn’t hurt me first.”

Even sat quiet.

Isak watched him, apprehensive. He picked at the sheets below him. Even looked dazed, as if he was looking through Isak rather than at him. He didn’t speak, but Isak could see how he tensed, how he twitched in his seat as if aching to go to the door. When his eyes returned to Isak’s they had hardened.

Isak had never seen Even look at him that way. He remembered how bad it felt when Even had called him out for his words toward Mikael, but that was nothing compared to how sharp his eyes were now.

“What are you saying?” Even asked, but it was cold, uninviting.

“Nothing Even. Its fine. The bond is gone, so there’s nothing to do.” Isak backtracked. He wrung his hands, keeping himself from reaching for Even, from trying to thaw the ice he saw building behind Even’s eyes.

“You broke your bond? Purposely?” Even’s voice was hollow.

“I was young. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I didn’t want to be like my dad.” Isak tried to explain, he heard his voice getting higher, panicking over Even’s reaction. “You have to understand Even, I didn’t want to hurt anyone. People like me don’t deserve a bond.”

Even flinched, and Isak knew he had said something wrong. “You didn’t want to be like your dad? Isak you’re worse. At least your dad gave love a try. You stole it from someone. I know what its like to lose a bond, but you stole it from someone. You decided they weren’t worth it. That’s horrible Isak. How are you okay with that? How is everyone okay with that? Magnus and Mahdi? Jonas?”

Isak felt a chill from head to toe. He reached his hands around himself, trying to stave off a shiver. “Even please. I’m sorry. I didn’t see it that way. Eskild said it was a bad decision, but one made out of fear. You’re the second person I’ve told. Please don’t say anything. Please understand!”

Even stood from the bed, gathering his things and heading to the door. He didn’t look to Isak at all when he next spoke. “I don’t think I can.” He left the room.

Isak had not cried since the night his mother had hurt herself. Not since Isak was left alone to call for help, to explain to the doctors what had happened.

As he sat in his room, cold and alone, he felt the first tear fall.

He cried that night. And the morning following.

++

Isak didn’t contact anyone.

He only hurt people when he tried to be friends. He had spent the weekend convincing himself that everything he knew was ending. Even would tell everyone what had happened, and everyone would rightfully ask Isak to stop hanging out with them.

Isak feared Jonas’ reaction the most. After all, he had lied to him the longest.

His first day back in class, Isak avoided his friends at all costs. He didn’t go to eat with them at lunch, he didn’t answer any texts, and he didn’t attend the class he shared with Even.

On Tuesday he didn’t share any classes with his friends, so it was a bit easier. He was still getting texts from his friends about ghosting them, and it seemed they didn’t hear anything about the weekend.

By Wednesday, Isak had no excuses, so he made his way to the food hall for lunch. He spotted his friends at their usual table, joking and laughing loudly even from afar. Breathing deeply, Isak made his way to the table. He felt his shoulders lose tension when no one became quiet or angry at his arrival. Looking to Even in question, Isak realized he must not have said anything. Even wasn’t in his usual seat, and there was no space for Isak to try to sit next to him, so he moved to the open space next to Jonas. Even refused to look at him, and his smile had weaned, but he hadn’t gotten up or left the food hall.

“Where were you?” Jonas asked quietly beside him. Only Isak had heard him.

Dropping into the free seat, Isak said. “Just a bit off the last few days.”

“All good now?” Jonas asked, gaze worried.

He must have been reading the nerves roiling off of Isak. “No, but better than I expected this morning.”

Jonas’ eyebrows were still knitted tightly but he nodded at Isak’s words, accepting them. “Let me know if you want to talk.”

“Okay.” Isak promised. He looked up to see Even’s eyes on him, but they flickered away quickly and did not return.

Isak spent the lunch break partaking in the others’ conversations and pretending he could not feel the awkward tension between Even and himself. That he couldn’t feel Jonas and Mikael’s eyes on him and Even.

When they made their way to their shared class, it was separately. Even sat in his usual seat, but Isak made his way to the seat he had taken on his first day. Sitting in front of Even, he wouldn’t spend the lecture staring at him.

Even had remained cold to him after the events of the last weekend, and Isak didn’t want to do anything that would result in him pulling away further. Isak didn’t want to cause anymore damage, and he didn’t want Even going to his friends. So, he stayed away.

++

“Hello?”

Isak heard the voice ring out in his empty room, sleep soaked and confused.

“I need to tell you something.” Isak said.

“It couldn’t wait until morning?”

Isak heard a softer voice, quiet as it spoke out but still picked up by his phone’s microphone. “Jonas, who is it?” And Isak felt ashamed for waking up Noora and Jonas, for affecting their bond time.

“I’ll call back later. It’s stupid anyways.” Isak rushed to hang up, but Jonas’ voice calling out stopped him.

“It doesn’t sound stupid. It sounds important.” Jonas said. “Can I come over?”

Isak nodded softly, taking a moment to voice his assent. “But what about Noora?” He asked quietly.

“Noora is a big girl who knows how to get home on her own Isak.” She responded from across the line. He could hear Jonas snort beside her. “It sounds like you need him, so I’m willing to share tonight.”

“I’ll be over soon.” Jonas promised. “Keep your phone on loud.”

“Okay.”

++

“I have to tell you a secret I’ve been hiding from you. From everyone really. I told two people this ever, but I’m more worried about you than I was for either of them. Well, except… it doesn’t matter. I’m worried how you’ll take it.” Isak was pulling at the bed sheet around him, refusing to look at his friend as he sat in the desk chair before him.

Jonas nodded solemnly. “I should get comfortable then.” He said, moving to sit next to Isak and pull his hands from the sheet so that Jonas could crawl under them. His back leaning on the wall, and his feet pulled to his chest, he encouraged Isak to continue. “Go.”

Isak followed Jonas’ lead, getting under the covers and speaking partly into his pillow. “I lied about my bond.” He admitted.

Jonas was quiet, but it wasn’t cold. Jonas was taking his time with his thoughts. He seemed more open than the last person Isak admitted that to. “Tell me what you mean.”

So Isak did. He spoke and spoke of his Mother and her breakdown, of his father and his callousness, of how the children and teachers lied about what to expect and that Isak could not go through that or put anyone else through it either. He spoke about being happy he had lost his bond, a weight off his shoulders, until recently. He spoke of his annoyance over how Magnus spoke of his bond, over how Even did too, he spoke of how he was secretly jealous of both of them being so strong in the face of the unknown. Isak told Jonas about his fears of love, how he was afraid he’d lose Jonas to Noora, how he’d lose Even to his person; he told Jonas he was jealous of Mikael. He told Jonas everything.

Jonas said nothing. He listened to Isak’s words, but he didn’t speak. The only thing that kept Isak going was the fact that Jonas wasn’t cold. Jonas had reached forward to still Isak’s shaking shoulders, and he had not let go. Even as Isak finished his story, heaving and out of breath, Jonas stayed. He pulled Isak forward and into a hug, and he didn’t let Isak pull away.

“You’re an idiot.” Jonas breathed out quietly, fond.

“I know.” Isak admitted.

“I still like you though.”

Isak looked at Jonas, at his gentle smile and quirked eyebrows. “You promise?”

Jonas nodded, as if he could not be more certain. “I promise.”

++

Isak did not know what had changed, but Even was less cold the next time they saw each other. Even had purposely looked to Isak, until he had looked back, and then nodded a tight-lipped hello. Isak still did not feel right talking to Even, so he just nodded in response and took little part in conversation.

It wasn’t until Isak was gathering his things to leave, everyone else already having left the table, that Mikael sidled up to him.

“He told me, you know.” Mikael said, conversationally. Isak felt himself stiffen, turning to look at Mikael in shock. Isak found he was nervous about what Mikael would say next. “I get why he said what he did.”

Isak lowered his head, focusing on his hands rather than Mikael. “Do you never want to speak to me again?”

Mikael scoffed. “Isak, I don’t think either of us like each other enough to care either way. And that’s not my fault.” Isak blushed at the reminder of his unkind reception. “But we both care about Even, and he likes you way more than he is mad at you.”

Isak looked up quickly, shocked that Mikael would ever suggest such a thing. “Did you not hear what I did?”

Mikael shrugged. “Yeah. In great poetic detail actually. But see, the thing is, I get it.” He shrugged again at Isak’s incredulous look. “I don’t agree with it, not really, but I can see why you did what you did. I don’t think you should be hated for it, especially if your actions can be undone. Your bond forms when you are ready. It can grow and change with you. You wouldn’t have been good for your bond mate at that point. You clearly weren’t ready, so it disappeared. That doesn’t mean it can’t come back. Just look at how Even’s did.”

Isak clenched his fingers together, scared by the emotion that thought wrenched from him. “I’m still not ready.” He whispered.

Mikael smiled softly, leaning forward to pat Isak’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be yet. It will come when it is meant to. And anyways, I think you’re not a good judge of your own readiness, or worth for that matter.”

Isak felt Mikael’s warmth for the first time since he had met him. He felt the genuine kindness that so many of his friends spoke of, that Even spoke of. “I can tell why he likes you.” Isak told him.

Mikael laughed, fingers tightening on Isak’s shoulders. “I can’t tell why he likes you, but I think if you give me a try, I might be able to.”

Isak nodded. “Okay.”

++

Despite Mikael’s words, Isak didn’t try to gain his way back into Even’s good graces. He wanted Even to feel like he was in control. After all, when he thought about it, Isak had realized that Even never felt like he was in control of his emotions. Isak choosing to take away someone else’s control may have triggered a reminder of that for Even.

So Isak was there. He smiled back when Even provided him one first; he answered questions when Even asked them; he didn’t freak out too much when Even returned to sitting next to him. But he never initiated, and he stopped offering to go with Even on his searches.

++

They sat in their literature class, listening as the professor spoke of Wuthering Heights and Cathy’s decision to ignore her bond with Heathcliff for the betterment of her position, to how it led to heartbreak for all involved. Isak was quite interested in the topic, due to relating to the choice of ignoring the bond. He didn’t take any notes though, confident that he would be able to steal from Jonas who was just as intrigued by the subject.

Even sat beside him, as he had started to do again. Isak was excited by his close proximity, but he was unwilling to do anything that might break their tentative truce. Isak could see how Even tensed and grimaced at some of the discussion. Even was vocal in his disinterest of Cathy’s reasoning, unremorseful in his dislike of the choices she made.

“Who could blame Heathcliff for his actions following her death?” Even asked. “This is a man who’s heartbroken. He has no chance of repairing his bond, so he takes his hurt out on other people: the children that should have been his and Cathy’s.”

Discussion was heavy, full of differing opinions and strong words. Isak couldn’t help but respond. “I think she acted out of self preservation. Heathcliff had left to America and she was alone and scared. Who knew if he was coming back? Sometimes people make bad decisions out of self interest. She could have been hurt before he came back if she had waited. He may have never come back.”

When class was over, Isak suggested that Jonas leave ahead of him. He turned to Even, always slow to make his exit, and said, “I really am sorry for hurting you Even. I can see how it looks to you as someone who lost your bond, but know it wasn’t a decision that I made lightly. I was reckless, yes, but I was hurt and scared and 16. I still don’t know if love is for me, if my person will ever be someone I can deserve. Sometimes we choose to do things to save others from hurt, but we only hurt them more.” He pulled his bag tighter over his shoulder. “Anyways, I’m gonna go.”

Even stayed seated, letting Isak make his exit. When he had just reached the door, Even called out. “Isak? I’m still not happy, and I still don’t get it, but I think I am starting to. I hope one day soon you see yourself as someone that is worthy of love, someone who can offer more than fear to a relationship. I hope you see yourself how I- how your friends see you. I hope you let yourself be who you are meant to be.”

Isak did not mean to respond. He had wanted to leave without another word. But his mouth escaped him. “Me too.” He admitted quietly.

And he left.

++

Isak joined the table as his friends were deep in discussion.

“Please Even, you haven’t told us anything new since the hospital, there must be some update you can give us.” Magnus begged, from across the table.

Even was focused on his food, but he gave Isak a small smile when he took the seat beside him. Isak returned it, purposely spreading out in the hopes that Even might brush his hand with his movements.

“There hasn’t been much to find, honestly.” Even told the table, picking at the food in front of him. “I went with Mikael over the weekend to do a bit of a look about, but I didn’t find anything that was helpful.”

Jonas leaned back, pointing a finger accusingly. “That suggests that you did find something.” When Even wouldn’t fess up, he turned to Mikael. “Tell us.”

Mikael laughed, shaking his head at the waggling finger before him. He looked as if he was about to respond before Isak cut him off. “It isn’t fair to ask Even about his bond search. It’s personal, and his alone to share. So we should back off if he doesn’t want to say.”

The table quieted, chastened by his words. Isak shrugged, embarrassed he had spoke out, but it was worth it to see Even’s eyes brighten and feel the way Even swayed into him in thanks. Isak ignored how Mikael looked to him, eyes wide in amusement.

“Even, you might as well tell them. We will be respectful, but I already know anyways so what is the harm in sharing with everybody else?” Mikael asked.

Even stilled, contemplating, before he replied. “Fine. But Isak is right you shouldn’t pester me. It’s just that I want all of you to know.” He took a deep breath and jumped into the details. “There were a few flareups throughout the city, nothing big or that I understood. There was really only one big place where I noticed the lead bringing us. A church.”

The table broke out in excitement, laughter and cheers causing students at tables near them to turn towards them in interest. Even bowed his head, rubbing at his neck as his cheeks pinkened. This was the first time that the location Even had found had nothing to do with him, he explained. This was the first hint that Even’s person was closer to being found than further away. His previous leads had all been able to be connected to Even, so to have a location Even did not connect to was huge. The table was alive with the possibilities that that could mean for Even.

“Do you think they are religious?” Magnus asked.

“Well, they clearly relate to the church somehow, so I think that’s a pretty good guess.” Mahdi said, deadpan.

“That rules out Mikael.” Jonas said softly, Isak didn’t miss the look that Jonas sent his way.

Mikael laughed. “Oh sweetheart, I was never in the running.”

Isak shared the confusion that engulfed the table. Mikael said it so simply, so matter of factly, as if there had been no chemistry between the two of them since their meeting.

“But you two are so close! I thought you could be like me and Vilde.” Magnus admitted, shoulders slumping.

The group laughed at Magnus’ words, but Isak watched Even’s eyes crease and his eyebrows knit together. He glanced at Isak, shared a look with Mikael, and then down to his hands. When Isak elbowed at his side, Even shook whatever thought had been in his mind away and turned to the group with a smile. “Definitely not Mikael.”

Isak took pity on him. “So, did you learn any new info about the church? Anything to help with your search?”

Even sent him a quick smile in thanks. “Not a clue. My family isn’t really religious, so I just know where it is. The place was closed so I couldn’t go in to find out more.”

“You can ask Isak.” Magnus said.

Isak glared at his friend but didn’t back down from Even’s curious gaze when it fell upon him.

“Why should I ask Isak?” Even asked.

“Isak’s mom is like super religious or something. She used to send him these rambling messages in high school about hell and God’s wrath. It was while she was sick so no one commented on it, but Isak took it pretty bad because she kept saying that sinners would be punished and those who did not follow God’s will would live horrible lives. I don’t think it helped with Isak finding himself. He still doesn’t talk to us about his interests. Well, really his interest in men.” Magnus answered breezily.

It had become so quiet at Magnus’ words that they could hear another table discussing what food stalls had the best options for the best price. No one was looking at Isak, and in turn Isak only had eyes for Magnus. Magnus who was picking at fries with no knowledge that he had overshared.

“Dude.” Mahdi said.

Magnus looked to him, the tense of his shoulders, and how Mahdi kept eyeing Isak. Magnus looked to the group at large before letting his eyes fall to Isak’s tense shoulders. “Did I do something wrong?”

The tension broke, and rolling his eyes Jonas said, “We just had a conversation about not invading people’s privacy.”

“But we all know about Isak’s mom?” Magnus looked to Isak for confirmation. “You know we don’t care about you liking guys?”

“Dude!” Mahdi said again, shoving at Magnus’ shoulders.

Isak had not talked to his friends about his interests at all. It wasn’t a big deal per se. With soulmates being widely accepted, there was no valid arguments against homosexuality. That didn’t stop bigots from trying all the same. Although Isak worried when he was younger that any man he could meet might be like his father, he no longer felt that being a dick of a human being was related to having one.

“Uh… its fine.” Isak said, trying to bring the conversation back to an approachable topic. “I don’t usually talk about that time is all.”

“You don’t have to.” Even was quick to assure, his hand reached for Isak’s but it changed direction, patting his arm instead.

“It’s cool. Maybe I can help you with the church stuff. I can talk to my mom and see if she knows anything.”

“Are you religious, Isak?” Mikael asked, looking between him and Even, eyebrows knitted.

Isak cocked his head to the side, returning Mikael’s gaze. “Not really. I go to church every year with my mom. We actually started not long after her episode in high school that Magnus was talking about. I got a chance to talk to her a little bit about family drama. We weren’t always on good terms, but I really want to try for her. I’m open to her religion and in turn she is a bit understanding of my feelings about love and bonds.”

Mikael’s eyes were sharp, cutting through Isak’s words in search of a point. “That is really nice. I go to the Mosque with my family too, so I understand how close that can make you feel to family. Do you just do that for Christmas? Do you go to church more often than that?”

Isak considered Mikael in front of him. He seemed genuinely interested in Isak’s answer, and although Isak did not know why, their last conversation encouraged Isak to answer the question for sake of mending bridges. “No. We just go to service at every year at Christmas and then we go home and spend the holiday together. She really appreciates it.”

“You seem really close. You smile when you talk about her, did you know that? Do you guys attend a specific service?” Mikael’s tone was intense, like he was on the cusp of figuring something out.

It took a moment to figure out how Isak wanted to respond. “Just one at the church my mom attends. Sagene Church on Dannevigsveien.” He clarified.

There was a clatter of cutlery falling to the table beside him. Isak turned to Even as he jerked away from the mess that had spilled upon his shirt. But Even was not worried about the mess, he was staring at his left hand, clutching it in his right hand and cradling it to his chest as he rubbed his fingers back and forth over his palm.

The group looked on, confused, before Jonas asked, “Everything okay?”

Even startled, hands falling to his side. “Uh. Yeah. I’m just going to- just going to go clean up.” He stood shakily, grabbing his things and making a quick exit.

The table sat quietly, watching Even’s fading figure.

Until Mikael broke out in laughter.

When he calmed, Mikael stood. Face schooled into a facsimile of ease but eyes excited, he calmly addressed the table. “I’ll go check up on him.” He looked like he was fighting another laugh.

The remaining friends sat together, poking idly at their food and minds elsewhere.

Isak was wondering if Even was okay when his thoughts were interrupted by Magnus.

“What the fuck was that?”

The hell if Isak knew.

++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, things truly happened. We've turned a corner. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
> 
> What do you think about it?
> 
> Find me @
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	9. Chapter 9

Even missed class the next day. He missed it for the remainder of the week.

There were questions of course, but no one could get a hold of him to get answers. The last person to have seen him was Mikael, and he seemed very comfortable with Even’s long disappearance.

“He’s working things out.” Mikael told the table one afternoon, after constant begging from the likes of Magnus, and okay perhaps Isak had asked once or twice. “I think he has been taking his time putting together some facts, and its left him a bit under the weather.”

“What makes you think that?” Jonas asked.

Mikael shrugged. “Well I went by his place the other day, and I couldn’t get a word into the conversation as he was a bit busy saying things like ‘fuck’ and ‘how’ and ‘since when.’ It was all very amusing.”

“I have no idea of how to even picture a sad Even.” Magnus said. “I mean I know it must happen, he told us about his depressive episodes, but its always been kind of like a concept to me. He’s too happy to be freaking out and sad.”

Isak remembered when they had went past that house with the pool, when they had made it to the hospital while searching. His stomach dropped at the thought of Even sitting alone in his room, shoulders slumped and eyes glazed over with memories, tears threatening to fall. It made him even more worried over Even. He worried his hands back and forth allowing his fingers to feel at his palm, hoping to calm the urge to go seek out Even.

“I hope he feels better soon.” Isak whispered, scared at how sincere his words were.

Mikael regarded him. Isak felt as watched as he usually did when Mikael looked at him. There was always something searching in Mikael’s gaze, something calculating, as if every expression and word that fell from Isak’s lips provided Mikael with another number in an equation that he was itching to work out. When Mikael must have found something new in Isak’s expression, his gaze softened, and he leaned back in his chair. “I get the feeling he is more happy than sad, so you shouldn’t worry. He just feels a bit like an idiot.”

“Why would he feel like an idiot?” Mahdi asked.

“Because he is one.”

“I don’t think its fair to call him an idiot.” Isak said, upset that Mikael would think its alright to speak of Even that way when he wasn’t even present.

Mikael looked at him nonchalantly. “That’s because you’re an idiot too. I would find it cute, if it weren’t so frustrating.”

Isak would have felt the sting, but there was no malice in Mikael’s words. His eyes were kind and his voice teasing. Isak’s friends were laughing so freely, and Mikael was smiling so widely at his jibe, that Isak let it pass. Conversation topics changed, and before he knew it, they had started talking about Mahdi’s desire to find the perfect breakfast space at the university. Tensions eased, and Even became a worry at the back of Isak’s mind.

It wasn’t long before Isak noticed how Jonas’ demeaner had slowly grown more serious, how he seemed to think deeply about the conversation that had just transpired, how he watched Mikael and listened intently to his words. Isak watched as his best friend furrowed his eyebrows, how he kept looking to his hands, how he kept opening his mouth to speak but cut himself off before any words could escape. When conversation lulled and everyone began to focus on their meals, Jonas finally found the words he was looking to say. “Mikael. Can you show me where you bought that drink you got last time? Right now?”

Mikael smirked. His eyes looked to Jonas with the same intensity that he often saved for Isak. “Sure.” He agreed. The two stood and made their exit.

They were gone for awhile, but Isak was distracted by Magnus discussing his last date with Vilde in great detail. He and Mahdi took turns begging their friend to stop, but Magnus continued to provide information that formed images in Isak’s head that he never wanted to revisit.

When Mikael and Jonas returned, they both sported looks of achievement. When Isak got Jonas’ attention and looked between the two, asking for information of what had just transpired, he received only a shrug and Jonas mouthing ‘later’ in response.

It wouldn’t have worried Isak normally, except that he had noticed that neither man had returned with a drink.

++

“Is everything okay?” Isak asked.

They sat alone in the cafeteria now that everyone had made their way to their lectures, and Isak took the opportunity to call Jonas out on his suspicious behaviour with Mikael.

“Hmm?” Jonas didn’t look up from the table. “Totally. Things are great.”

Isak knocked on the table in front of him, forcing Jonas’ eyes up to meet his. “Spill it.”

Jonas sighed. “I asked Mikael about Even.”

Isak stiffened. “And?”

“Well I didn’t get much from Mikael, but I have my suspicions. Do you want me to share what we talked about?” Jonas asked.

Did he? Jonas was Isak’s best friend. He knew more about Isak than anyone else. Even the things that Isak didn’t tell him, Jonas always seemed to already know. It was becoming more obvious to Isak, now that he could look past what was admittedly jealousy, that Mikael was that for Even. Whatever Even was going through, Mikael was helping him figure it out. Isak felt left out, but ultimately, he would hear from Even when he was ready. He didn’t want to break that fragile trust that was just starting to really bloom between them. He shook his shoulders out and then his head. “I’ll hear it from Even when he’s ready.”

Jonas’ sizeable eyebrows pulled together. “Are you sure? Your name came up in conversation.”

Isak nodded. “That’s cool. I can’t blame you all for wanting to talk about me. I’m a super important person.” He tried to joke. Jonas rolled his eyes before Isak grew serious once more. “Clearly Even is going through something, and well, it seems like Mikael’s helping him through it. If Mikael is helping Even, and you’re helping Mikael, who am I to ask to know everything?”

Jonas sat still, watching Isak steadily before he nodded. “I don’t like keeping things from you though. You deserve to know what’s going on.”

“I’ll know when I need to.”

Jonas leaned back. “So chill of you, Isak. What’s gotten into you?”

“Who knows?”

Jonas smiled, mischievous and proud. “Who knows.” He repeated. “You should come hang out with me later. It’s been awhile.”

“I can be free.”

++

Isak sat on Jonas’ couch next to him and Noora as they played Fifa. Noora was chill and much more fun to hang out with than Isak remembered from high school. She was more confident in herself, loud in her beliefs and quick to validate Jonas in his views. Jonas was more open with her as well, he listened to her theories and ideas and actually said sorry when she called him out on some of his more outlandish comments. They were bettering each other, and Isak could see it.

“You two are good for each other.” He said to Noora when Jonas left to refill their drinks.

Noora smiled softly, pulling her blond hair behind her ear and tapping her ring finger when she finished, a sign she had settled. “The universe seems to think so.”

Isak nodded, conceding the point. “But I can see it too. He’s calmer with you, more sure of himself. And you seem settled too. You talk more with him than I ever remember you doing with William.”

Noora leaned back into the couch, eyes growing distant. “I really thought William was the one in high school. I thought we both just needed time before our bond cemented. I didn’t know what it was to grow with someone, to meet someone who wanted to grow with me. I mistook passion for love, and I almost let it destroy me. It’s so much easier with Jonas. I wish I could tell that to younger me. I can’t regret it though. All those steps I took with William, led me to be the person I am with Jonas. Just like his steps with Eva led him to me.”

Isak watched her sweet smile, he watched how she leaned forward excitedly when Jonas returned, how they seemed to move as one. Jonas had it hard with Eva too, but there was none of that uncertainty with Noora now. Isak couldn’t help but question the way he viewed the bond when he watched the two of them interact. Soul bonds didn’t seem so bad when they weren’t all passion and angst. What Jonas and Noora shared seemed comforting, and while watching his friends, Isak realized that maybe he shouldn’t only look to his parents’ relationship as the only way that soul bonds worked.

“Do you think you will ever get your bond back?” Noora asked him, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Isak shrugged. “Who knows?”

Jonas coughed, choking on his sip of beer. When he settled, his eyes were watching Isak seriously. “Have you looked to see if its reappeared at all recently?” He looked to Isak’s hand, and Isak clenched it in response. “You know, like Even’s did?”

Isak refused to look in the direction of his left hand. He could feel his fingers digging into the flesh of his palm; he could feel the small part of him that longed to look. “I don’t see anything.” He said, eyes sharp on Jonas.

Jonas shrugged, accepting Isak’s words and backing down. Isak thought they had ended the conversation, Jonas taking a hold of the game controller, but his best friend let out a whisper. “It wouldn’t hurt to look.”

The thing is, that wasn’t true. The only thing Isak would feel if he looked to his ring finger was pain. He would be hurt if he saw the red thread and hurt if he didn’t. Either way, it wouldn’t lead Isak to where his heart longed to go.

++

Isak sat next to Jonas for their literature class.

Tired and quiet, he focused more on his coffee than the words of their professor. Isak had just resigned himself to a long hour of listening listlessly as a professor waxed poetic about the literary devices in some 18th century novel, when he heard the thud of someone placing their things next to him. Isak looked to his right to see Even had taken the empty seat beside him. He didn’t say anything in greeting but smiled slightly when Jonas leaned into Isak’s space to whisper, “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

The lecture was more interesting after that, but not because Isak had began to care about the use of pathetic fallacy, but rather because he was now focused on Even’s every move. He seemed tired, curled up in an oversized hoodie and slow to take out his notes. His hands shook slightly when he wrote, and Isak couldn’t help but notice how he kept dropping his pen, how he rushed to pick it up again. When this happened a third time the pen rolled close to Isak. He picked it up, leaning close to Even to ask quietly, “Are you okay?”

Even flinched, looking to Isak wide eyed before nodding his head jerkily and accepting his pen. It was a contrast to the sureness of his fingers as they grazed Isak’s when collecting it. Even’s fingers left a burning trail on Isak’s palm and he clenched his fist to collect the heat.

They sat quietly for the remainder of the lecture, but Isak could not help but notice how Even calmed as time wore on. His shaking eased. The tense of his shoulders dissipating. His smile came easier, and his eyes softened as they watched the professor and sometimes caught Isak’s. By the end of the lecture Isak was aware of how Even had shifted his seat closer, how Even leaned into him, how Even had become free with his touch.

++

Even sat heavily in the seat next to Isak in the food hall. Isak watched as he laid out the pizza he had bought and pulled out sauces and dips to layer on the dough. He must have caught Isak’s disgusted look because he smiled brightly and asked, “Do you want a bite?”

Isak scoffed, looking at the soggy mess. “Fuck off.”

“No seriously, Isak! Have a bite, it will be the best thing you’ve eaten.” Even raised the food from his plate and moved it towards Isak.

Isak could not explain for the life of him why he did not say no. Maybe it was because this was the first time Even was acting normal around him since their bond argument, maybe it was because Even was laughing freely with his smile wide and his head thrown back with barely a care for the fact his food might drop on Isak’s lap, maybe it was simply because it was Even. For a reason Isak could not explain, he did not say no, instead Isak opened his mouth and accepted the bite of pizza that Even offered him. He chewed slowly, letting the flavours dance about his tongue and enjoying how Even watched for his reaction.

“There. Not so bad right?” Even asked, when Isak had yet to speak.

“It’s passable.” Isak admitted, tongue darting out to catch any sauce that had made it to his lips. If Isak didn’t know any better, he would say that Even’s eyes followed the movement.

“You can have some more.” Even offered. “As long as I can steal some of your fries in return.” He said, reaching forward to take the fry that Isak had just reached for from his hand. Isak felt his cheeks heat as Even slowly brought the fry up to his lips.

“Any updates on the bond thing?” Mikael asked loudly, wrenching Isak from the bubble he had been in with Even.

Even coughed loudly, cheeks pink as he looked into Mikael’s smiling gaze. “I’ve hit a bit of a wall. Thanks for asking.” He said, sharp and sarcastic.

Isak looked between the two confused. “Did something happen? I know you left last week, but Mikael said you figured something out.”

Jonas snorted from beside him. “Definitely seemed like it was something big.”

Mikael laughed at Jonas’ words.

Isak watched the two and took notice of Even’s ever reddening cheeks, how he glared at the two. “I am taking a break at the moment. Letting things settle. I went a little overboard last time and nearly sent myself into an episode. So, I’ll take things slow for now. Is that okay with you two?”

Mikael looked way chastened, and Jonas leaned back in his chair arms up in surrender. “Fine. Do what you need to do. I’m sure things will work out for the best when you start again.” Jonas said, placating.

Isak’s eyebrows furrowed, but he was more concerned with Even’s wellbeing than the strange way their friends were acting. Even would tell him when he was ready, he reminded himself. “If you’re looking for a chill weekend, you can come by my place and we can watch one of your weird movies or something?” He suggested softly.

Even looked to him, eyes soft and smile small. “I think I would like that.” He said quietly.

“I think that’s a lovely idea, Isak.” Jonas said loudly.

“Oh yes! Best idea of heard all day.” Mikael agreed with a wide smile.

Unsure why his friends were being so odd, Isak offered quickly, “Did you guys want to join?”

“Oh no!” Mikael said, leaning back with his nose scrunched unpleasantly as if Isak had asked him to attend detention with him.

“I’m super busy with Noora.” Jonas said, shaking his hands in front of him as if warding off the thought.

“Okay…” Isak watched the two suspiciously. “Well, you know where it is, Even. Come by anytime.”

Even smiled at him brightly, nodding in acceptance of the invitation before turning a glare back to their other friends.

++

When Isak heard a gentle knock at his door, he was quick to get up. He hadn’t even yelled out a welcome before he was wrenching the door open to let Even in.

Even must not have been prepared because he startled at the door opening, looking up to Isak with wide eyes from where he had been staring at his hand.

“Sorry for the mess.” Isak said, pulling the door wide and gesturing for Even to enter.

Even navigated over clothes and plates littering the floor, he pulled a face at Isak before he said, “What a way to treat your guest. You must really like me Isak.” His eyes widened at his own words and he began to blush.

Isak felt his own cheeks heat, bending down to collect his clothes into a pile. “They’re clean I swear.” He promised.

“Then why are they on the floor?” Even asked, his tone teasing despite his pink cheeks.

Isak didn’t know how to tell him that it had taken him an hour to settle on his outfit. He stood in his least stained white t-shit, his tightest blue jeans and a deep red sweater. He had chosen a matching snapback to complete the look. Embarrassed, he started to collect his plates and headed to the common area to clean it, Even following behind. He didn’t ask for assistance but didn’t turn down Even’s offer to help him dry his dishes. Even waved away Isak’s quiet thanks.

When they returned to Isak’s room, Even seemed hesitant to sit next to him on the bed. He relented when Isak pat the space beside him. Isak offered him his fluffier pillow, pulling covers up so that they could get comfortable in the small dorm space.

“Isak. Can we talk?”

It was quiet, a small question that felt ground-breaking in it’s weight. It scared Isak.

“No.” It came out too quickly, belying Isak’s nerves. He tried for a joking tone when he continued. “Today isn’t about talking. It’s about enjoying a night without worries. Talking can be for later.”

Even nodded uneasily. “We can talk later?”

“If I don’t die of boredom first.” Isak joked. “What do you want to start with?”

Even startled, looking up at Isak from where he had been watching Isak’s hands in the covers. “Start with?”

Isak cocked his head to the side, watching Even’s strained movement as he took the cover from Isak. “The movies?”

Even’s eyes widened. “Oh! Right. Well, I suppose we start sad?”

Isak smiled. “Just like you to want to end on a high note.”

Even played with his fingers in the cover below him. He mumbled quietly, as if not intending Isak to hear it. “Don’t want your night with me to end sadly.”

Isak didn’t respond, turning to his computer to pull up Romeo and Juliet and begin the film.

They watched quietly. Well, Isak did. Even kept interrupting the film to tell Isak about the cinematography, the set dressing, and the wardrobe choices. If it had been anyone else, Isak would have been annoyed, but because it was Even, he merely found it endearing.

Isak secretly enjoyed the fact that Even was pausing his search for his bond mate. He was annoyed with himself at the sense of relief it created within his stomach. How happy he was to think he could have just a short while longer of Even like this. When bond mates met, there wouldn’t be time to spend weekends on your friend’s bed watching tragedies. Like Jonas and Magnus before him, Even would be available in the day light for light conversation and jokes. Isak would return to his dorm room at night, cold and lonely, and find himself unable to sleep until the morning sun made an appearance.

Trying to shake the chill that had settled in his bones at that thought, Isak focused on the story and Even’s anecdotes. As the movie continued, Even quieted and Isak found himself enraptured by the story itself. The movie was beautiful, imagery and dialogue mixing to create poignant commentary of true love and loss. The story of Romeo and Juliet was a damning criticism on the choice of parents to ignore soul bonds for anger and grudges. Isak watched as the two protagonists fought to be together, how Juliet was expected to marry another despite not being destined, how hateful her cousin was to Romeo despite their bond, and how she still cried over hearing of his death. When the film ended, Isak tried to surreptitiously wipe at his eyes, hoping that by putting on an exaggerated sigh, Even might not notice his glistening eyes.

By the way Even was watching him, Isak assumed he had no such luck. “Everything okay?” Even asked, leaning toward Isak as he raised his hand to wipe at Isak’s eyes.

Isak leaned away from him, bringing his own sleeve up to wipe at the tears he felt escaping. “Y-yeah.” He said quietly. “I guess I wasn’t ready to relate to them. I knew the story, but it didn’t occur to me how much I would relate to a family causing pain to their children.”

Even had not lowered his hand, and when he again reached for Isak’s cheek, Isak didn’t have it in him to pull away a second time. Even’s fingers felt like they were burning a brand into Isak’s skin. He leaned further into the sweet heat, and Even mirrored his movements. He was very close, so close that Isak felt his stomach roll heavily. Even’s free hand reached for Isak’s where they were worrying in his lap. The act of stilling Isak’s hands seemed to steal all the air in the room. Even came closer still, and unsure what was happening, Isak spoke out, stalled all movement. “Should we watch the next one?”

Even leaned back, stunned. His hands dropped from Isak, and Even lifted one to run through his styled hair. He took a moment to respond. “Uh… yeah. Put it on.” He gestured to Isak’s screen.

Isak turned from Even, focusing fully on the computer in front of him in the hopes that it would calm his frazzled nerves.

The opening notes of the title song rang out through the quiet room. Isak burrowed down into the covers, making himself comfortable as he watched Julia Roberts amble about the screen ignoring her lead for a chance at a living.

Isak’s eyes blinked slowly, trying to focus on the story taking place before him. He found himself looking out of the window and into the dark night. Sometimes he would get distracted by the way the streetlights seemed to illuminate Even’s outline as he focused on the screen. Isak was just beginning to enjoy Richard Gere’s face, when he dropped off to sleep unceremoniously.

He woke up before the movie ended, hot and with an odd crick in his neck. Isak took a moment to collect his thoughts. The movie was nearing it’s end, Vivian sat on a fire escape as Richard Gere made his way to her in a white limo. Isak was watching the film on an angle, from where he still lay with his head on Even’s stomach. Eyes widening, Isak made to push away from his friend, but he was caught by the fact that Even’s arm was tight around him, holding him still. Isak’s cheeks heated, and he moved slowly lifting Even’s arm from where it lied without trying to wake the sleeping man. When he disentangled fully, Isak rewound the film and watched from where he had last remembered seeing.

Even slept slumped against the wall. As Isak watched the film, he noticed Even started twitching, reaching out in his sleep. Worried for Even’s comfort, Isak reached for him and pulled his arm, trying to wake him. Even moved with him, still asleep, and cuddled into Isak’s side as his arm wound around Isak once more. Flustered, but unwilling to wake Even from his deep sleep, Isak turned back to the film and watched. He watched the cheesiest film he had ever seen, about two bond mates from different tracks who so clearly made each other better despite all the obstacles standing in their way.

When it finished, Isak opened youtube and wasted away the time, still unwilling to move Even from his spot. When he finally felt Even stir beside him, tightening his hold before rocking back from Isak’s body as he became more aware, Isak paused the music video he had been listening to and greeted the still sleep soft Even.

Even rubbed at his eyes, taking in Isak and then the Nas video he had been listening to. “The movie was that good?” He asked, teasing.

Isak laughed, closing his laptop. “I actually liked it. Although, I don’t know if I can agree with Mikael that it is better than Romeo and Juliet.”

Even let out a whoop of laughter. “See? Romeo and Juliet is superior!”

Isak laughed, endeared by the sweet smile on Even’s face. “I’m not saying that. I do think I prefer happy endings. Besides, like Vivian said, she gets to save him right back. I like that it is her choice as much as it is the bond’s.”

Even watched him quietly, a small smile played across his lips as he listened to Isak’s words. Isak became very aware of his wandering hand, reaching out for Isak’s on the blanket. “I like that.” Even whispered, as their hands touched, sparking heat in Isak’s stomach. “The idea that we have just as much influence over the bond as it has over us.”

Isak clenched his fist, pulling it away from Even’s searching hand. “Something like that.”

“The bond is an interesting thing. Isn’t it?” Even asked. He had let Isak pull away, but he was clearly still interested in the conversation he had tried to start earlier.

Isak wasn’t ready to hear Even’s news. He wasn’t ready for his happiness or his progress. He wanted it for Even, but he wasn’t ever sure he’d be ready to witness it. Isak looked out of the window, taking in the dark night sky and the light of the streetlamps. “It’s getting late.” He noted aloud.

Even followed his gaze, watching the same sky as he returned his hand to his lap. His shoulders slumped, as if he had lost the courage that had lined them. His tone was soft when he spoke again. “Yeah. I should probably go?”

Isak heard the question in his tone, but unsure why Even would have anything to ask, he nodded. “I can let you out.”

The wind was blowing fiercely when they reached the bottom of the staircase and the dorm’s exit. Isak watched as Even shivered, pulling his thin t-shirt around him tighter. “I had fun, Isak. We should watch more love stories together.” Isak almost didn’t hear it because of the wind.

Isak pulled off his sweater, handing it to a confused Even. “Only if they have happy endings.”

Even took the sweater, pulling it over his bare arms and sinking into its depths. “I don’t mind sad endings in movies, so long as I get a happy one in real life.”

Isak looked at Even, allowing himself to study Even in the dark of the night. Tall and blond and too good for him. Even’s blue eyes were bright, his hair sleep messy, and he looked so at home in Isak’s red sweater. Isak knew what Even meant. Bad things could happen, so long as the good things outweighed them. It was a happy perspective to have after such a struggle to reach it. There was a lot for Even to see the good in. Even had a love out there waiting to find him, but Isak had a lonely dorm room to return to. Isak’s sadness existed outside of the films they had watched together. It tinged every moment of happiness he had felt tonight. Waking up with Even surrounding him was a dream for Isak, a happy moment for him to long for. But dreams don’t come true. That soft whisper of sadness remained to remind him that the warmth he felt when he was near Even was not real, no matter how much he might wish it to be so.

“Good night, Even.” He whispered into the night, hoping it might be taken away and fall upon some other Even’s ears, an Even who was available to this lonely Isak. An Even who was free to have a connection that Isak could not deny he now longed for. His left hand itched, but Isak refused to look away from Even before him.

Even’s eyes lost a bit of their shine. He slumped further into the sweater encasing him. “Good night, Isak.” He replied, but his voice wasn’t tinged with the same sadness Isak’s had. His words held promise, and his eyes were determined.

Isak watched him depart.

++

“Noora and I are having a party.” Jonas announced to the table at large.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Mahdi said, sticking his tongue out playfully when Jonas turned to him, affronted.

“What kind of party?” Isak asked wearily.

“Well, Vilde and Eva got on her case about not throwing a bond party when we first learned about each other. Now Noora is making it a joint thing so that I am not stuck being in a room with Vilde, my ex and the rest of their friends by myself. So, really, I am just telling you this as a formality. You all have to come.” Jonas leaned back in his seat, satisfied his friends now knew.

“When is this bond party?” Even asked from beside Isak. He was wearing the red sweater Isak had given him, but no one was questioning the clothing choice. Isak thought that maybe no one else had noticed it was a little bit small on Even, or that Isak had worn it just last week. Isak felt like he was harbouring a secret every time Even turned to him, smile in full bloom, and fiddled with the strings of the sweater.

“Friday.”

Even reached towards Isak’s fries, grabbing one and placing it into his mouth, thoughtful. “We’ll be there.” He said with a smile, reaching for another one.

Isak hit at his hand, pulling his plate from Even’s grasp. “Who is we?” He asked, annoyed.

Even furrowed his eyebrows, giving Isak a puppy-dog look that had him relenting and placing his plate halfway between Even and himself. Even’s face cleared, smile bright. “All of us of course. There is no point in acting like we wont all show up for Jonas.”

Mahdi and Magnus nodded easily enough, and Mikael agreed when eyes moved to him. Isak watched as he caught hold of Even’s gaze, and with a smirk on his face, raised an eyebrow nodding to the plate between them.

Embarrassed, Isak pulled the plate towards him, pretending to want a specific fry to do so. He was so focused on the plate before him that he almost missed Even’s red cheeks as he mouthed ‘fuck off’ to Mikael.

Mikael leaned back, face to the sky as he laughed out loud. When he returned his gaze to the table, he smiled at Isak. “Oh, I wouldn’t miss Friday for the world.”

Jonas leaned forward for a fist bump that Mikael gladly returned.

++

Isak had agreed to arrive early to Jonas’ place so that he could help with setting up. He now stood just inside Jonas’ door, pink cheeked and regretting his easy agreement, as he listened to Jonas and Noora run around his room looking for their clothes. Perhaps Isak should have knocked, but perhaps Jonas and Noora should have kept it in their pants until after the party. Isak now knew some intimacies about his best friend that he wished he did not.

“I hate you.” He informed his best friend, as Jonas rushed out of his room and into the hallway dishevelled and red faced.

“You are always late, Isak! Why would you choose today to be on time?” Jonas screeched incredulously.

The two broke out in laughter.

Jonas pointed him in the direction of food and drink with the clear instruction to put things out and then left Isak to his devices as he returned to his room to better sort himself out. He heard the shower start running and let his mind wander.

Isak was interrupted in his preparations by the doorbell. He waited to see if someone else would answer, but still hearing the sound of the shower, Isak made his way to the door himself.

Even stood on the opposite side in a white t-shirt with his hair styled behind a yellow bandana. “Where is your white?” He asked, poking at Isak’s black t-shirt.

“Were they serious about the dress code?” Isak asked, struggling to look away from Even’s blond strands as they fell over the band of yellow. He wanted to touch them so badly.

“Why don’t you ask them?” Even asked, looking about the room behind Isak who suddenly became aware he was blocking Even from entering. Isak stepped away abruptly, turning back to the living room, letting Even follow him inside. “Where are our lovely hosts?”

Isak scoffed, handing Even a bag of chips so that he could help set it out. “Probably finishing up what I interrupted when I arrived.”

Even let out a bark of laughter. “That’s amazing. Were you embarrassed? I bet you were. Your cheeks are still red!” He nudged Isak’s elbow, jostling the solo cups Isak was putting on the table. “So cute.” Even mumbled quietly. He looked away from Isak and towards the now set up table. “So cute.” He whispered again.

Isak was about to deny it, ready to set Even straight, but he could hear as the shower cut out and interrupt any chance for Isak to save face.

Noora was first to enter the living room. She looked beautiful, in a beige pair of pants and a soft grey sweater. Her make up was minimal, and she hadn’t yet put on the red lipstick that Isak associated her with. She looked happy; she looked like she had found home. Isak smiled at her from across the room, and she returned it, cheeks growing pink.

“Nice and relaxed Noora?” Even asked, causing the room to break into laughter again.

“Yes.” She smirked. “Thanks for asking.”

Jonas entered the room when it quieted. He was wearing beige pants and a white shirt as well. Isak took the ribbing for the black shirt he had chosen but accepted easily enough when Noora suggested placing bright pink stripes on his cheek so that some part of him might glow. They worked together to finish setting up the room. Isak felt good; he felt like the night would only get better.

++ 

The party was in full swing, and Isak was happy to note that he knew almost everyone in the room. He mingled with his friends from high school, joking and laughing about nostalgic times from their teenage years. He teased Sana for her sweet words about her bond mate Yousef, who was currently chatting happily with Mikael and Even. Isak couldn’t help joking about how she lost her hard edge.

Isak himself turned red when Sana, watching him intently, noted, “I’m not the only one who has my eyes over there, Isak. You’re more obvious than you think.”

He pulled his eyes away from where Even was gesturing wildly. “That won’t go anywhere.” He said firmly. “He’s looking for his bond mate.”

Sana’s tone lost its teasing edge. “Bond mates are found in odd places. Sure, I felt a connection to Yousef immediately, but it wasn’t until Elias suggested we look to our bond that we knew for certain. Some people’s bonds don’t form until well after they know each other. It was that way for Vilde and for Noora.” She pointed to her friends, wrapped happily around their partners.

Isak was surprised by the flush of jealousy that the view sparked within him. When he turned beack to Sana, Isak lifted his lips in the imitation of a smile. He knew it didn’t replicate one successfully. “You all still had your bonds, Sana.”

“Even didn’t. Not from what I heard from Noora.”

“But he does now, and he is looking for his person. I still don’t have one.” Isak played with the paper label on his beer bottle, shredding it with his hands.

“Isak…” Sana began, but she was unable to finish her sentence when Yousef interrupted them. Apologising with a smile, he pulled on Sana’s arm, bringing her to the center of the room to sway back and forth in an imitation of a dance.

Isak watched them. Their soft touches and secret smiles warmed his heart and left a dull ache when that warmth faded. He watched as Vilde and Magnus joined them in the center of the room, as friends and couples joined them, as Jonas and Noora happily made their way to the center of the room.

“Would you like to dance?” Even asked, by his side, startling Isak from his musing.

He looked between the couples and Even. “I don’t dance.”

Even gestured to the dance floor. “Neither does Magnus. I think we can make it work.”

Isak wanted to say no, he wanted to step away from Even’s intoxicating presence, but when Even took his hand, Isak was a goner. He followed Even to a corner of the room, close to the door and away from the sight of others, letting Even manipulate his arms as they swayed back and forth. Isak was getting used to Even’s warmth, the way his soft hands would hold Isak’s tightly, the way his eyes followed Isak’s movements, the way his breath would puff warmly against Isak’s neck and shoulders every time he was pulled in closely to Even’s body.

Isak couldn’t hold it back much longer, as much as he tried to keep his secret for himself. Even made him feel cared for, listened to, and Isak was tired of running from his feelings. “You make me really happy.” He said into the collar of Even’s white shirt. He looked up when Even stopped moving, focusing on the blond’s hair, the glowing yellow band around his head, anything to keep from seeing shock in Even’s eyes.

“Isak.” Even breathed, a question in his words. “Look at me.” His fingers found their way to Isak’s chin, gently lifting it.

Isak tried to resist, truly. He didn’t want to break any further. He didn’t want to let loose any other truths. But Even’s touch was warm, and Isak could feel his gaze growing hotter, so he looked up. If Even’s fingers were warm, his gaze burned. Isak felt branded, scorched by the intensity of those blue eyes. How was he to resist when Even pulled him closer? When Even lifted his chin further? When Even lowered his own, so that his lips touched Isak’s?

Isak felt burned. Heat moved throughout his body, moving from his lips outward, setting his nerve endings aflame. He was sure he was red, as he opened his mouth to accept Even’s curious tongue. He leaned further into Even’s touch as his hands lifted from Isak’s wrists, to his waist, and settled at his neck, thumbs swaying softly against Isak’s cheeks. Isak felt every inch of Even’s skin on his cheek. He was sure they would leave a scar, Isak’s face heated further, a red mark sure to remain from Even’s hands and his lips. Isak couldn’t resist, his hands itching to hold the man in front of him. Isak kissed Even with everything he had, and his hands followed. He reached up, circling Even’s wrists with his own. They just settled, tight around Even’s questing hands, when Isak became aware of just how much he burned.

The heat was intense, and not at all comforting. Isak was burning from inside and he didn’t know how to douse the flames. No matter how right this felt to him, Isak could not forget the one truth his own finger made clear: Even was not his. Isak would end up discarded with his past flames, with Sonja and any other who flew too close to Even’s sun. Isak may be feeling flames, but Even’s fire would always burn for someone else.

Isak pulled back without warning. He left Even in the living room, no doubt confused and unsure where Isak had disappeared to so quickly.

Isak left the party. He exited out the front door without once looking to see if anyone had seen him go. Was everyone else unaware of the explosion that had just taken place inside of Isak in the middle of Jonas’ home? Had anyone else bared witness to Isak losing every battle he had had against love? Isak clenched his fists, trying to keep the tears from falling, and turned to make his way to his empty dorm room.

He was stopped by an arm on his shoulder.

“Isak! Why did you go?” Even was panting, holding tightly to Isak’s black shirt.

“Why did you follow me?” Isak knew it sounded cruel, uncaring, but it was that or cry.

“What do you mean? Was I the only one there a minute ago?” Even’s hand was warm, too warm after the heat Isak had just escaped.

“Even, forget about that. It was a mistake.” Isak shook Even’s hand from his shoulder.

Even let his hand fall. “A mistake?” He shook his head, feebly. “Mistakes don’t feel like that, Isak.”

Isak wanted to cry. He tried so hard to keep the tears from falling, but he knew it was a losing battle. “Even I won’t be another stop on your journey before you find your bond mate.”

Even laughed, but it was humourless. “What are you on about, Isak? Do you ever really look at the reality of things around here? Have you ever noticed the big picture? I had it slapped in my face last week, and now I’m just waiting for you to catch up.”

Isak would not let Even stray from his true happiness. Not for something that could ruin him. Not for something that Isak would never be able to recover from. “Even. You’re amazing, and you’re beautiful, and you’re lovely, but you’re not mine. I’m not yours. I can’t be your distraction before you find your person. You’re so close to them already. Don’t settle for me. The kiss was a mistake.”

“It wasn’t a mistake, Isak!”

“It was.” He felt calm, sure of his words. “Exploring this will do nothing but hurt us in the long run. You won’t be able to see me the same. I’ll be ruined for anyone else. Even if I get my bond back, who can possibly compare to you? You’ll have your person, and I will be your friend. It’s better this way.”

“Isak if you knew something, but someone close to you didn’t, would you tell them?” Even’s eyes were wide, he took hold of Isak’s hand, holding it tightly. Whatever Even knew, it was singing on his skin. Isak could see how Even was dying to share his knowledge.

“Is it important that they know?” He watched as Even’s shoulders slumped. “Do you want to tell them for them, or for you?”

Even dropped Isak’s hand, he sat heavily on the sidewalk, placing his head in his hands. “Can’t it be for both of us?”

“Will they be upset when they learn about it? Are they ready to hear it?” Isak had to keep the distance. He had to make sure Even knew that Isak wasn’t going to fall into Even’s orbit. He wouldn’t let himself be pulled into Even’s desire, no matter how much Even wanted him in that moment.

“God, I don’t know! I hope not. I really, really hope not. But things aren’t easy to read.” Even said.

“Then leave it to fate.” Isak suggested.

“My god! How much longer can I leave things to fate? I learned from fate; I know my fate. He doesn’t know his.”

Isak leaned away from Even, his stomach hurting at his words as if punched. “I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Even looked up, finally looked at Isak from between his fingers. “I’m not sure that’s true, Isak. Have you once in this entire time wanted your bond back? Have you even given yourself the chance to look? Isak, have you ever even tried to get your bond back?” His voice was raw, broken.

Isak took an involuntary step back. “W-what?”

“Isak… are you ever going to be ready?” Even whispered. He stood, pulling his things together, pulling himself together, closing off something within him. “I have to go.” He said, turning away from Isak’s confused gaze.

Even left, and Isak finally felt what it was like to feel truly alone.

++

Sleep came slowly that night.

Isak was missing something. It felt obvious, like he was purposely ignoring the signs around him. And maybe he was. A quiet voice that Isak had been ignoring grew louder as the night passed. It whispered to him in the dark of the room, a truth so obvious if Isak were only willing to accept it.

Even knew something. Something he wanted badly for Isak to know too. Something that was important enough to upset him when Isak wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t look to his hand.

There was a strange turn in Isak’s stomach. Nerves on edge. Excitement and worry warred within Isak as he thought over the events of the night. He wasn’t ready for truths tonight. He wasn’t ready to admit to himself that Even was more upset with Isak than if Isak was just a means to pass Even’s time until he found his bond.

There was a truth that was glaringly obvious, if Isak was only willing to look.

But not tonight.

Tonight, Isak would sleep.

++

“You fucking idiot!”

Isak jumped at the bang to his dorm room door. When the knocking continued and the profanities grew louder, he hurried to his door. Mikael and Jonas greeted him on the other side.

“You stupid, dumb, brainless, child!” Mikael seethed as he pushed his way into the room, Jonas following slowly beside him.

“What did I do?” Isak asked miserably, returning to his bed and huddling under the covers.

Mikael deflated a bit at his sorry appearance. “We set up yesterday perfectly for you.” He sounded petulant, like his grand plan had never hatched.

Isak looked from Mikael to Jonas. “Explain.”

Jonas worried his hand through his dark curls. “Okay, so…” He began. “Don’t get annoyed.”

“Jonas.”

“Okay, okay.” Jonas sighed. “So, you remember how you said you didn’t want to know what Mikael and I talked about? It’s about time you figured it all out. We were hoping you and Even would kiss yesterday.”

Isak blinked. He kept closing and opening his mouth, unsure what he wanted to say.

Mikael pushed at Jonas’ shoulder, turning to Isak with an accusatory finger. “None of that. You two were supposed to kiss, and you were supposed to use that big brain everyone says you have and figure it out.”

Isak looked between the two of them, finally finding his words. “Find out what?”

“Oh my god! Poor Isak wants what is best for Even, wont even fight for himself and what he wants.” Mikael groaned. “Doesn’t even use his eyes to see Even is head over heels for him and has been since the beginning. I already had this whole talk with Even, and I thought you were smarter than him.” Isak ducked the pillow Mikael threw at him.

Jonas pulled at Mikael’s shoulders. “Okay, I think we need to calm down. I’ll continue this intervention.”

Isak watched as Jonas turned fully to him, placing his hands on Isak’s shoulders. “Jonas? What is going on?”

Jonas took a deep breath. “Isak.” He said calmly. “I know that deep down you know what this is about. I know you want it, but you’re scared. It’s time to face your fears. Can you please, for the love of god, look at your left finger.”

Isak clenched his fist, feeling it itch. He had avoided looking at it for as long as he could remember that it had become second nature to ignore his left hand. Even being asked to do so now, Isak didn’t look right away. “Why?” He asked quietly. Both Jonas and he knew why, that Isak was asking as a diversion.

“Isak. Just look.” Jonas said, exasperated.

So, Isak finally did.

On Isak’s left ring finger, burning a bright red, was a thread meant to lead him to his soulmate.

Isak gaze stayed, unmoving on the thin thread for a long moment. “Oh.” He breathed.

“Oh, he says!” Mikael shouted. “Its only been obvious to everyone around!”

Isak ignored him, staring at the delicate ring of thread around his finger. “I have a soul bond.” He knew that his tone was reverent. “I have a soulmate.”

“Three guesses who it is.” Mikael said, teasing. He sounded exasperated.

Jonas pushed him, both calm now that Isak had accepted what they had apparently both known.

Isak looked from them to his hand again. Stunned but unwilling to let his friends gloat, Isak couldn’t help but make a comment. “Do you guys know who it might be?”

Mikael tensed, ready to pounce. “I am going to kill him.”

++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And let there be words because there sure are a lot of them in this one. And a lot of things that happened. We're down to the last one!
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Find me:
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


	10. Chapter 10

Isak knew who his bond mate was. Of course, he did.

As if there could be any question as to why his bond would choose now to reappear. There was no question who it was that could possibly be so perfectly suited to Isak, in all his glories and insecurities. And even with that certainty, Isak was too afraid to say it out loud for fear the red thread on his finger might disappear once again.

For someone who successfully avoided looking to his left hand for years, Isak couldn’t look away now. His string was short, it stretched out ahead of him in a straight line. It, like Isak, seemed to know exactly where it would lead.

“Can we start at the beginning please?” He asked his friends, eyes still on the hand in front of him.

“What do you mean?” Jonas asked, pushing Isak over and taking a seat on the bed beside him.

“What makes you so sure who my bond mate is?” He asked tentatively.

Mikael fell heavily into the desk chair in front by the side of the bed. “Maybe because he knows who his bond mate is.”

“He knew who it was yesterday?” Isak asked tentatively. He already knew the answer, but the twin unimpressed looks sent his way confirmed it. “And before too?”

“Think back Isak. You’re more observant than this.” Jonas deadpanned.

“That lunch when he ran out?” Isak asked. “After Sagene Church?”

“That very one.” Mikael confirmed. He was smiling gently, all frustration gone now that Isak was admitting he knew what had happened as well.

It made sense. There were so many connections that Isak had not been willing to make at the time. Though he had wanted Even’s attention to himself, he hadn’t really felt like he was deserving of it. Until yesterday. Until he had Even’s full attention and he had realized that he deserved more than a half love or no love at all. He deserved his bond.

If only he had given Even the credit that Isak knew he deserved. Even was free with his love, but not with his heart. He wouldn’t have been so open to Isak or treat him to so much intimacy if it had not mattered to him. He wouldn’t have given himself to Isak without intending to stay, not when he knew how hard it was for Isak to be honest with Even, with himself.

“Okay.” Isak breathed out, accepting the truth of Mikael’s words. “When did you know?”

Jonas answered first, hand soft on Isak’s in comfort. “I could tell you liked him. You’re more obvious than you think.” He pat Isak’s hand when he threw himself onto the bed in embarrassment. “Being around you two was a flirt fest. It was the fact you warmed to him so quickly. You guys were so close. When you were worried about his absence after his little freak out, and Mikael wasn’t worried at all, I figured it out.”

“Honestly? I had my suspicions since I first met Even.” Mikael told him, rifling through Isak’s things on his desk. “There is this super passionate guy, upset about losing his bond and so determined to find it again. And while he’s telling me about this, he keeps cutting himself off to mention you.”

Isak blushed, unsure how to take in the information that Mikael was offering so freely. “What do you mean?”

Mikael leaned forward in the small space of the room, to poke at Isak’s cheeks. “This is why he thinks you’re so cute. Honestly, I can see it. You’re pretty adorable when you’re trying not to be flustered.” He resettled himself, looking through the papers on the desk once again. “It’s just that he would say his opinion on a show, or a story, or something he learned in his science class, but then he would tell me what you argued. How you didn’t agree, or you saw the events somewhat differently. It made me want to meet you. Then I did, and I couldn’t understand how Even got any words out of you at all.”

The heat in Isak’s cheeks would not dissipate. “I didn’t really like you at first. You took up everyone’s attention.”

Mikael looked to Isak with a raised eyebrow. “I took up Even’s attention, you mean. Just admit you were jealous.”

“You sat in his seat. You had his attention. You’re so friendly, it was like two peas in a pod. You can’t blame me for thinking you two were perfect for each other.” Isak argued.

Mikael shrugged, conceding the point. “Arguable. But then you clearly didn’t see how often he looked to you. How your hands always seemed to be inches from touching. How your words meant the most to him. I had to listen to him talk about you all the time.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be hearing this.” Isak said, embarrassed by his own lack of observation.

“Oh no, sweetheart.” Mikael waggled his finger. “I had to listen to Even talk about how perfect you were for weeks, all the while he didn’t listen to me when I suggested the two of you might be literal soul mates. He told me your secrets when he was angry, even after I said they weren’t his secrets to tell, so I get to tell his when there is happiness.”

“I’m not sure that’s an equal exchange.” Jonas said from beside Isak, laughing.

“I had it much worse!” Mikael clenched his fist, effecting a look of passion. “Do you know how dramatic he is? You’d think he’d lost his thread all over again, when really he was just sad yours hadn’t come back. He really thought that it meant you weren’t actually his.”

“Mikael let the man have his secrets.” Jonas hadn’t stopped laughing at the way Mikael was flailing about and affecting a lower tone to emulate Even’s voice.

“I warned him!” Mikael spit. “I told him if I had to listen to how pretty Isak’s eyes were, or how Even bet Isak’s hair was as soft as his voice in their morning class, I would tell Isak. I said, ‘Even buddy, this is sweet and all, but I am even embarrassed at how obviously into Isak you are. Just look at your finger please.’ And he was all like, ‘I could never deserve Isak, there is no way.’ And when he finally did the thread wasn’t short. But of course, it wasn’t. Even’s journey to his soul bond had to be as dramatic as he is.”

Isak listened to Mikael’s words with a growing smile. Mikael was sweet as sunshine when he wanted to be, but he clearly had a lot of bite in him as well. Isak had judged him too quickly, and he had clearly been wrong in his assessment. “Even really thinks I deserve better than him?”

Mikael deflated. His tirade paused, and he sent Isak a bright smile. “Idiots. The both of you.”

Isak squawked. “Why am I an idiot?” He asked.

Mikael raised one of the papers he had been shuffling through in his hand. It was one of the drawings of Isak that Even had given him. Mikael placed it back on the desk, and then lifted a second one, then a third. “Isak how could you have ever thought Even had eyes for anyone but you?”

As Isak looked at each drawing, coloured anew by the information he had gained in the last hour, Isak had to admit he didn’t actually know.

++

Isak had spent his night listening to Mikael and Jonas as they discussed their own threads and how they worked to lead them to their person. That is to say, neither of them had. Jonas found Noora years after meeting her, but exactly when it was perfect for both of them. Mikael didn’t search out his bond, but he was aware of it, happy to have it and working to make sure he was the best he could be for when he learned who his person was. He didn’t look to his thread, but his mother had told him it was short and no longer tangled at her last visit.

Their words sparked something warm in Isak’s heart. He knew with the return of his lead, Isak had no option but to follow it.

When Monday morning arrived, Isak was excited to be up. Being in love must have worked wonders on the dispositions of those who were soul bonded, because Isak had never been excited to wake up in the morning one day in his life.

Isak showered. A concept that had never been dealt with by him in the early morning. He dressed well in his cleanest beige slacks and the only white shirt he owned without stains. Isak forewent the snapback he usually put on in place of showering, for actually brushing out his hair and attempting to style it.

He couldn’t help but think that perhaps it might be easier to speak to Even if Even couldn’t make himself look away. And as conceited as it may sound, Isak knew he could turn heads if he tried. He just never thought that he would want one gaze in particular to linger on him. With all of Mikael and Jonas’ words from yesterday, Isak was sure that he had somehow missed just how often he had had Even’s attention anyways. This was all to say that Isak felt pretty good leaving his dormitory that morning.

That was until he didn’t see Even in their science class. Or at the cafeteria afterwards. Isak couldn’t help but notice his lead was not shortening at all, without the presence of Even.

Isak sighed, joining his friends and their girlfriends at the table and ignoring as Mikael blatantly checked him out, sending Isak a look of approval. “Have you guys seen Even?” He asked. He was aiming for nonchalant, but he must not have achieved it by the way Mikael’s smile softened, and Jonas shrugged apologetically.

Even Mahdi seemed conciliatory when he sent Isak a tight smile. “Not today. Maybe he’s sick?” He offered.

“He did disappear at the party.” Magnus said between bites of his sandwich. “Was he sick then too? You were gone too, actually. Did you both eat something bad?” He turned sharply to look at Vilde who had just elbowed him.

Pushing a strand of her blond hair behind her ears, Vilde widened her eyes at her bond mate. She cleared her throat and turned back to Isak. “Was everything okay after the party?” She asked.

“The party was lovely Vilde.” Noora said quickly, sending Vilde a look much like the one Vilde had sent Magnus. “I remember Even told Jonas he had to leave early, didn’t he honey?”

Jonas looked from Isak to Noora confused, but agreed nonetheless. “Yeah. He might have mentioned.”

Magnus shrugged, taking another deep bite of his sandwich, though he spoke again before he had swallowed. “Even told me he was really excited that night. Didn’t mention needing to go anywhere, but I guess he must have because why would he be so excited to be at your bond party, Jonas? Even Isak bailed before it finished, and he is your best friend.”

Isak blushed, but he was saved from responding when Vilde pulled sharply on Magnus’ shoulder to whisper harshly in his ear. Though the look of dazed confusion didn’t leave his face, Magnus didn’t speak again.

Noora took up the task of keeping the conversation going, happy to take the heat off of Isak’s whereabouts after the party.

Thankful, Isak took the opportunity to focus on the phone in his lap.

_Hey._

_Are you feeling alright?_

_I miss you at school. Will you be coming today?_

His phone remained annoyingly quiet until the screen lit up in the dark of his room later that night.

Even: _Have you ever had to heal your broken heart?_

++

“Did you really think it would be that easy?” Mikael asked. He was silhouetted by the morning light.

Isak had pulled his two friends aside to ask for help regarding Even’s absence

“He is a bit dramatic…” Jonas agreed. “And Isak, he loves you. You must have hurt him quite a bit when you pushed him away. I can’t imagine how I would have felt if Noora did that.”

Isak’s shoulders fell. They were right. Even had probably planned for that night at the party to be important. Magical. He had tried to talk to Isak alone when they had watched movies, and when that didn’t work, a big move must have felt like the only way to really get Isak to consider their potential as a couple. It seemed crazy to Isak, but Even had tried to keep him from being in the center of the room, from being the center of attention in a party planned to be ultimately about him. And by Magnus’ continued ignorance, it seemed that their whole friend group had not been entirely in on the concept themselves.

Isak just hadn’t fully been ready to listen. At least not until he couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt to be with Even. Not until he realized he had Even’s entire attention, and Mikael and Jonas to confirm that no one else could possibly take his place in Even’s heart.

“I’m gonna have to find him, huh?” He asked, but he knew the answer.

“You could do something grand to get his attention, like he tried to get yours.” Jonas suggested.

Isak shook his head. “Cause that worked so well the last time?”

Mikael smiled ruefully, leaning forward to ruffle Isak’s hair. “Then do it your way. However small that might be.”

“Okay.”

He could do that.

++

On Wednesday, as the morning light began to illuminate the university side streets, Isak followed his lead the short distance in direction it sent him in.

It was still early when Isak arrived at a quiet residential building he had never been to. Isak walked its parameter, stopped by a small convenience store to slow his movements and catch his breath, and when he still didn’t feel like he had enough time to gather his strength, he stopped at the KB Even worked at to pick up a croissant to ease his fluttering stomach. Isak pointedly ignored how his thread burned brighter in the café. When he finished his meal, and felt his nerves finally settling, Isak ordered two drinks to go and looked to his lead once more.

He headed back to the building,

In hindsight, Isak should not have expected it to be so easy to get into a building. He waited 10 minutes before any sign of life could be seen in the building’s foyer. He smiled nervously, muttering a thanks to the woman who held the door a bit longer for him to enter as she exited. He had no idea where the lead meant him to go, so he wandered back and forth, level by level, until he noticed his bond grow the brightest he had seen it.

Isak took a deep breath, and shuffling the drinks in his hand around, knocked on the door in front of him.

“Isak?” Even was sleep soft, blond hair mussed about his forehead and eyes still half closed in sleep. Even his voice was softer, deep and ragged from a lack of use.

Isak shoved his hands forward. “I brought drinks.” He said for something to say. He watched as Even seemed to stand up taller, as he seemed to wake up a bit more. He stood with one hand on the door frame, his shoulder leaning into it to keep himself up, his bare foot propping the door open. Isak looked back into confused blue eyes. “Can I come in?”

Even accepted the large green tea that Isak offered him, pulling back from the door and gesturing his arm in front of him, a clear invitation for Isak to follow. He brought his forefinger to his lips, pointing to a closed door behind him. “My parents are still sleeping.” He whispered by way of explanation. He led Isak to his room. “What are you doing here?” His voice was soft, confused and just a little hurt. Isak felt his own heart ache in turn.

Isak gulped. He took a look about the space to try to calm his nerves. The bed was messy, situated just below a window. Even moved towards it, pulling the yellow curtains open further before taking a seat. Isak walked to the opposite side of the room, placing his coffee on the windowsill as he looked at the different doodles that littered the wall. He was still looking at a drawn recreation of Romeo and Juliet’s church scene when he finally answered. “So, I came here to apologize.” He turned to the bed.

Even was watching Isak. His hands were wrapped tightly around the tea in his hands, his legs crisscrossed under him. Isak watched as his worried eyes softened and a smile grew on his lips. “I can accept one.”

Isak clenched his fist, aching to reach out for Even. Catching sight of his red thread, Isak realized there was no reason to fight that urge anymore. Crossing the room swiftly, he sat heavily in front of Even. His hand fell to Even’s knee. “I’m really glad to hear that.” He said, smiling softly at how Even’s cheeks had gotten red and his eyes darted from Isak’s hand to his eyes and back again. “Because I came here with an ulterior motive.”

Isak felt Even tense, his breath hitching as Isak leaned forward to place a soft kiss on Even’s slack lips. “What?” He whispered, unconsciously following Isak’s lips when they pulled away.

Isak smiled at the dazed look on Even’s face, lost but so ready to see where this path was taking him. “Even?” Isak asked against his lips when he couldn’t resist leaning forward again. “When were you planning on telling me we were bond mates?”

Even let out a reedy breath. “Fuck.” He pulled back from Isak, looking at him in question. He must have found what he was looking for, because Even placed his tea down, unwinding his legs from under him, and rushed to pull Isak onto him. “Finally.” He whispered against Isak’s lips, a sentiment Isak couldn’t help but agree with.

Even’s hands were everywhere. At Isak’s neck, pulling his hair, sliding across his shoulders and down to rest at his hips. They continued to feel, to light a fire under Isak’s skin as he let out encouraging noises. Isak’s own hands were discovering Even. He felt at the dimple of Even’s cheek as he smiled into their kiss, he felt his strong chest as Isak’s hand searched out friction, he felt at rough denim when his hands reached Even’s lap. Nervous, Isak reached for Even’s hands at his hips, twining their fingers together and focusing on that heat rather than the warmth growing in his chest.

Even used the connection to flip them so that Isak was under him, at Even’s mercy. He let go of Isak’s right hand, holding tighter at his left where their bond connected, and using one hand began to pull at the waistband of Isak’s bottoms.

“Even… Even wait.” Isak panted, struggling between pulling Even closer and pushing him away. Even answered for him, completely backing off at Isak’s words. He still held tightly to Isak’s hands. “No.” Isak pulled him closer still. “I’m just new to this.” He struggled to explain. “I have never done this.” He felt his cheeks heat at his words, but they stayed aflame due to the look that took over Even’s eyes.

“And do you want to do this?” His eyes were dark, pupils blown wide, and only for Isak.

Isak licked his lip. He felt seen by Even, and he was beginning to realise he really liked that. “Yeah.” It came out breathier than he intended. “Really bad.”

Even smiled, and it turned dirty quickly. He pulled at Isak’s bottoms, urging Isak to lift his hips as Even used both hands to pull down both Isak’s jeans and the boxers below them. Isak could feel the heat of Even’s hands at the V of his hips, and he felt the same heat as it took hold of him. Isak felt his eyes close of their own accord, throwing back his head and muttering a quiet, “Fuck.” Even held him, getting used to the weight of him in his hand, before Isak felt him shift, and felt the telltale puff of air against his skin, the only warning provided before wet heat surrounded him.

Isak made a noise he was not proud of, reaching his hands into Even’s blond strands and pulling at his soft hair. Even set a quick pace, leaving Isak with little control of his body let alone his mind. His eyes focused on Even in front of him, the bob of his head, the feel of his mouth. “Even.” He said, over and over. The only thing that mattered, the only thing there was, as far as Isak was concerned. He breathed a quiet warning, letting Even choose his next action as he pulled off Isak, taking him in his hand once more and encouraging him to come. And Isak did.

He fell to the bed, jelly limbed and breathing heavily. Reaching for a box of tissues on his nightstand, Even set about cleaning the mess he had made. Even placed him back in his boxers, and sat in front of him, smiling down at Isak’s state. He had just opened his mouth to speak, when the door opened behind him.

“Even, are you awake yet?” His mother looked towards the bed shocked and quiet, as Isak hid face and Even dove for the covers. She made a hasty exit shouting a loud, “Sorry!” Upon her exit.

Isak was stock still, red and hidden beneath the covers. He only looked to Even when he let out a loud chuckle, covering his mouth guiltily at Isak’s glare. “Sorry. It’s just, of course that’s how you’d meet my Mum.”

“It’s not funny!” Isak said, voice wavering. “How do I face her? She knows what we were doing!”

Even leaned forward, pulling Isak into a kiss despite his protests. “You were covered. She has no real proof. It doesn’t matter either way though, you’re mine and she’ll love you anyways.”

Later Isak was still embarrassed, but he knew he’d have to leave the confines of the bed eventually. When Even took his hand, pulling him up and to the door, Isak held onto him tightly and followed him to the kitchen.

“Mum, I want you to meet my bond mate.”

++

An awkward breakfast later saw Isak saying goodbye to Even. His smile was bright, and he was still holding Isak’s right hand where their threads connected. He pulled Isak about the room, ignoring his complaints and laughter in equal measure. When he had finished, Isak saw that Even had collected his things in a bag. “Did you really think I was just going to let you leave, after finally really getting you?” It was sweetly asked, the sincerest question Isak had ever had directed at him.

“I didn’t want to assume.” Isak would not put pressure on Even, would not force him to choose.

Even scoffed. “Assume what? You’re stuck with me.” He pulled Isak’s left hand to his lips, kissing at the skin of his ring finger where their bond staked its claim. He looked at Isak seriously. “I am not your father, and neither are you. Stop trying to keep something from happening that never will. It’s a waste of your time and energy, and I want you energized.” He smirked, placing a kiss on Isak’s lips, full of intent and promise of what was to come.

Red cheeked, but hopeful of the future, Isak whispered, “Okay. Even would you like to come home with me?”

The answer was quiet, reverent. “Please.”

++

Isak woke to an empty bed.

He wouldn’t say he expected it, but the nagging worry that chilled his bones at the idea of Even’s absence was a remnant of a time passed and no longer felt all consuming. He trusted his bond mate, enough to move forward with the relationship, but it would take a lot for Isak to lose the habits that he had worked so hard to create over his years of isolation.

This meant that when he found that he had space in his small bed, and a cooling area beside him, Isak’s first response was to worry. He lifted his head, searching the small room for signs of life. He spotted none, but then he also spotted Even’s jeans on the floor next to his shoes.

Slightly reassured, Isak pulled his nearest hoodie over his head and headed into the group kitchen to explore.

It was a Thursday, midmorning. The morning rush would have already left for the day, and Isak was sure the students that had afternoon classes would still be sleeping. Still, there was music blaring across the open space.

Isak rounded the corner, just catching Even as he began to sway with the words of the song on the radio. He hadn’t noticed Isak yet, focused on the frying pan on the stove in front of him and the spatula that he was using to cook and as a microphone in equal measure.

Isak stood watching the man he had wanted so badly, the man he was destined to have. He didn’t move, enjoying the chance he had to watch Even. He looked happy. Isak felt a relief well within him, and as he continued to watch Even that relief morphed into something softer, something infinitely more fragile.

Isak felt lucky.

He had denied himself for so long, fought against hopes and attraction, and still he got the chance to have Even in his life. Isak wasn’t sure he had ever or would ever be able to do enough to make himself worthy of the man before him. But as he stared at Even dancing in front of him, at Even who let out a hushed curse when he burned his finger on the pan while examining his work, Isak found he was willing to try all of the days ahead of them to be worthy.

Isak moved forward then, pulled in by Even’s siren song, and reached his bond mate’s side. “Hi.” He said.

Even only noticed him then, turning away from the stove to smile down at Isak and place a soft kiss to his forehead. “Halla.” He whispered.

Unsatisfied, Isak pulled Even closer, leaning up to steal Even’s lips, just catching the gasp Even let out in his own mouth. Even regrouped quickly, letting his hands run up Isak’s sides to rest at the nape of his neck with his fingers playing gently in Isak’s hair. Isak placed his own arms around Even’s shoulders, pulling him ever closer and deepening the kiss. It felt like the first time, the second time, and each time after. Isak would never be able to escape the heat of Even’s kiss, its ability to brand him, to claim him. Isak found he was okay with that, and that he never wanted to escape Even’s affections. He would happily burn forever more within them. Even could brand him, and Isak would accept the mark with pleasure. It was almost as if he could feel the heat, could smell it in the air.

“Isak.” Even tried pulling away from his grip but gave in easily when Isak moved for another kiss. “Isak, the eggs.” He tried again, his words spoken directly into Isak’s ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

That explained the smell.

“Let them burn.” Isak suggested, but he pulled away easily enough at Even’s laugh.

“We need to eat.” Even reasoned.

“We need to kiss.” Isak countered.

Even smiled, bright and happy. “We can do that after we eat.”

“But we’ve wasted so much time!” Isak pouted.

“We have forever.” Even promised, low again and in Isak’s ear.

Isak shivered. “Forever isn’t long enough.”

Isak could feel Even’s smile on his skin. “Then we can have after that, too.”

Their eggs were only slightly burned when they returned to the room.

++

“We missed Science.” Even noted as he looked at the time.

“School is for nerds.” Isak said.

“We have to go learn about the bond Isak.”

“We’re living it right now. Learning by experience is important.” Isak said as he rested his head on Even’s stomach.

“No school?” Even asked, fingers carding through Isak’s hair.

“No school.” Isak agreed.

++

“You knew it was me before I did.” Isak whispered into Even’s neck. “When?”

Even lay on his bed, bundled comfortably in Isak’s grey sweater, with Isak lying across him in an imitation of a blanket. He carded his hands through Isak’s hair, pulling at the ends gently, and Isak felt himself easing into sleep. It was quiet for a long while before Even responded. “I wanted it to be you since we met.” Isak felt Even’s chuckle at his breath catching. “I thought that maybe, if you didn’t have a bond, and I didn’t have a bond, maybe we were broken together.” His hand stilled in Isak’s hair. “I never thought I’d be lucky enough to be right.”

Isak played with the string of his hoodie, drawing doodles across Even’s chest. “You scared me at first.” He admitted quietly.

“I know.”

“You were the first time I wanted to feel. You had me looking at love differently immediately. I never questioned myself before I met you, and suddenly I could see how everything I was doing was wrong.”

Even’s hand tightened across Isak’s waist, pulling him closer still and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. “I won’t say sorry for that. Sometimes people enter your life for a reason, and you’re not ready to see what that reason is yet, but when you do it changes everything.”

Isak breathed heavily against Even’s side, focused on his fingers on Even’s body and Even’s on his. It was almost too much. “So, when did you realize?” He asked, hoping to lift the heavy atmosphere.

“At the lunch table.” Even laughed at Isak’s guilty expression. “I know you figured it out. It’s just ridiculous. We had been on all these walks together, and I never noticed that you related to all of the places we went to as well. The skate park, the house I hated, the hospital. And then finally you don’t come with me one day, and I go to a church I’ve never been to, a church that means nothing to me. We’re sitting at a table I’ve eaten at for months without noticing, and you just say the church I had been thinking about since I saw it for the first time, as if it were the most casual thing in the world. And I burn. I itch to touch you, like I always do but usually ignore. Only this time its intense. I can’t keep pretending I don’t want to touch you. I look to my hand and it’s as bright as I’ve ever seen it! But you still didn’t know, you still didn’t have your bond and my heart broke a little.”

Isak held Even, trembling and sad. He held him through his heavy breathing and through embarrassed apologies. “I’m here now.” He promised. “It took me awhile, but I’m never leaving again.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

++

They had no sleep that night, which in itself, was ridiculous because it was the most well rested Isak had ever felt.

He watched Even move in the small space of his dorm room, as he painted everything with his presence. Isak would never be able to think of this room without him, would never sleep well again without Even’s arms wound around him.

Even hovered above him now, lips highlighted in the soft light of the streetlights, eyes hidden in the shadow, but Isak could still feel how they burned. Isak was struck motionless by them, a servant to Even’s every whim as he taught Isak things about his body that he didn’t know he needed. His lips pulled soft sounds from Isak, his tongue louder ones, and when Even took his time, using his fingers to search Isak, to find him, Isak made noises he didn’t know he was capable of.

Even prepared him, listened to his words and fears before melting them away with care and attention. “Ready?” He whispered quietly, as he aligned himself with Isak, waiting for him to speak his confirmation aloud. When Isak did, Even pushed, and Isak knew he wouldn’t be the same again.

It took time and patience, but Isak lost himself in how Even felt so right. Above him, inside him, all encompassing. Isak felt at his sweat soaked stomach, pulled him in with his thighs, asked Even to help him find release. Even provided it to him, soft and caring, rushed and hard, however Isak wanted it, whenever he asked for it. Isak lost himself to Even, and when he found some semblance of sense again, he asked Even to join him. Even chased for it. He found salvation on Isak’s lips, and he panted against them as he spent himself.

They lay, soiled and sated, branded by each other. Isak stared at the ceiling above him, thinking of the future that lay ahead of him with Even by his side, just like he was now. His hand searched out Even, itching to hold him, to never let go again. And Even took his hand easily, brought it to his lips and kissed the soft skin there.

“I love you.” Isak whispered into the dark night, eyes still focused on the ceiling above him, a blank canvas for his dreams. “I have for a long time.”

Even’s smile was soft where Isak felt it on his chest. “I love you too.” And Isak knew the words were a promise. Even wouldn’t stop.

He left his own promise on Even’s lips, pulling back with a wince, nose wrinkling. “We’re gross.” He announced to the empty space.

Even lifted himself from the bed, searching for something to clean them with. “Shall we shower?” He asked, smile dirty, and Isak knew he would only be able to say yes to him ever again.

++

Time passed quickly when Isak’s day was spent in bed with Even, cuddling with Even, and generally appreciating every moment he had that he was able to kiss Even whenever he wanted. Sunday arrived quickly, and they had not left Isak’s room for more than food or to share a shower.

“Can’t we stay here forever?” Isak asked, sure they would have to make their presence known after missing three days of classes.

“Yes.” Even said, cuddling closer to Isak as he placed his lips to Isak’s temple. “But also, I got a text from Mikael.”

Isak smiled as he burrowed further into Even’s side, silently asking for Even to keep his lips on Isak’s skin. Even happily placed another kiss to his skin. “I don’t care for Mikael really. He did a lot to get us together, but clearly outran his usefulness. Ignore him. We will stay here.”

“He wants to know if I’m okay. Asked if I talked to you.”

Isak sighed, pulling away from Even. He leaned over Even to reach for his own phone, letting himself fall onto Even’s chest when he pulled Isak down. Isak looked at his notifications. “Jonas texted me. Wants to know if my absence is a good thing. Mikael texted too. He says, ‘You better not be fucking up.’ Don’t know what to say.”

Even laughed, distracting Isak for a moment by pulling him into a kiss. He pulled away too quickly for Isak’s liking. “Why do they get to know if we’re okay? They are too involved. They don’t need to know we’re happy.”

“Did you know Mikael told me everything. He convinced me it would be you because he kept telling me all you did was talk about me. He told me I was your bond mate.”

Even slammed his head into Isak’s pillow as he laughed. “What an ass. I’m annoyed because he warned me he’d do that. I said he could, but I didn’t believe he really would. He wanted me to tell you already. It was actually him who said I should just go for it at Jonas’ party.”

“They came up with the party as an excuse to get us together.” Isak told him.

Even’s laughter grew louder. “For real? Jonas too? Man, they were more invested then we were.”

Isak lifted off of Even’s chest to look at him better. “You weren’t in on it?”

“No.” Even promised. “But I could see why they thought it would work. I can’t be too annoyed though, not now that I have you.”

“Me neither.” Isak admitted.

“We should get back at them though.” Even chuckled.

“By not replying?” Isak asked.

“At the very least! We should make them think we haven’t talked.” Even laughed.

Isak pulled him into another kiss. He smiled into it when he felt Even’s fingers flex on his hips. He enjoyed Even’s grunt of displeasure when he pulled away. “Yeah, fuck them. They can worry. They did enough. Let them sweat it.”

“Sure. That’s fine, but I don’t want to fuck them. I want to fuck you.” Even said into Isak’s neck.

Isak offered more skin for Even to kiss, and Even took it willingly. “That can be arranged.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

++

Isak and Even made their way to the food hall hand in hand on a bright Monday afternoon. Just before they entered the space they let go.

“Time to be sad.” Isak said.

“Don’t know if I can be sad ever again. Not a sadness that I can’t get out of knowing you’re on the other side of it.” Even said, smile wide.

“Well try.”

Even laughed. “Well fine.”

“Go in first.” Isak told him. “I’ll go get a drink.”

Even’s eyebrow furrowed. “You’re leaving me? To the hounds?”

Isak poked at Even’s forehead, ridding him of his wrinkled brow. “If we go in together, there is no chance we pull off the lie.”

Even smirked, pulling Isak closer. “Look at us scheming together. Couple goals.”

Isak pushed him away, smiling. “Go, you idiot. Make people believe you’re sad.”

Even pouted but went easily enough. “See you soon. Already miss you.”

Isak waved him away and went on a search for coffee.

When he returned, Isak found he was greeted by a chilly table. Mikael was glaring at him, Jonas mouthed ‘what the fuck’ in his direction, Mahdi looked as if he was trying to become one with his chair, and Magnus looked extremely confused.

It seemed whatever lie Even had come up with had been extremely successful. He wasn’t looking at Isak, and Isak himself struggled to keep eye contact with anyone as he took his own seat.

“Hey, Isak.” Mikael said bitingly. “Do you need to talk to anyone before you sit down at all?”

Isak bit his lip, trying to stave off a laugh. He sat, quietly staring at his hands.

“Buddy, everything okay?” Jonas asked, leaning forward and nodding his head in Even’s direction.

“I’m sorry I can’t be here.” Even said suddenly, standing and exiting the room. Isak could see his shoulders shaking as he left the room, probably from laughter.

“Isak, what the fuck?” Mikael yelled, rounding on him after Even left.

“I thought you were going to talk to him.” Jonas added. “This doesn’t make sense.” The look he shot Isak’s way was questioning.

Isak looked back down at his hands. “I should go.”

“No, no, no, no, no. Explain what went wrong.” Mikael insisted.

Isak stood from the table, heading in the direction Even exited. He ignored the table as they shouted his name.

When he made it to their science class, Even was doodling happily. Isak took his heat beside him, and accepted Even’s head on his shoulder happily.

“That’ll teach them.” Even said.

“What did you say? Mikael was ready to kill me.” Isak asked. He moved to take out his notes, and Even followed him refusing to move from Isak’s shoulder.

“I didn’t say anything at first.” Even told him. “And then I told them I only got one text that said, ‘I’m not ready.’ They all thought it sounded just like you.”

Isak laughed. “Fuck you.” He said.

“Gladly.” Even replied.

Isak blushed.

Isak took notes during their lecture.

Even drew image after image of them in various places doing couple like things. When he finished one image, he would write ‘ _In the future’_ next to it. His head never left Isak’s shoulder.

++

“I knew it made no sense.” Jonas’ voice was soft but accusatory.

Isak looked up from where Even and his hands were connected as they exited the lecture hall. “Uh…”

Even shrugged next to him. “I’m not willing to let go of his hand to keep up the charade.”

Jonas started laughing.

Isak smiled next to him. “Did you believe us?” He asked, genuinely curious.

Jonas shrugged. “Even had me convinced until you showed up. You kept refusing to look me in the eye.”

“It was worth a try.” Isak shrugged.

“You can’t keep it from Mikael much longer. He’s ready for blood if you two don’t get together already.”

Even laughed. “He can wait another day.”

Jonas nodded easily enough.

++

They heard the hoot of excitement before they even made it to their usual table.

“Finally!” Mikael shouted from their table, slapping at Jonas’ back to get his attention. “We have a new obnoxious couple to take up all our energy!” It was teasing, but the big smile on his face took away any bite it may have held.

Isak could feel his cheeks heat, but he was far too pleased with the feel of Even’s hand in his to let go. Instead he lifted his free hand to flip Mikael off, while happily sitting next to Even in the free seats.

Jonas smiled at him, lifting his hand for a high five. “Way to go, Isak. Bagging a good one.” He said it quietly, meant only to tease him, but by the red of Even’s cheeks he heard it too.

Isak’s cheeks hurt from how often he smiled lately. “I did. Didn’t I?”

“So, when did it happen?” Mikael asked, suspicious immediately when eyes shifted away from him. “What did I miss?”

Jonas began to laugh beside him.

“What did I miss?” Mikael asked again. “Jonas?”

“Last week.” Even said sweetly.

Mikael dropped his sandwich back onto the table. “But yesterday…” He looked up quickly, eyes moving accusingly back and forth. “Did you lie to me, Even? Isak?” He let out a noise of annoyance at Isak and Even’s twin grins. He unleashed a tirade on the couple, but Isak found he didn’t mind so much with Even’s hand warm in his. “Is this why you guys were gone last week?”

Isak shrugged easily. “As if I could wait any longer to be with Even.”

Even looked to him, delighted. He leaned forward, and Isak was hopeless to resist his pull as he accepted the kiss Even so freely gave him. He was so caught up in his bond mate’s eyes, he almost didn’t notice the flash of light in their direction.

“I hope you’re ready to answer all of the questions.” Mikael smiled angelically. “I just posted your gross fawning over Instagram and tagged you both.”

Isak balked, trying to reach over the table and pull Mikael’s phone out of his hand. It was fruitless, made harder by the fact that Isak refused to remove one hand from Even’s grasp.

They stopped when they heard a shout from across the food hall, Isak turning at the sound of his own name.

“Why didn’t I know?” Magnus shouted as he stalked across the space. “How long has this been going on? Did you guys even like each other? This is ridiculous! Was this just something I was supposed to find out on my own?” Isak felt Even begin to shake with laughter beside him, and soon he joined in. Magnus sat next to them, alight with righteous fury. “You will have a bond party! You will tell us everything.”

“But Mags,” Even began between peals of laughter. “You were here for it.”

Magnus deflated, stuck. “I clearly was unaware. And anyways, I love a good love story. Tell me again.”

Holding tight to Even, watching how his smile grew larger and his eyes smaller as they crinkled at the corner, Isak became suddenly aware as to why couples loved to share their bonding stories.

So, they did.

++

The space was bustling. They had asked Even’s parents if they could host at his place because there was no room in Isak’s small dorm room, and anyways Isak’s room had become so synonymous with the two of them that he didn’t feel like he could have someone else in it without it feeling like a violation of their safe space. Even now, they had had to sneak off to Even’s room for a moment to themselves.

For friends and family that were excited to learn the two had bonded, they sure were eager to separate Isak and Even with the intent of hearing different sides of the same story. Isak was not dependant on Even’s presence by any means. He had no issue sitting with Jonas and Noora, or getting teased by Mikael without Even there to save him, but if he got stopped by one more person he didn’t know asking him if he was okay with Even’s ‘habits,’ Isak wouldn’t be responsible for any blows he might come to.

He stood with Even now in his bedroom, as he held Isak’s cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his cupid’s bow. Even swiped his thumb across it when his mouth had moved away. “It’s okay, Isak.”

“It’s not. They are acting like you’re fucked up. Like I have to deal with you rather than being lucky for getting the chance. Seriously Even, fuck your family and the people you called friends.”

Even looked at him so fondly, his eyes shining, as he pulled Isak in for another kiss. “They mean well. I told you the loss was a lot on me.”

Isak wrapped his arms around Even, holding him close. “I will make sure you see you the same way I do. And until you do, I’m going to call out all the bullshit comments your family makes. We have good enough friends that you don’t need them.”

Even nodded, resting his head against Isak’s shoulder for a moment before lifting it again. “Okay.”

They looked at each other. The smiles they shared, the brightness in their eyes, green and blue, the promise they made against each other’s lips. They were bonded, a choice made by biology, but they were in love by choice. Isak had found his person, and Even his in turn, and both were sure that they would do everything in their power to let their partner know they were loved.

They must have been in the room too long, because soon there was a voice from the hallway and an accompanying knock. “I better not be interrupting anything.” Jonas called.

“Keep it in your pants!” Mikael shouted, louder.

By the loud laughter in the hallway, he was heard by most of the guests.

Even pulled away slowly, smiling before calling out, “I know that Jonas isn’t suggesting we would be as vulgar as some members of our friend group!” He opened the door unceremoniously and stepped back as their friends stumbled their way into the room. “Welcome.” He said, laughing at Jonas’ running an embarrassed hand through his brown curls.

“We thought you might have been indecent.” Mikael laughed.

“And you wanted to catch us?” Isak pushed him back out the door, laughing too, at his indignant squawks.

They left the room, holding hands, small smiles for just each other.

++

They didn’t leave each other’s side after that. Isak sat so close to Even he was basically on his lap, but Even seemed happy enough with the arrangement if the way that he kept pulling Isak even closer was to be believed.

They stopped mingling, only really interacting with their friends around the couch. The family they had chosen. Isak was people watching when he wasn’t wrapped up in Even, and it took a moment for him to collect his thoughts when something caught his eye.

“Even, who’s that with Mikael?” He nudged Even, who had dozed on his shoulder for a bit.

Even righted himself, looking to where Isak gestured. “Brown hair? Friendly smile? Quiet?” At Isak’s nod, Even laughed. “That’s Adam. He’s Mikael’s friend. Super close since high school.”

Isak watched the interaction, watched how Mikael smiled at the man before him, how he searched out Adam’s hand when he wanted his attention. “Since high school? Hey Mikael!”

Mikael’s head shot up from where he had been bent toward Adam, listening to something he said. Mikael smiled, pulling Adam towards the bond mates that they were celebrating. “Hello boys! Have you met Adam?” His smile was softer than Isak had ever seen it.

“No.” Isak said, and by the giggle Even let out into his neck, he knew he wasn’t being subtle. “What brings you to our humble celebration?”

“Mikael.” Adam said, simple and soft. Isak thought it almost sounded reverent.

Isak was fascinated by the way Mikael’s cheeks reddened. “Well, you know how Yusuf came with Sana. Elias and Mutta were invited too, but they didn’t arrive yet. Somehow I ended up babysitting Adam.”

“Do you not like being with me?” Adam asked, and again Isak was struck by how sincere he sounded.

“No!” Mikael shouted, redder still. “I’m happy to be around you. Always.”

“Good.” Adam didn’t look away from Mikael, and Isak felt like he was intruding on something. “Me too.”

Isak elbowed Even, sending him a wide-eyed look. Even smiled at Isak and nodded. “Say, Mikael… I wanted to ask you about your bond philosophy.” Isak said.

Mikael paled. “Adam can you go get me a drink?”

Adam smiled. “Sure.”

When he disappeared into the other room, Mikael whirled on him. “Don’t embarrass me.”

“No, seriously.” Isak said.

“You said if friends and family notice anything, you would check.” Even continued.

“And I know we’re only almost friends,” Isak eased the tension by making Mikael laugh. “But you should really ask your mom to maybe check for you next time.”

Mikael’s voice came out quiet and hopeful. “Really?”

Isak looked to Even, who nodded and took up Isak’s cause. “Really, Mikael. You look good together.”

“Like we could be a pair?”

“The most perfect kind.” Even answered.

“Okay.” Mikael said. He smiled as Adam came with four drinks for the group.

Adam offered Even and Isak a beer each, saving two cans of soda for himself and Mikael.

“You don’t drink?” Isak asked.

Adam shook his head. “No, I do. But Mikael doesn’t, and I don’t like when he feels left out.” He placed a soft hand on Mikael’s shoulder.

Isak nodded, but he didn’t reply when Mikael sent him a warning glance. He just smiled wide and snuggled into Even’s side. Now that he had found it, Isak wouldn’t give his love up for anything. He wanted others to share this feeling, to be just as lucky as he was. Snuggled into Even’s side, with Even’s sweet words soft on his skin, Isak wanted nothing more than that moment to last forever.

Isak was sure of one thing.

Isak would happily have this for the rest of their lives.

++

Three months later, Isak found himself as happy with Even as he had been on the first day their bond was confirmed.

++

Three years later, Isak and Even were still in love despite disagreements and minor fights in their time together.

They had learned to communicate.

Even was quick to talk feelings out with Isak, call him out on his habit of keeping thoughts and opinions to himself, and indulge in Isak’s need for reminders of his love.

In turn, Isak gave Even space when it was needed, lauded Even’s achievements and skills, and fought for him in the days where the darkness seemed much more impressive and the morning light seemed far away.

Their union was filled with trust and understanding.

++

Years passed.

It was an ordinary day, like any other in their lives. Isak had gone to work; Even had slept in. He had still managed to complete a commission by the time Isak had gotten home. They had eaten a meal made by Even, and Isak had cleaned the dishes as a thank you.

Isak had laid in bed, watching the moonlight dance on Even’s skin, when it occurred to him.

He was older now than his mother had been when his father had left them when he was a child.

And Isak and Even were still there, still happier than Isak had ever been before they had found each other. They had found a million perfect moments with each other, a million forevers for them to cherish together.

Isak was still in love with his soul mate, and he knew Even felt the same for him. There was no way that they would fall to the same situation his mother and father had found themselves in all those years ago. His father’s choice that fateful night would do nothing to affect the love that Isak had been able to find for himself when he was just a young man in university.

He thought back to the night of their bond party, to how happy he had been to have Even by his side for even that short time. It occurred to him; he was right that night.

Isak would have this love for the rest of his life.

++

And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with 9000 odd words we bring this one to a close. 
> 
> Thanks so much for taking the time to read this slightly odd take on a soulmate au. It kicked my butt in the end, but I hope it turned out pretty good. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I really do love hearing back!
> 
> Find me:
> 
> tumblr: iwritetropesnottragedies.tumblr.com
> 
> twitter: @iwritetropes


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